Pepto Commercial Song

Seeing as how my baking night was derailed by what I can only guess was a bout of food "discontent" from my suck-y lunch, I'll do this between trips to the littlest room in the house. From Meg - who will be the BEST mom! I'm so happy for you, Andy and little "S"

8 Shows I Watch: (most of these are now courtesy of Hulu.com)

1. 30 Rock
2. Bones
3. House
4. Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?
5. Clean House
6. Fox Football Pre-game Sunday with Terry, Jimmy, Michael and the other guy.
7. Army Wives
8. Monk

8 Favorite Restaurants:

1. Franco's (Aww...Meg...I miss 42nd Street and Ham's! Oh Chips and Ranch! I think I'm a tad homesick now)
2. Cheesecake Factory
3. Champp's
4. PF Chang's
5. Redstone (for Brunch. Yum!)
6. Does Chick-Fil-A count? I eat there a TON!
7. PJ's
8. And I'll have to say Ham's

8 Things That Happened to Me Today:

1. Apparently suck-y lunch and the aftermath
2. Got the filling for the cake I'm making for dinner tomorrow night done.
3. Delivered neighbors' Red Velvet mini-cakes for Christmas
4. Got a YellowTail Merlot from boss for Christmas
5. Was told by basketball coach he "approves" of my outfit. Which was better than the "You look spiffy" of the last two time I got dressed for games. (Have I mentioned I'm a little hesitant about where this is headed, if anywhere? I don't know if uncomfortable is the right word, maybe on edge)
6. Had an old handicapped woman BEEP at me because I was walking behind her car in the parking lot when she decided to back out. I ran to get out from behind her car, she saw me after she inched backward a little, then beeped at me and glared. Are ya kiddin' me?!?!? Merry Christmas, Idiot Woman. (see my spirit?)
7. Got to go through the express lane at the grocery store (where I got my suck-y lunch) in the cafe area, so no waiting - since I was buying mom bread for her neighbor gifts while picking up my lunch. (nope, won't mention it again)
8. Pinched nerve in my neck. That's what I get for constantly lifting full 6 gallon coolers and an inappropriate for Athletic Training cart! I might learn.

8 Things I Have to Look Forward to:

1. Presents. I vascilate between feeling VERY blessed that I have what I have and wanting stuff for me. I think it's because I'm bored, in a rut and trying to fill this empty space deep inside. Another part because I think I'm generally a good person - I try hard - and feel some "what about me?".
2. New Year's Day off. One of only two days this holiday I won't have to go to work. Actually, I won't have to go ANYWHERE. Yay me!
3. Kitties.
4. Dessert tomorrow. (PLEASE keep your fingers crossed it turns out. The filling is yummy - I sampled some while I was making it this morning - and I hope the cake follows suit.)
5. The possibility of a vacation (besides NATA) this summer.
6. Seeing old friends - work, high school, college
7.
8.

8 Things I Wish For:

1. Snow (if it's gonna be cold, it should snow!)
2. Prince Charming
3. Some peace of mind (which goes hand in hand with #2 and #4
4. To have kids
5. To get rid of the jealousy I feel often anymore
6. Some semblance of order in my house (I mean, it has been 2 years that I've lived here! You'd think I'd be able to find things, or set up my guest bedroom, or have gone through SOME of my g-parents stuff left behind)
7. Summer
8. At this moment, for my stomach to settle and feel better so I can fall asleep.

Play along if you'd like!!! Merry CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

Song by whomever those commercial people are. I feel like crap, so picking a song wasn't easy! :)

Blessed

Hi Strangers!

I know it's been awhile. Sorry. New job adjusting and I'm trying not to computer from bed b/c I think it gives me nightmares.

When I first moved into my new house, I was feeling stressed and down and not like it was my house at all. To combat some feelings of crap, I started a journal of writing down at least one thing every day I was thankful for (or reasons why I was blessed). Since it's a season of love and sharing, I thought I'd share some excerpts for you all.....(not in any specific order)

• Chocolate Coconut Cream Cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory
• Real Sudafed
• My cousin John (who comes rain or shine and takes out my trash and recycling every week)
• Miss Alabama hair
• The Salt Air
• Mini-golf
• Spending money like you've got it
• Miscommunication and sleeping so soundly 2 people are beating down the sides of your house to make sure you're o.k.
• Mimosas
• The people who love me and understand I'm not a morning person
• 4 year old birthdays, horse farms and Annapolis water
• My new 3 year old boyfriend ("I love her." "Who?" "The girl in the pink shirt")and being "part of the family"
• My family (who individually or collectively made the list every day for the 3 months I did it. Hey! 3 months is a LOOONG time for me!)

I decided to try it again and see how it goes. I know in this time and place I am lucky to have the things I have, the people I have and to be able to do what I do.

-Song by Martina McBride

Pleasant Valley Sunday

Here are some things I learned this weekend (I'm including Friday as "weekend"):

1. If really pressed, I would have trouble spending money. It reaffirms my feelings that I should win the lottery because all that money wouldn't spoil me! :)
   
2. When it rains, it pours. (kitchen sink clogged, fire alarm went off and door almost blew off the hinges and I was out of ice cubes all within 25 minutes)
3. If I put my mind to it, I can get things done. So, I could do it, I just don't want to! :)
   
4. No matter how much I think I'm getting accomplished, it doesn't look any different around here.
5. I AM in the Christmas spirit.
6. I'm becoming a bitter, "set in my ways" old woman!
7. I can totally lose time in a day watching t.v or turning on my home computer.
8. I am ready to be a "mom". Now I just have to go pick kittens out. (I'm already planning their names! :) )
   
9. Pictures reaffirm that college really is the best time of your life.
10. I am always thankful for the help around the house, but sometimes it would be better (read- less stressful) if I just did it myself.
11. It's December. (That's more for me than you guys. I just "realized" it is December and I'm pressed for time with mom's birthday present AND Christmas for mom and dad.)
12. It's really disappointing when you get all settled in to watch Miracle on 34th Street and it ends up being the stupid color version!
    
13. Sometimes you can pick up the phone and talk to a friend you haven't seen or talked to in awhile and pick up right where you left off.
14. Spending a day in your pajamas is AWESOME!
15. Palm trees always make me smile.
16. I am stubborn. I KNOW I am allergic to pine trees. I know they hurt my head and thank goodness I remembered ENOUGH to not buy inside pine, but I don't know why I thought the wreath I bought wouldn't bother me in the car on the way home. I do this quite often in my life and you'd think I'd remember it, but I don't
17. I like living in a cave. Funny, coming from someone who'd rather be in a sunny, warm state. Now that I bought my thick, thermal curtains my house is so nice and dark. Could for cocooning.
18. I'm selfish. I keep thinking "I want" and really believe I should have. I think my Christmas list could be 10 pages long this year!
19. I'm a snob. I'm trying so hard to let go at work, but I'm feeling like a Square Peg in round hole. (BTW, I LOVED that t.v. show!)
20. There is no joy in my job anymore. I just don't feel happy about going to work or being at work like I used to. I'm hoping this changes. I'm hoping it's just a growing pain and a result of being in a new place and change. I'm kind of secretly hoping it leads to joy in another aspect of my life. The "one door closes, another opens" mentality I guess.

-Song by The Monkees

In My Head

Sorry it's been awhile. I keep meaning to come on. I know, you hear it often. Soooo...time for rambling stuff from me!

• I've been thinking alot about random people. Erin pops into my head alot lately. Ben, my old roommates from Sr. yr. in college's friend who loved my Mav Man and used to tuck me in at night and play me music. It's strange. I keep thinking of the line from Alice In Wonderland "People come and go so quickly around here". Amen to that in MY head, sweetheart!
• I'm liking my job a little bit more. I am starting to get a better handle on the organizing of my space, but for some reason all AT skill seems to feel like it's filtered out of my head. I got a small victory yesterday when our QB came in with xrays that seemed to prove right what I'd been saying for 2 weeks prior. I'd even started to waiver and doubt. I still feel slightly like a stranger and some days go a whole day without a conversation with another person (besides my mother). It's a process, I know and I'm trying. I do have my doubts as to whether I'll ever fit in here. I just hope I can settle in to feeling good about the job switch soon.
  
• Along with random people, random moments pop into my head often before I go to sleep. Mostly embarassing or horrible moments - like in h.s. (9 or 10th grade) when I had jewelry stolen from swim practice. I can feel the feeling, the heat rushing to my face, the sinking feeling in my stomach like it was yesterday. Also moments like the guy rear-ending me two months ago, making up my own sign language night...I'm surprised I'm not dreaming yet of showing up in public naked or my teeth falling out. These at least are "symbols" I understand. Reliving bad events in my life aren't. I can't figure out why they pop into my head or how to make them stop. It's almost always as I am trying to fall asleep.
• If any Catholics are reading, could you please ask St. Anthony to make an appearance at my house? I'm missing a ring and I SWEAR I've looked everywhere. I keep having "blackout" moments in my memory. I simply can't remember certain steps of a day, week, etc. It's getting better than it was 2 months ago, when I lost my work keys (never found them, I think I threw them in the trash. I think this because when I got a new set, I almost threw THEM in the trash!), the above mentioned ring and a few other things I have no idea when I saw them last or what I did with them. That chunk of time is just gone. Maybe some divine intervention and I'm pretty sure no one up there listens to me. which begs the question why I keep talking? I guess I figure eventually they'll put two and two together and go "THAT'S what that noise was!"
• I decorated my house for Christmas and it always makes me feel more homey and cozy. I have to do the outside lights and I swear I'm missing a box of Christmas stuff, as the decor looks sparse. I know I'm missing a nativity (my mom calls it the economy version) and I'm pretty sure some ornaments.
  
• I have also bought a few presents, but other than what I have, have NO idea what to get for anyone. I'm not feeling like spending money or buying anyone anything this year. I'm not feeling generous toward the people I love. Is that wrong? My heart goes out to strangers, the unemployed, homeless, down-and-out lately (I watched that Secret Millionaire show on Hulu.com today and although I thought the millionaires at time looked like cheesy millionaires, I cried through alot of it.) but not anyone close (in proximity) or immediate family (mom, dad, sister). Thus making it hard to shop. I'm thinking about charity donations, but what fun are they to open on Christmas and would my family enjoy it or be disappointed (ultimately; not on the surface when you look like a horrible person if your Christmas present money was donated to charity and you are upset and crushed you didn't get a shiny new gift)?? And I feel bad because if I didn't have to work all holiday, I'm pretty sure my dad would have us all swept off to Bermuda because we'd all like to run away this year!
  
• How come when I look around the clutter in my house everything makes sense why it's where it is, but I never seem to fix it. For instance, I have two bags of clothes to give away to the Vets. They make sense why they're in the floor in my office, but why don't I ever call the vets and get them out of there? I mentally have everything neat and tidy, I just don't ever follow through. I need those Clean House people. Well, maybe not them. I want someone who will kick my "give away/keep/sell" butt in gear, as well as someone who can help me with the finishing touches on MY decorating.
• I think the 2-9pm schedule agrees with me, but lets see how long this last. I've been getting things done, I have energy at work, I'm losing weight b/c I'm bringin my dinners to work, so I'm eating less.
  
• I'm feeling sad. Not really sure why most of the time, just sad. lonely. and I keep comforting myself with Peppermint Latte. Luckily my weight is down from all the "taking dinners"or I'd be 1000 pounds right now. I wish I could find away to comfort myself through exercise.
  
• I'm back to thinking eHarmony is my only option. It makes me even sadder, spirals me into a "how the heck did I get here? Where did my future go? what kind of life is this when the only things you've ever wanted from life elude you?" and then I feel like a pathetic, unattractive, loser. This brings me to defiantly rebel against the eHarmony option, just prolonging the time I spend alone. I think I'd be o.k. if someone could SHUT OFF the stupid biological clock AND society (drs. included) who keep reminding me I'm not getting younger.
• Why didn't anyone warn me that in adulthood, I would not get zits, but big red lumps (I think they're the size of Texas, but I think really pea sized) that swell my face so I look like I was sucker punched then slowly "shrink" over what feels like years! I swear no one in days has seen my eyes because they are looking at the right side of my chin that's swollen with a big, red, shiny mountain on it. I think given the options I'd take the zits!
• I'm back on my meds, can you tell? I'm a different mood inside every 5 minutes. Isn't that fun?!?! The good part is, I only share them through writing or with my said loved ones from above. Otherwise, people must think I'm pretty even keel! :) I'm HOPING once I get used to them again, it'll all go away.
• Time for bed. Beware of the stupid people driving. They appear to be everywhere! Let's just make that stupid people! And they ARE everywhere. Peace Out Cub Scouts! :)
  

-Song by Kiss