Hi Everybody!

In the last few days since I wrote, I've been contemplating employment and the work force, in general. See...I had a little mini break down this week. Some times I feel like I'm getting all the work no one else wants to do. It just seems to be frustrating that after 7 years of school, two degrees, and a job I liked (even though, as mom points out, I complained about it) that this is my life. I think about this at least once a day. The question I always ponder is this...is this what everyone feels like in their job, or is this a "gut" screaming to get out?

One the one hand the job is fun. I get to meet new people, I am not confined to a desk, I have freedom in certain aspects of this job, the hours aren't in stone, I'm not training and am in corporate America like I wanted, it allows me freedom to move AND move up, and it could be worse...I could be a pooper scooper, or other such jobs.

However, at least once a day I think...how did I end up here? Just for clarification, this is not a "I live in a dream world, like I always imagined, how did I get here" wonderful moment. This is the reaction to my gut screaming to get out. Whatever person is trapped inside of me (Not the Southern Woman...the thin, creative person) is NOT happy to be trapped in my life.

Now, before you start thinking "Gee, Jenn is become more and more schizophrenic", I'd rather think of it as trying to listen to the aspects of me that are being squelched or ignored. And somehow, I feel like I move further and further away from that in every job. Now, in athletic training I satisfied my need to help people and sports minded side. (
Kare, didn't you have a quote for girls that like sports?) When I left and went to Fundraising/Special Events, I dipped a little into my creative side. I also got my need to interact with lots of other people filled. While, I often felt I was doing low-Jenn-on-the-totem-pole stuff, this was probably my favorite job.

Working at DI (through Manpower) was fun, b/c I was helping, but insulted my intelligent side, that felt this work was very beneath it. That side was pretty much insulted in most of my temping work, but the fear-of-commitment part of me was VERY happy. I was not tied down to any certain thing, leaveing me open to find a job that satisfied most of my multi-faceted Jenn. This subdued all my other personality traits because they were holding out for the next job...the one that would satisfy them.

Which leads us to here. This job. Which pretty much insults every side of my personality. The closest to being satisfied is the need-to-meet-people one, but even that one is constantly screaming...YOU ARE TEACHING THEM HOW TO USE A FREAKIN' COPY MACHINE!!!! There's no "meeting" in that! I DO however, have money, but those of you who know me realize having money has never been a driving per4sonality "voice". So, I guess I need to begin to contemplate my next job/career. And, better to do that while I have a job I guess...so I might be able to trick my inner self (selves?) into believing there squelching is temporary.

I know I "share" things people don't always think I should share. I do this for two reason...one, in case anyone ever has the same things happen to them, they don't go through them blind, like I did and two, in hopes someone can offer me a point-of-view or idea that might make my situation better. If anyone has any suggestions in satisfying the many "me"s, please write. Until then, I'll be at a copy machine near you.

I hope you all are doing well. Night

My how time flies!

I'm not just saying that because it's been two weeks since I've written, but because my favorite little girl is now almost a month old! (And I haven't seen her!) Isn't there something to be said for EVERYONE I know living in New Jersey?!?!?!?!? MOVE PEOPLE!!! ;) Kaitlyn, I love you and I'll get there soon! (I'm hoping for next weekend, but the between work and Trish's upcoming wedding...it's hard to find a free weekend.)

It's also been almost two full years since I moved home. (Super Bowl Weekend 2002) My how time flies. It still feels like just yesterday my life was together! :) (Yeah right...since when have I had a together life.) I must still be regressing, since last night I bought (and slept with) Thing 1 and Thing 2. Could someone please remind me what it was like to be an adult?!?!?! I still feel like I high schooler and I swear at one point I had a life which resembled one of an adult. I guess that happens when you live at home with no social life to speak of.

I had to take my car in on Friday. ;( About two or three weeks ago it developed a little squeak somewhere in the back seat that's driving me bananas. I can't find it...because I'm driving. I stopped by the dealer near us, took one of the service guys for a little drive through town, and he told me he can't find it and fix it (but he can hear it), so he's gonna have to trial and error test it. So, my poor little baby is going in the shop already! ;(

I can't really think of anything else that's going on with me. Mav is fine. Developing his fur for a cold winter. The Birds just beat the Giants. The Flyers are doin' alright. And that's about it for me, I guess. I hope you all are doing o.k. I'll write more later.