Mayberry

Why can't life be simpler?

I'm yearning for the days of a simpler time and place. A time without so many choices, where people were helpful and you didn't have to be "afraid" of bad things.

I'm getting new windows. (No, not a tangent. Bear with me.) Apparently, while my old windows are in excellent shape, they have a slight flaw. During heavy rainstorms (ones that come quick, dump alot of rain and then are over...you know, the ones we've had pretty much all summer), water accumulates between the heavy glass and the screen. Since the screen sits up higher than the heavy glass, the water gushes in under the heavy glass, down the wall and all across the floor of my house. The only remedy I've found is to put the screens up and the glass down IF I remember and IF I'm home when the rain starts. Mom said I need new windows to prevent this from ruining my beautiful (?) hardwood floors.

So, I'm getting new windows. There is a place, which has been coming around door-to-door advertising, so I thought I'd try them first. I set up an estimate appointment for today, but evaded the "is there a spouse" question. I did tell them that although I owned the house and would be making a decision, I had someone who would help me in the decision making process. They were supposed to come at 10am. At 9am the phone rings and a woman went through confirming everything with me, double checking the address and again asking about other people. It's not that I'm embarrassed so much about a "spouse" and I hesitate to say "Yes, I'm a single female and here is my address.". Perhaps too much CSI or NCIS or Law and Order, but nonetheless... When I informed her I was the sole homeowner, but have "advisers" who would not be present at the estimate, they told me to cal and reschedule when they would be available and the information is too much for me to relay.

At first, I was thrilled. Back to bed for me, but as I crawled back into bed, something was nagging at me. I called my adviser (aka Mom). :) She was awake. She laughed, a little shocked that someone, some company would forgo a possible 3-4 window sale b/c I, the primary decision maker and one with all the power (if you like that sort of thing), would be the only one present. "Guess they really wanted the sale today." I still stand by my decision. I just hope it's not detrimental to my bank account!

I wonder why home improvements aren't like everything else. No one will give me a window estimate over the phone (I'll get to THAT in a minute) and gathering "estimates" requires an appointment, which companies don't want to do unless you are going to buy from them that day. I think I should have the right to "shop around" a bit, which should not be hindered by wanting to talk it over with someone. I can go into Macy's, Boscov's AND Sears in some places all within a short shopping mall walk to price shop for things, why not home improvements?

I was honest. I could've had them come out here, go through the schpeal for 2 hours and then sent them away without a sale, but I think it's rude to totally waste some one's time. Come out, give me a brief estimate, then let me think about it. No need to spend 2 hours trying to badger me into something. I'm telling you upfront I'm not buying today, so don't waste your time "pitching" to me. Just give me the information and let me process it. I do this with alot of things. Sometimes, such as cars and often times clothes - special occasion dresses, suits, etc. the processing is strictly emotional. You can tell me it's the best car in the whole world, but if I don't feel it, then I'm not gonna like it day after day after day driving it and why would I do that? With money, it's a weighing process - do I like or need it enough to spend the money? If so, who's got the best deal? And in a world of weirdos, do I really want 4 or 5 strangers to know I'm a single female who has the money to own their own home AND replace windows and here's my address, credit information (to buy the windows) and daily schedule (for "best time to come out")? Maybe a bit paranoid, I realize.

So, after my advisor got done laughing about the loss of the sale for the company that didn't like my evasiveness or "not-ready-to-commit-today" attitude, she launched into window research. I think I fell asleep for a few minutes. Windows are boring. Nothing exciting about getting to buy a new window. Not like a car, new furniture, paint colors, decor or clothes. Windows are boring. Not only are they boring, they are overwhelming. TONS of different kinds of windows and I could give a rat's hat about which ones go in the front of my house. I want something not expensive, good quality, with screens, that don't leak. Easy to clean would be nice, but let's be honest...I don't clean the ones I have often (I DO eventually get around to it, just not as often or as thoroughly as I should) so, should I care? It's not as if they're going to have bars, or be lively, Harry Potter-esque windows that move or disappear when I try to clean them.

What I don't want are options OR to feel like I'm being ripped off because I don't care. I want what I'm still looking for in a hair dresser, a professional. I defer to professionals. Have no problem with that. I can say "look, I don't know and you are the professional" but more and more often in society life doesn't work that way. People defer to drs. who misdiagnose b/c they are busy fulfilling their insurance required 10 patients a day. People who don't follow up, who aren't active in pursuing and pushing their drs when they believe something isn't right, even sometimes end up dead. My hairdresser never really liked "I don't know, I want it to look good, I don't want to look 12 and I want to be able to put it up for work". He wanted guidelines, pictures, a definite. I wanted a professional opinion, b/c I don't know styles, have NO clue what would work for my hair (obviously b/c I kept bringing in hairstyles and he would say "your hair is too thin for that") and face and didn't care all that much if it fit my criteria. The same goes for windows. Remember the days when you said "I need a new window with a screen" and the window guy said "o.k. here"? It wasn't "Well, do you want double hung? A full or half screen? Grilles? latches? EZ to clean? Vinyl or aluminum or wood?". You said window, they gave you window. There weren't choices. Not 800 things to pick from and people, "professionals" who didn't want to give their opinion because they were afraid you'd end up hating it, the company would replace the windows and fire them for wrongful inputting.

I miss the days I never lived in. Simpler times when decisions weren't hard, because choices weren't plentiful. Come to think of it, in those days, my grandfather just had is friend from "up the street" come help put in the windows. Someone he knew. Someone who wouldn't care if my grandmother was home b/c windows "could be tough and alot of information". (sigh) Those were the days.

-Song by Rascal Flatts

Summer of '69

I was SO looking forward to this summer.

I took a new job, I had more vacation, I didn't HAVE to work camps, I could ACTUALLY vacate NJ and relax. Before the summer started, I vowed to take more pictures. I wanted to photograph my life, remember things, share my freedom. As I sit on my couch, realizing my summer only has a mere 14 days left in it, I lament the optimism of my pre-summer self. I realize my only vacation, as has been the case for years before this one, was to our National Convention in June. There are only so many pictures you can take of your cats and your living room before people get bored. The occasional trip to the grocery store, or the bank before coming back home to nap don't constitute "freedom".

I long for a summer, like the one I pictured in May and there is sadness and grief - honest-to-goodness palpable grief - for the summer I imagined.

"And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone" -Song by Bryan Adams

Time

Thank GOODNESS football camp is over! I'm spent. I started thinking about vacation during a conversation with a colleague earlier this summer. I noticed alot of people on my Facebook going on vacation. Actually going somewhere - an island, to visit family, overseas, a week at the shore. It sounds marvelous. I realized there is a difference between "summer vacation" and "not going to work for 2 months". Due to the lack of paycheck for those 2 months, we often have to work over that time. I never really schedule and plan out a vacation so that often, my time off doesn't really feel like "vacation". It wouldn't be so frustrating if I knew there was time I could take off during the 10 months I DO work, but there really isn't that kind of time, nor do I get many days (3) to take.

I am not really sure WHERE my 2 months have gone! I can account for 3 weeks, but I know there was another 3 weeks in there somewhere. I looked around my house yesterday and realized I have totally neglected it over the last 3 or 4 weeks. The white trash decor is NOT befitting my house. Unfortunately, I'm not motivated ENOUGH to clean it thoroughly. I'd love to be able to come in at least once a month and really scrub and dust and clean. Especially the windows. I think my life has just totally overwhelmed me. I know I get this way when I'm tired and I AM tired. It always seems like there are 3 or 4 steps of "doing" involved before I can actually do what needs to be done. For example, the washer on the spigot of my sink disintegrated, causing water to spray all over when I turn it on. I have been to Home Depot 2 times, but can't seem to get it right. The first time I figured "how hard could it be to find a washer?". I bought a new aerator and a washer, but it didn't fit. So, I took the aerator out of my sink and took it with me the second time. It still wasn't enough. We couldn't find an aerator that matched the one I have and they told me to bring back the male or female part of my sink so I can find a washer that's the right width. All this so I can WASH THE DISHES in my sink! Each step has been jumping hurdles to get one thing done.

I had one goal for this summer and it was to get the upstairs bedroom converted into a bedroom. I have a bed (frame, no head or foot board), sheets, blanket and pillows. I have the room finally painted and most of the stuff off the floor and out of the room. Now, I need to buy new carpet remnants and re-lay the carpet upstairs. 3 weeks seems like plenty of time, but I quick look at the schedule is not promising - tomorrow checking out rest. spaces for our alumni party next summer, tues/wed. visiting old Lenape friends in OCNJ and the last week is "birthday week", so I know I'll be busy. My friend Kate had a baby ONE MONTH ago and I haven't gotten over there to see her yet.

I feel like I'm constantly busy, but things keep not getting done and more and more things are falling to the wayside. How does this HAPPEN?!?!?! I'm off to wade through the mess that is my house. Gonna start slowly I guess, vacuum, straighten, go through mail, etc. It IS Sunday, the day of rest and I'm gonna try and do some of that too.

-Song by Pink Floyd

Sleep Through The Static

Being sick sucks! Alright, so I'm technically sick, but I don't think of myself as "sick" which makes it worse. During the first week of my Summer Vacation I was asked to golf in a tournament at the course behind my parents house, where I grew up. You think I'd remember to SPRAY with bug spray. I did not. I remembered the sunscreen before we started but no Off. The Tick that got me (I call it le tick) was barely recognizable from a freckle and hid just out of my sightline, under a breast, where it hung on for 2 days before I found him. The day I was leaving for our National Convention, I spied le tick and knew, right then, I was destined to be a Lyme-y. A week went by and the spot of le tick's last stand was red and about the size of a nickel. It was Friday and I was headed to work a 3 day lacrosse camp, so I called the doc and made an appointment for Monday. I thought maybe the bite site was infected, as it was just red, no bullseye appearance. In what should've been a lesson learned, by the end of 6 hours outside (and mostly under a tent) Friday I had a pretty good bullseye rash the size of half my fist. At the end of the weekend, it had doubled in size and was terribly painful to touch.

I consider myself lucky. For many Lyme's sufferers, they don't know they were tick bit and spend months or years trying to diagnose the symptoms. I had no symptoms other than a ginormous 9cm by 4cm rash on my left torso. I took the lesser antibiotic, knowing I had two weeks of outdoor camp coming up and with no other symptoms, this felt like the right thing to keep me as close to normal as possible. 1 week after visiting the doc (on a Saturday - 4th of July, of course) I was fevered, skin hurt to touch, even clothes and sheets, I was dizzy, nauseous and headachey. I crawled into bed and emerged two days later. I called the doc who switched me to 2 weeks of the stronger antibiotic and usual course of treatment of Lyme's.

Turns out "People with Lyme's Disease should stay out of the sun" is more than a suggestion. I tried real hard this week while working football camp to follow the advice given by my doctor. She told me the new antibiotic would make me skin sensitive and I should wear lots of sunscreen to avoid a rash or intense burning. I wore lots of sunscreen (even re-applied, check me out! :) ) and stayed in the shade under the tent as often as possible, but it didn't help. Slowly over the course of the week, the fever returned, headaches have increased and I have tranisent tingling and numbness in my hands and feet. (For 3 days I thought it was the air conditioning, as it only started when I was OUT of the sun in the a/c.)

All of this is why, yours truly is sitting in bed at 8:30 on a Friday night exhausted, just trying to hang on until I can take all my meds and go to sleep! (I have to wait 2 hours after eating to take the antibiotic and then sit upright for 30 minutes after taking it.) No rest for the weary, as I am working a Farmer's Market at some ungodly hour tomorrow morning and the second week of camp begins Monday. I'm just counting down the days! My biggest hope is that after this week of antibiotics and camp, I am feeling somewhat close to normal, so I can enjoy the remaining 2 weeks of my vacation before starting the 10-month whirlwind that is my job. :)

Happy Friday from me and le tick.

-Song by Jack Johnson

Hello Muddah ( A Letter From Camp)

Well, I'm about to retire for the night because I agreed to work a football camp for the next two weeks. I'm totally mad at myself. When I took the new job in November, I said "No camps. This year I'm gonna have a relax and REAL summer vacation.". I could eek by, so I didn't HAVE to do them and I really was feeling jealous of all the people I knew who were taking wonderful trips to fabulous places. So, what happened?

These things, in order:

• My friend Jeff, a former football coach at Lenape called. He was the Director of a camp. It was his first year. He wanted someone he could trust to work with him. 9-3, no contact middle school kids. $500/week. Please. As a favor.
• Panic about whether or not I was really as together financially as I thought
• My computer died. I wanted a new couch. Need to get the upstairs bedroom re-done.
• It's only 2 weeks.

So far, the camp has been a nightmare and it hasn't even started yet. 5 forms to be filled out, a 30 min conference call that turned into 1 hour and 15 minutes and made me want to bag my head on a wall, and an additional 1 hour of work added to each day EXCEPT Mondays when we add an additional 2 hours! If I hadn't felt bad about potentially screwing over Jeff AND it being 2 weeks before the camp started, I woulda been sitting pretty vacating these next two weeks. Instead, for my paltry $15/hour (what it breaks down to with the added time. A far cry from the going ATC rate of $25-$50 per hour) , I will be slaving and miserable. I know, I know, I need a better attitude, but so far the dealings with this pro company who are using our local pro sports team's name (they do a number of NFL camps) have left nothing but stress in my stomach and a rotten taste in my mouth. I am counting down the days.

It doesn't help that I am working mushroom sales for Trish at the Farmers Market in the middle (which I usually love, but is an early morning sandwiched in the h*ll that is this football camp), so I know it's gonna be a busy two week stretch. I am also a little upset that my summer is almost over and I have no new couch, no upstairs guest room (although I painted the ceiling today, so I'm getting closer) and no one to go on a real vacation with (oh, my sister? She's going to Scotland with our "cousin" Timmy for her vacation after complaining to me she didn't have money or time for vacations.). Looks like I'll be starting my pre-season the same way I started the LAST one, which is not contributing greatly to my mental health.

I need a change. I need an escape. My girlfriends are going to a Lake House owned by parents of one of them after the FB camp ends for good. I'm planning on going, but the 4 hour drive each way for 1 1/2 days makes me "eh" too. I know the saying is "life's a journey, not a destination" but I totally disagree where vacations are concerned. The only thing that MAKES the ride worthy is the destination! When I started the Spring I had grand plans of visiting 1) my college friend (Hi Aim) in Annapolis 2) a plethora of friends in North Carolina and 3) my old roommate and his wife in Maine. Not to mention the great "new" destination place I was going to - Ireland or Scotland, an island somewhere or maybe just somewhere kinda local for an overnight. After these jam-packed two weeks I am down to ONLY two weeks left of my summer. Where did the time go?!?!? I want to go the shore (even for a day!). I need to finish the upstairs room. I have to stop in work at least 2 more times and get paperwork in order for the first day (not to mention my inventory, but that's not TERRIBLY crucial I guess). And I am down to TWO WEEKS. TWO WEEKS! Can you feel the stress? The agitation? The annoyance? The Ugh?!?!?!?

I keep telling myself I really should use the 5 comp days I am given this year. I really need to use at least a personal day, but I know the sad reality of being a lone Athletic Trainer is once the season starts I become a 6 day a week employee for a full 10-months. No vacations, no days off, no breaks, no free Saturdays (although I'm trying to finagle one to get to a party in Annapolis) until next summer. When I SWEAR I'm gonna vacate. I'm gonna visit friends, go somewhere new, maybe an island....

-Song by Allan Sherman

Rotten Apples

Hey Ya'll! It's been awhile. As you can see from yesterday's post, I did a guest article for Jess on her Dawg blog and loved it! I forgot how much I love writing on here (especially when I have something to say ) and am going to try and post something every day...at least til summer ends August 17th. It's all I can successfully promise! :)

I wanted to spruce up my blog, since it's boring and basic. Blogs have come a long way since I started writing mine years ago and I wanted to change with the times. Maybe get a little more "personal" with my site and a little more "professional" with my writing. I spent an hour or so yesterday playing around with layouts only to be frustrated and annoyed. Nothing worked like it was supposed to and I don't know how to make it work.

For once, I don't think I can blame my Mac. I've been technologically flustrated (flustered and frustrated) alot since I got the new Mac. I have been a PC user since I ever OWNED a computer circa 1990. When I got the Mac, the first thing that rushed into my brain was my 7th grade computer class with the open and closed apple. Apparently, technology has advanced since 1988 and no more are there open and closed apple commands.

I took a friend (Hi AJ)'s advice and watched some apple.com tutorials. Wha...Who..Wha? I'm not even sure what they said and my mind was reeling. Always had the same feeling in math class! :) For as much as I HATE being talked "down" to (I am NOT an idiot, YES I turned it on and YES it's plugged in!) I would've loved a "turn on the computer and let's walk you through the pictures (Dock) at the bottom". Or like the overenthusiastic Apple geeks that sold me the machine "See? If you click here, and get this you can do X,Y,Z". VERY helpful. Things like "if you are using files in the 'cloud' and not saving them locally you're an idiot" are NOT helpful. I hear (or read, in this case) NOTHING after that because I'm trying to figure out what's the cloud. Did I miss it? Do they mean the Internet? Cyberspace? Is there some icon I haven't found? Some hardrive space I should know about? If I lose files in this cloud, how will I find them? If I put too many files in the cloud, does it rain?

I managed to find my way to my free "geek magazine" (as I fondly call it, other normal people may refer to it as MacWorld magazine) subscription. This I enjoy. I pretty much skip the articles because sentences like "You too can be a Mac genius. Troubleshooting isn't magic. It's a skill that any experienced Mac user can cultivate" doesn't come CLOSE to understanding my PC brain challenges. :) I like the Mac Gems. It tells me new things I can download to my Mac to do things I didn't know I can do with a Mac. Things I may or may not already be able to do on here and I can't find them. (I think the cloud eats them.) I am glad I didn't skip over the "Genius Bar" sidebar article because it was WONDERFUL! It told me I could take my Mac to a Genius and have them fix it! I have to make an appointment, but honestly, this is my kind of article. PLUS I figured I was a Genius for reading it! :) ;)

I try hard, but all in all, my brain reacts to "computer geek" the same way it reacts to anything more complicated than addition. Because I AM a Genius AND Jenn experienced, I know better than to think I can overcome this feeling of my brain swirling down a psychedelic black hole and need an alternative plan. I HATE feeling incompetent but I also hate feeling like I'm using a fabulous fancy expensive machine and only doing 1 stupid, basic thing on it. I want to explore it's potential (before the cloud makes it rain. I hope it thunders and lightnings as some warning before the rain starts. Wouldn't want to get wet.) use it as Jobs intended. Right now I can play my iTunes, get to Facebook and Open Office has been a godsend! Command N rocks!!! As does learning how to set my touch pad to "right click" AND the little ridged right corner to make my pages the size of my screen! Rocks!

I think my Mac doesn't like me as much as I'm frustrated by it. It takes forever to "load" things on a website. Just sits there going "Really Lady? Another freakin' Facebook quiz? I do SO MUCH more than that! I'm dragging my feet so maybe you'll play around while you're waiting for me and figure out something better to do!". When I was debating buying the Mac, I LOVED the enlarging and shrinking windows with your fingers or scrolling with two fingers running along the touch pad! So Cool! Like a lover scorned, but Mac refuses to respond to my touch, leaving me to scroll while depressing the keys along the sidebar and just re-starting pages altogether when they suddenly shrink in font!

I'm still hoping to be creative. To feel inspired by my Mac to do something great. To figure out what all these freakin' Icons do. Instead I feel stymied by the PC brain running my MacBook. Since the bar on my Blogger page with which I'm supposed to be able to find the template I have downloaded on my computer and upload it to my blog, is missing on my page, I am left trying to figure if it's me, them or us (the cloud and I). I have a vision for a Blogger page design and feel "I am using a Mac. Shouldn't I be able to whip up some HTML or CSS code (whatever that is) and crank out a new Blogger layout no problem?". Synapses being what they are and cellular memory being unproven, I have not yet whipped out a new layout (as you can tell), nor have I grasped this "cloud" thing. So for now, Facebook, email and iTunes prevail. My Blog remains personally written and aesthetically boring. Until I can attend a "free" clinic at the Apple store, rotten apples to you all! :)

-Song by Alice In Chains

Hey Bulldog!

(My guest article from www.dawgdiaries.com)

I was getting too rigid, codgery even. Too set in my ways and closed off to anything that changed my lifestyle. So who knows why, when my phone rang that Saturday morning at 9am to ask if I could take in two bulldogs for 10 days while they recovered from kennel cough, I said yes. Kennel cough is contagious in dogs and all the Foster homes of the Heaven Sent Bulldog Rescue owned dogs. I supported the rescue, gave money, showed up at events, but owned two cats...zero dogs. I was perfect for nursing these dogs back to health. Sure, I said, bring 'em over. I can do anything for 10 days. Little did I know those 10 days would change my life.

One of the first questions people ask when I tell them I was a “foster mom” was a question I often asked about fostering “How can you just take a dog in and not get attached to them?” I have to admit, it was difficult and I DID grow attached. When taking in a Foster dog, ask yourself a few questions:

1) “Am I in a position to keep this dog?” I knew I was not. I am not home often, my

schedule fluctuates and changes so much that a dog would be locked in a house alone a

lot. Not an idea situation for the dog long-term.

2) “What is the best situation for the dog?” I knew that if I didn't take in these two sick

dogs, they were going to be sitting in a run/kennel at a breeders. Though not ideal, my

one large sitting room, ineptness at owning a dog and 7-8 hours alone a day were a

better situation than what they currently had. I knew if I could get them healthy and

assess their temperament we could find them the PERFECT home where they could

thrive and be loved.

Answering these two questions allowed me to put the dogs in perspective before they entered my house. They were not mine. They belonged to someone else. I felt like their babysitter. I played with them, fed them, made sure they went potty, put them to bed and yes, fell in love with them, but I knew there would come a time when the “parents” would come home and I would hand them back over, happy and healthy.

“I was thinking of owning a dog, maybe I should foster one and “test out” owning a dog?” Most dogs given up to a shelter or rescue were given up for a reason. While it's true some reasons include the economy, allergies or a new baby, other reason include biting, inability to get along with other pets or humans and abuse. For these reasons, sometimes fostering a dog can be extremely stressful and emotional to the owner. I had a few nights in tears and some nights picking up the pieces of things destroyed or chewed. No one knows what a foster dog is going to bring. Each dog has a different temperament and using one as a “test” is not fair to you or the dog.

“Will I be on my own to care for the dog?” Yes and no. Having not owned a dog in any double digit years of my life, I was pretty clueless. Luckily, the Rescue worker who came over with the dogs was a godsend! Most rescue groups and shelters will have people you can contact with questions, problems or issues should they arise. The rescue group set up dr. appointments and took care of getting me supplies (dog dish, beds, leashes, etc), food and the medications the dogs needed. I ran into lots of novice dog owner questions and the rescue workers were always available to help me out.

"What is the time frame on Fostering a dog? Most times when you foster a dog, the agreement is to keep the dog until it is adopted. This could mean 2 weeks or 2 years. My case was special, as I was an “emergency” home. As that was, my 10 days turned into 1 month and my two dogs DID leave my home for their new permanent home. Remember this when taking on the responsibility of fostering a dog. You are signing on for the duration of the dogs “life in limbo”.

As the end date of my reign as Foster Mom approached, I wondered “Are these poor dogs gonna feel abandoned by me when they are adopted?” A woman VERY involved in the bulldog rescue said no. They're gonna wonder how much better life can get! I have to admit I was a little sad when the Rescue worker came to pick up my two and they trotted away happy as could be without even a look back at me. I had to think back and remember the almost lethargic, phlegmy four-legged creatures who straggled in to my home one month before. They had come so far and they were headed to a home where they would be loved and spoiled beyond belief.

“Sounds great! What do I need to do to be a Foster parent to a dog?” If you have a group that is dear to your heart, contact the local rescue. Foster homes are in such high demand and most good ones are near capacity of animals. If you aren't picky about breed (or even animal, I know this is a Dawg site, but kitties need fostering too), contact your local animal shelter. Most will require an application to be filled out and possibly a vet reference. Some groups do “site visits” to make sure your home will be perfect for the dog you are fostering.

A MAJOR point to remember about fostering dogs...It's Not About You. This was definitely the attitude I had when taking the dogs after that 9am phone call. “Bring the poor babies to me. I can help them.” I felt a little inadequate I didn't have the perfect doggie house for them. They deserved more. It was all about them. After 4 days (yes, only 4, but they were looong days), I flung myself onto the floor crying because I was tired of cleaning up pee and poop off my hardwood floors, of eating dinner at 9pm, of more “them” than “me” time - I was tired. One of the dogs trotted right over, laid down next to me resting his big head on my back lovingly. I then remembered. It was not about me. It was about them. I picked up my Nature's Miracle bottle (Um, I loved the stuff so much I kept it for spot cleaning my floors even though the dogs are gone!) and my paper towels and off I went. The trials and tribulations got easier for me to deal with (and there were plenty) and funny thing, I adjusted. Maybe I'm even flexible and no one would come close to calling me a codger now! :) I realized I CAN do anything and am a lot more easygoing now than before. I still think of the two bulldogs I fostered and a few others I've helped in various ways. I learned I have a lot to give, am blessed to be able to share what I

have and am open to anything that my come my way. My whole outlook on life has changed and I have those first two bullies to thank! They will always hold a place in my heart and I suspect I have room in that place for a few others down the line. I hope you will too.

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

I SO needed this snow day. Even though my new job isn't all that difficult compared to where I came from, working 6 days a week takes a toll on your mental health.

Speaking of working taking a toll on mental health, someone (who shall remain nameless even though it probably isn't a secret) very close to me quit her job today. The last straw was flung over the camel today and she wrote out her letter, braved the snow to go to work (where she was apparently expected to be, even though everything in SJ was closed today), cleaned out her stuff and turned in her letter. She feels lighter, but PLEASE pray that she find a new job quickly. It's tough being unemployed in this economy (especially of your own doing). She would be great at doing anything, but I hope she find something she likes that will contribute to her family. I'd hate to see her quit and then be MORE stressed because of money worry.

I, too have been thinking about what else to do with my life. I have my mornings free, which would allow me to take classes or even teach classes at a community college should I want to (or if I can). I think I need something BESIDES work in my life.

Alright, off to bed. Gotta clean it off first since I did a TON of laundry and some of it is still on my bed. Gotta finish cleaning the bathroom in the morning before my short day of work.

-Song By Enough people to make me listen to Christmas music starting in October!

My Funny Valentine

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY - Love, Jenn (not shown), George (on the right) and Gracie (on the left)

Taps

For Marine Julian Brennan who died in Afghanistan Friday January 23rd, 2009.

(Taken from the Arlington National Cemetery - where Julian will be buried- website)

The Hero

The angel hovered just above-
The lifeless form below-
A life that started with a cry-
Not many years ago.

Come now my son, you must arise-
Your work here now is ended-
You have fought for right and freedom-
Your country you have defended.

We go now to another place-
Where peace and love abide-
And join your comrades who will greet you-
In your heavenly home on high.

All those you love, and those who love you-
In their hearts you will forever be-
The one who gave his very all-
That the living may be free.

Hail To The Chief

Just a Quick post (since I have to leave for work soon) to say I'm scared and want to hope. I am afraid of what we just swore in to lead our country. I want to believe him. I want to believe in the betterment of the state of our great nation. I want to believe things will get better for so many in despair. I want to believe that this can be done without make my life worse (higher taxes for middle class, forcing me to pay for "programs" I don't support, etc.). I want to see the good "change" the blind followers feel and see. I want to believe we can rise to the "Great" country we once were, both in our eyes and that of other countries (even if it was fear in their eyes).I want to not think back to the many who followed Hitler believing. I want to not worry about the Big Brother syndrome of little by little changes that result in many blind followers and a huge change in the world from the top down. I want to ignore history and believe - or at least believe things won't get worse. I want to believe, but I can't. And I'm afraid. And I'm sad. And I'm praying. LOTS of praying.

- Song by -not sure who wrote it, but I love the lyrics from My Fellow Americans. :)