Things I Am Thankful For:
* My job (co-workers, bosses, athletes, coaches and just the fact I enjoy it)
* Family
* That Little Man adopted me as his sleeping favorite
* Having a roof over my head
* Having money in the bank
* My hair (yep. I said it. I like my hair.)
* Food (What a great time of year to love food!)
* Sports (what would life be without sports?!?!? Hey, wasn’t that a ESPN commercial! ? )
* My Brain, no matter how adle it might be, I still have one in there.
* Babies (they give you hope)
* Friends (No, you guys aren’t really low on the list over all, I just put you down here because you live so far away I forget to be thankful often. ? )
* Did I say Food already? Food like Turkey, Stuffing, Sweet Potatoes (if I don’t char the marshmallows, like I do every year.), Cranberry Sauce…yum!
* Fall. What a beautiful fall Thanksgiving Day!
* Summer.
* (Nope, I’m not thankful for Winter. It’s necessary, but I don’t have to like it!)
* My job. I know I said that, but it makes me so happy! ?
I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Better Late Than Never
Hey Everyone!
Earlier this year my Dad was honored for his military service by Burlington County. Every year (maybe twice a year) our County honors all veterans in a medal ceremony. This year my Dad finally submitted the form (why he didn't let us do it for him who knows).
The ceremony was lovely. It was in the Auditorium of a technical school in our county. Some veterans, mostly WWII vets, were in uniform, vests, hats with pins, handcrafted shirts, etc. Others were dressed in nice polo shirts and dress pants (Dad fits in this category because "I couldn't get one leg into my uniform now.".)The veterans were in the center, family and friends were scattered on the side sections (2 people per honoree). My sister and I sat across the aisle from Dad as we recited the Pledge of Allegiance with our Freeholder's young daughter, stood for the National Anthem and listened as they announced Dad's name.
The veterans were not in any special order and were told they would be walking to the front by row as names were being read alphabetically. Do NOT wait for your name to be read, go to the front with your row. Jill and I were especially glad for this because it meant everything went extrememly fast!
The event was "Emcee"d by a former Army Drill Sergeant, so what did we expect! :)
Jill and I were so moved by the speech our Freeholder gave, the overwhelming gratitude of all the Political and Military people and more often the pride for our father and the realization that pride of and gratitude for his service was something he was not used to outside of our family. Dad did extremely well. He said he did tear up when our Freeholder leaned forward to put the medal around his neck, kissed his cheek and thanked him for his service.
Mom and I had orchestrated a little surprise party for Dad at his golf course following the ceremony. (We had to stop at the farm across from my work on the way home to "pick pumpkins" to carve for Halloween to kill time! :) ) We invited my grandparents (my mom's parents as Dad's are no longer living), my mom's brother and his family, our neighbors on the right (the neighbors on the left, the husband is an Air Force pilot, were in NC at a college reunion), Dad's golf foresome and his twin brother, my Uncle Eddie who was also in Vietnam and his wife.
We made Dad a picture book of all the pictures we could find at the time (we forgot most of the things they sent home were slides), medals, pins (regiment, company and the like), flags and some letters my grandmother had kept from both my Dad and My Uncle Eddie. Mostly, we all enjoyed comparing the current day Dad to the handsome young man of 20-21 years old of yore.
The Handsome young man on the Right in this picture is my Father the day he got his Sergeant stripes. I believe this was while he was in Vietnam.
He has since registered with his outfit (Sorry Veterans, I can never keep straight Unit, Company, Regiment, etc. and what goes where) for their Alumni newsletter. As more and more years pass, stories of his Tour leak out more and more. We are hoping to hear most of them as the years go on, so they will not go untold and become lost as so many do.
Happy Medal Day, Dad! You deserve it!
Earlier this year my Dad was honored for his military service by Burlington County. Every year (maybe twice a year) our County honors all veterans in a medal ceremony. This year my Dad finally submitted the form (why he didn't let us do it for him who knows).
The ceremony was lovely. It was in the Auditorium of a technical school in our county. Some veterans, mostly WWII vets, were in uniform, vests, hats with pins, handcrafted shirts, etc. Others were dressed in nice polo shirts and dress pants (Dad fits in this category because "I couldn't get one leg into my uniform now.".)The veterans were in the center, family and friends were scattered on the side sections (2 people per honoree). My sister and I sat across the aisle from Dad as we recited the Pledge of Allegiance with our Freeholder's young daughter, stood for the National Anthem and listened as they announced Dad's name.
The veterans were not in any special order and were told they would be walking to the front by row as names were being read alphabetically. Do NOT wait for your name to be read, go to the front with your row. Jill and I were especially glad for this because it meant everything went extrememly fast!
The event was "Emcee"d by a former Army Drill Sergeant, so what did we expect! :)
Jill and I were so moved by the speech our Freeholder gave, the overwhelming gratitude of all the Political and Military people and more often the pride for our father and the realization that pride of and gratitude for his service was something he was not used to outside of our family. Dad did extremely well. He said he did tear up when our Freeholder leaned forward to put the medal around his neck, kissed his cheek and thanked him for his service.
Mom and I had orchestrated a little surprise party for Dad at his golf course following the ceremony. (We had to stop at the farm across from my work on the way home to "pick pumpkins" to carve for Halloween to kill time! :) ) We invited my grandparents (my mom's parents as Dad's are no longer living), my mom's brother and his family, our neighbors on the right (the neighbors on the left, the husband is an Air Force pilot, were in NC at a college reunion), Dad's golf foresome and his twin brother, my Uncle Eddie who was also in Vietnam and his wife.
We made Dad a picture book of all the pictures we could find at the time (we forgot most of the things they sent home were slides), medals, pins (regiment, company and the like), flags and some letters my grandmother had kept from both my Dad and My Uncle Eddie. Mostly, we all enjoyed comparing the current day Dad to the handsome young man of 20-21 years old of yore.
The Handsome young man on the Right in this picture is my Father the day he got his Sergeant stripes. I believe this was while he was in Vietnam.
He has since registered with his outfit (Sorry Veterans, I can never keep straight Unit, Company, Regiment, etc. and what goes where) for their Alumni newsletter. As more and more years pass, stories of his Tour leak out more and more. We are hoping to hear most of them as the years go on, so they will not go untold and become lost as so many do.
Happy Medal Day, Dad! You deserve it!
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
The Lost Blogs
In an attempt to begin the New Year as a "clean slate", I'll be posting all the blogs I have written or thought about in the last month or so and have not written. Some will be old, issues resolved, but I thought you'd all enjoy them.
***************************************************************************
(12/14/05)
After two days which centered around weight, hydration and body fat, I broke down today and hopped on the scale we have at work. Apparently, I’ve found my optimistic self. For the last two days I’ve been writing numbers on wrestling hydration forms such as 5.4, 7.6 and 9.5. So, I thought, even though I’m fat and ever upwardly moving through the Misses section sizes, maybe I’m not as fat as I thought. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.
I wasn’t. Matter of fact, I became a little depressed. I know I have tons of muscle under there somewhere! My overall body mass didn’t seem TOO bad (and according to www.cdc.gov I’m teetering on the high end of normal, which I probably could have told them), but the Body Fat % was enough to make me never eat again! (Well, perhaps. I am feeling a tad hungry and wonder if I might comfort myself with some mac and cheese.) Is it bad when a 275 pound football player who's using wrestling to get himself down to a healthy weight has the same body fat % as I do? He is shorter than me and women are supposed to have a higher body fat, I realize...but really?!?!?!?
I remember one point in my life when I had the body fat a little higher than that of an elite female athlete. Granted I was barely eating, running every day and everyone told me I was too thin. I remember thinking for all the crap I’m feeling the positive is I look hot! Apparently guys thought so too…imagine that. The scale told me today to kiss those memories goodbye, as I was almost twice the body fat I was back then.
Convinced that working out 3 days a week and just the physical-ness of my job should be enough activity to lose weight, given what I normally eat, I went on an internet hunt for reasons. I know I do not have a thyroid problem, as I had it tested in August. I wonder about my medications, though. Did you know some anti-histamines cause weight gain? They apparently create a sweet craving that increases caloric intake. I think everyone in America knows Birth Control causes weight gain, even though “they” keep saying it does not. So, I’m more convinced than every to give up my drugs for good. I am thinking about seeing my doctor about changing my anti-histamine back to one I took previously and didn’t gain weight. I am also thinking of going off the Birth Control. It’s a scary proposition because I remember the pain I had prior to my April 2000 surgery and can’t fathom going back to that just because I’m vain and fat. However, I’m not sure the Birth Control is really helping to stave off the endometriosis anyway, so why am I taking it for 63 days in a row if it’s really not helping? But what if it IS helping and I just go off it so I can lose 15 pounds? Then what? I’m confused and lost and don’t feel my doctor is comforting and supportive of some of my questions. I’m beginning to feel like a pain in her *ss and the patient/hypochondriac who always thinks something is wrong with her when there is nothing really wrong. (yes, I’m back to the “am I a wuss imagining things or should I push harder to figure out what is wrong” thing.)
So, 2006 may be bringing a whole new me. And maybe if I stuff a few cookies in the optimistic me, I won’t EVER be tempted to get on that stupid body fat scale again! ?
***************************************************************************
(12/14/05)
After two days which centered around weight, hydration and body fat, I broke down today and hopped on the scale we have at work. Apparently, I’ve found my optimistic self. For the last two days I’ve been writing numbers on wrestling hydration forms such as 5.4, 7.6 and 9.5. So, I thought, even though I’m fat and ever upwardly moving through the Misses section sizes, maybe I’m not as fat as I thought. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.
I wasn’t. Matter of fact, I became a little depressed. I know I have tons of muscle under there somewhere! My overall body mass didn’t seem TOO bad (and according to www.cdc.gov I’m teetering on the high end of normal, which I probably could have told them), but the Body Fat % was enough to make me never eat again! (Well, perhaps. I am feeling a tad hungry and wonder if I might comfort myself with some mac and cheese.) Is it bad when a 275 pound football player who's using wrestling to get himself down to a healthy weight has the same body fat % as I do? He is shorter than me and women are supposed to have a higher body fat, I realize...but really?!?!?!?
I remember one point in my life when I had the body fat a little higher than that of an elite female athlete. Granted I was barely eating, running every day and everyone told me I was too thin. I remember thinking for all the crap I’m feeling the positive is I look hot! Apparently guys thought so too…imagine that. The scale told me today to kiss those memories goodbye, as I was almost twice the body fat I was back then.
Convinced that working out 3 days a week and just the physical-ness of my job should be enough activity to lose weight, given what I normally eat, I went on an internet hunt for reasons. I know I do not have a thyroid problem, as I had it tested in August. I wonder about my medications, though. Did you know some anti-histamines cause weight gain? They apparently create a sweet craving that increases caloric intake. I think everyone in America knows Birth Control causes weight gain, even though “they” keep saying it does not. So, I’m more convinced than every to give up my drugs for good. I am thinking about seeing my doctor about changing my anti-histamine back to one I took previously and didn’t gain weight. I am also thinking of going off the Birth Control. It’s a scary proposition because I remember the pain I had prior to my April 2000 surgery and can’t fathom going back to that just because I’m vain and fat. However, I’m not sure the Birth Control is really helping to stave off the endometriosis anyway, so why am I taking it for 63 days in a row if it’s really not helping? But what if it IS helping and I just go off it so I can lose 15 pounds? Then what? I’m confused and lost and don’t feel my doctor is comforting and supportive of some of my questions. I’m beginning to feel like a pain in her *ss and the patient/hypochondriac who always thinks something is wrong with her when there is nothing really wrong. (yes, I’m back to the “am I a wuss imagining things or should I push harder to figure out what is wrong” thing.)
So, 2006 may be bringing a whole new me. And maybe if I stuff a few cookies in the optimistic me, I won’t EVER be tempted to get on that stupid body fat scale again! ?
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Twas Sunday Before Christmas
Happy Holidays Everyone! Today we are baking cookies, listening to carols (until my grandfather gets here and saves us...I mean, changes to football games) and spending the day doing mom's Christmas projects (like making a tree skirt). I hope your pre-holiday weekend is going well! 7 more shopping days until Christmas! :)
Friday, December 09, 2005
SNOW DAY! SNOW DAY!
Well, we didn't get much snow, just a whole lot of ice and sleet and slush, but anytime the phone rings at 4:30am and the voice on the other end tells me that school is closed, well, I'm happy!
Here’s a Stream Of Consciousness I’ve been accumulating over the last few days. (Notice how one topic ties in somehow with the next? I’m like that girl from Ferris Bueller lately! “Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.”)
• The hips I thought were a fairly new revelation, apparently are not. Aim posted a picture on her site that shows I’ve had hips for years. It’s funny. In my head, my body is similar to that of Naomi Watts. This makes it ultimately disappointing when I try on clothes/outfits which would look great on her/me, only to look in the mirror and see a hippy, chubby, not-so-tall looking person staring back. (Not to mention the outfit doesn’t look all that great on someone who doesn’t look like Naomi Watts.)
• I have read all the links on Sgt Ron Long’s website (www.278medic.blogspot.com) and all the subject matter is so “adult” compared to the link to my site involving large hips, single-dom, whiney injured high-schoolers and my friends and family. Well, maybe I fall in line more with the Sixth Avenue Skatepark side of life and less with the FOX News side.
• Speaking of Sgt. Long’s site, how fun is Christmas around children?!?!? It really does just bring all the magic of the holidays back watching it through the eyes of a child. Watching them get all excited about Santa coming, decorating, baking cookies and then Christmas morning watching them tear into their gifts that “Santa” left!
• Christmas shopping is more fun if you know what you want to get people. While the “not knowing” definitely means I get to be out in the Christmas-y atmosphere longer, it begins to get a little frustrating after awhile. This is especially true when you buy one or two presents for you and one for someone else. Sometimes, I’ve even bought stuff more me and nothing for anyone else. Ugh!
• I really am in a Christmas mood this year. I hope this keeps up. It’s hard to sustain a mood like this for an entire month. I’m trying though. I refuse to let the insane shoppers, bad traffic, hard-to-find parking and overplayed Christmas carols ruin my festive mood. For this, I drink a lot of Starbuck with their cute holiday cup holders and wear my new Christmas t-shirts! ? Hopefully, the novelties won’t wear off.
• Doesn’t it seem like Christmas card writing is either too early or too late. I never seem to be able to find the perfect Christmas letter/card writing time. I do my grandparents Christmas letter every year and it always seems too early to start writing it. Then, before you know it, I’m rushing to get them mailed before Christmas actually occurs.
• I was doing my grandparents’ Christmas letter today and realized I don’t know my family all that well. For my immediate family (mom, dad, Jill), I could tell you lots of stories, some great things about them personally, but probably wouldn’t be too good at questions like “name their favorite color”. I might get a lot of Jill’s right because she’s always in on those stupid surveys I send through email. Occasionally, I’ve answered them for her better than she answered them for her. My mom, I’d just be guessing on a lot of them and may come pretty close (she hates being predictable and swears she isn’t, but she really is.). Dad, well, I really have no idea what his favorite of most of that stuff is. Maybe I could coerce him into doing the stupid email surveys I send out! ? As for my mom’s side of the family (which I’m really pretty close with, given I can hardly tell you anything detailed or emotional about them), I’m clueless. It’s sad when you feel close to them, yet can’t tell you much about them as people at all!
• I love my grandparents. Somehow, just talking to them always makes me smile. They really are the sweetest people. Thinking about a life without them makes me so sad. I know they won’t live forever, I’m just hoping to make the most of the time I have left with them, however long that might be.
• Speaking of sweet people, keep my Aunt Lois in your thoughts and prayers as she began her chemo on Monday. She has to have 4 rounds in 3 months (or is it 3 rounds in 4 months, I can’t remember). She is struggling with it, as I’m sure I would. My mom is really sad and really misses her. (My mom told my aunt – her best friend whom we call aunt, not her sister-that she wasn’t going to bug her, and would give her space to fight through this, but my aunt could call her anytime to talk about anything. They talk once every couple of weeks instead of once or twice a week for hours, like they used to.)
• I got my mom the best birthday present. I’m so excited! It’s going to kill me to wait another week before I give it to her. Just so as not to tempt myself, I wraped it as soon as I got it today! (I'll fill ya'll in AFTER next week when I give to to her.)
• CONGRATS JEREMY!!!!!! I’m guessing I can blab all over, since you are now blabbing to everyone! ? My favorite blonde man and his wife will be having a little Jeremy or Jeremyina sometime around June! YEAH! Move back East, so I can visit him/her more often!!!!!! :) :) (See Jerm?!?!? If I can’t contain my excitement and not shout from the rooftops that you and Annette are having a baby, how will I ever wait 3 months if I ever get pregnant?!?!?!?!?!?!?)
Finally, I hope you all are full of Christmas Spirit (not spirits AJ, save that for later! :) ) and enjoying the season. There's a few people I'd like to add to my "Keep in your thoughts" list - The family of the 6 year-old killed in Chicago by the SW plane that skidded off the runway; my next-door neighbor, Pete, an Air Force pilot who is going to Iraq shortly after the holidays; our basketball coach's son's family (he has twins with renal reflux who need surgery, his 2 year-old might have it to and thus need surgery and his wife with a heart issue they discovered while she was pregnant. His company got bought out and he lost his job. The insurance they have expired the 1st of this month. COBRA is an option, but it's going to stretch their finances until he finds another job; another basketball coach who had an emergency appendectomy and severe complications following; a volunteer coach whose mother is struggling through dialysis and other issues; Brad (who I will not be sharing with his wife, Amy, in case you all have missed the exchanges from a previous reply-to-post) as he continues to recover from his bypass surgery and, not to be left out, my ice-scooping elbow (so as not to be confused with Tennis Elbow or Golf elbow, as I have been doing none of those things...but it's essentially the same ailment)injury, as well as my other "I live in an 80 year-old's body" ailments in the hope I will soon resemble a normal 30 year-old...at least in body and spirit! :) (Can I throw in thoughts of a 6 foot Abercrombie model with a big heart, a good sense of humor and who thinks I'm wonderful? If it's not too much to ask.... ;) :) )
MERRY DECEMBER 9th EVERYONE!!!!!
Here’s a Stream Of Consciousness I’ve been accumulating over the last few days. (Notice how one topic ties in somehow with the next? I’m like that girl from Ferris Bueller lately! “Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.”)
• The hips I thought were a fairly new revelation, apparently are not. Aim posted a picture on her site that shows I’ve had hips for years. It’s funny. In my head, my body is similar to that of Naomi Watts. This makes it ultimately disappointing when I try on clothes/outfits which would look great on her/me, only to look in the mirror and see a hippy, chubby, not-so-tall looking person staring back. (Not to mention the outfit doesn’t look all that great on someone who doesn’t look like Naomi Watts.)
• I have read all the links on Sgt Ron Long’s website (www.278medic.blogspot.com) and all the subject matter is so “adult” compared to the link to my site involving large hips, single-dom, whiney injured high-schoolers and my friends and family. Well, maybe I fall in line more with the Sixth Avenue Skatepark side of life and less with the FOX News side.
• Speaking of Sgt. Long’s site, how fun is Christmas around children?!?!? It really does just bring all the magic of the holidays back watching it through the eyes of a child. Watching them get all excited about Santa coming, decorating, baking cookies and then Christmas morning watching them tear into their gifts that “Santa” left!
• Christmas shopping is more fun if you know what you want to get people. While the “not knowing” definitely means I get to be out in the Christmas-y atmosphere longer, it begins to get a little frustrating after awhile. This is especially true when you buy one or two presents for you and one for someone else. Sometimes, I’ve even bought stuff more me and nothing for anyone else. Ugh!
• I really am in a Christmas mood this year. I hope this keeps up. It’s hard to sustain a mood like this for an entire month. I’m trying though. I refuse to let the insane shoppers, bad traffic, hard-to-find parking and overplayed Christmas carols ruin my festive mood. For this, I drink a lot of Starbuck with their cute holiday cup holders and wear my new Christmas t-shirts! ? Hopefully, the novelties won’t wear off.
• Doesn’t it seem like Christmas card writing is either too early or too late. I never seem to be able to find the perfect Christmas letter/card writing time. I do my grandparents Christmas letter every year and it always seems too early to start writing it. Then, before you know it, I’m rushing to get them mailed before Christmas actually occurs.
• I was doing my grandparents’ Christmas letter today and realized I don’t know my family all that well. For my immediate family (mom, dad, Jill), I could tell you lots of stories, some great things about them personally, but probably wouldn’t be too good at questions like “name their favorite color”. I might get a lot of Jill’s right because she’s always in on those stupid surveys I send through email. Occasionally, I’ve answered them for her better than she answered them for her. My mom, I’d just be guessing on a lot of them and may come pretty close (she hates being predictable and swears she isn’t, but she really is.). Dad, well, I really have no idea what his favorite of most of that stuff is. Maybe I could coerce him into doing the stupid email surveys I send out! ? As for my mom’s side of the family (which I’m really pretty close with, given I can hardly tell you anything detailed or emotional about them), I’m clueless. It’s sad when you feel close to them, yet can’t tell you much about them as people at all!
• I love my grandparents. Somehow, just talking to them always makes me smile. They really are the sweetest people. Thinking about a life without them makes me so sad. I know they won’t live forever, I’m just hoping to make the most of the time I have left with them, however long that might be.
• Speaking of sweet people, keep my Aunt Lois in your thoughts and prayers as she began her chemo on Monday. She has to have 4 rounds in 3 months (or is it 3 rounds in 4 months, I can’t remember). She is struggling with it, as I’m sure I would. My mom is really sad and really misses her. (My mom told my aunt – her best friend whom we call aunt, not her sister-that she wasn’t going to bug her, and would give her space to fight through this, but my aunt could call her anytime to talk about anything. They talk once every couple of weeks instead of once or twice a week for hours, like they used to.)
• I got my mom the best birthday present. I’m so excited! It’s going to kill me to wait another week before I give it to her. Just so as not to tempt myself, I wraped it as soon as I got it today! (I'll fill ya'll in AFTER next week when I give to to her.)
• CONGRATS JEREMY!!!!!! I’m guessing I can blab all over, since you are now blabbing to everyone! ? My favorite blonde man and his wife will be having a little Jeremy or Jeremyina sometime around June! YEAH! Move back East, so I can visit him/her more often!!!!!! :) :) (See Jerm?!?!? If I can’t contain my excitement and not shout from the rooftops that you and Annette are having a baby, how will I ever wait 3 months if I ever get pregnant?!?!?!?!?!?!?)
Finally, I hope you all are full of Christmas Spirit (not spirits AJ, save that for later! :) ) and enjoying the season. There's a few people I'd like to add to my "Keep in your thoughts" list - The family of the 6 year-old killed in Chicago by the SW plane that skidded off the runway; my next-door neighbor, Pete, an Air Force pilot who is going to Iraq shortly after the holidays; our basketball coach's son's family (he has twins with renal reflux who need surgery, his 2 year-old might have it to and thus need surgery and his wife with a heart issue they discovered while she was pregnant. His company got bought out and he lost his job. The insurance they have expired the 1st of this month. COBRA is an option, but it's going to stretch their finances until he finds another job; another basketball coach who had an emergency appendectomy and severe complications following; a volunteer coach whose mother is struggling through dialysis and other issues; Brad (who I will not be sharing with his wife, Amy, in case you all have missed the exchanges from a previous reply-to-post) as he continues to recover from his bypass surgery and, not to be left out, my ice-scooping elbow (so as not to be confused with Tennis Elbow or Golf elbow, as I have been doing none of those things...but it's essentially the same ailment)injury, as well as my other "I live in an 80 year-old's body" ailments in the hope I will soon resemble a normal 30 year-old...at least in body and spirit! :) (Can I throw in thoughts of a 6 foot Abercrombie model with a big heart, a good sense of humor and who thinks I'm wonderful? If it's not too much to ask.... ;) :) )
MERRY DECEMBER 9th EVERYONE!!!!!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Sweetheart? What Sweetheart? No one of those "gives to me" anything this year.
‘Why I hate the holidays’
By Anna David
(from MSN.com)
Ah, the holidays. Traffic is worse than ever, lines are interminable, my stress-inducing family is beckoning me home and everyone else has someone to take to their office Christmas party. That’s why it’s so tempting to relish in those woe-is-me-and-the-rest-of-us-single-people pity parties. Sure, happily coupled people can say it’s no big deal and to enjoy it sans date. But, hey, that’s because they don’t have to deal with, for starters, these six reasons I find single-dom particularly loathsome during the holiday months. Read on, see if you don’t agree with me, and let’s work towards finding our matches in 2006!
1) There’s no one to assure me that I’m not fat after I inhale the entire plate of chocolate chip cookies/box of truffles/foil-wrapped Santa.
There’s no doubt about it: I like to eat things that are bad for me, and I like it even more when I have an excuse. Though not a great one, having so many more decadent foods around during the holidays makes me much more likely to indulge—especially when you factor in those awkward gaps in conversation when I’m stuck talking to, say, the halitosis-afflicted assistant to the head of HR at the office Christmas party. So I keep eating... and then don’t have a sweetie around to assure me that no matter how many mini pecan pies I’ve scarfed down, I still look just lovely.
2) Since I have no date for the office Christmas party, I get stuck talking to the most socially awkward person there (see above).
Of course, I could bring a good female friend, but then I might risk inadvertently “coming out,” which would be unfortunate since I’m not gay, no matter what Mom suspects is the reason I haven’t given her grandchildren yet. I could just bring a guy who’s presentable, but if I knew one of those, I’d surely be dating him. So I am sentenced to spend the office festivities listening to someone list all the many and wondrous features of the new copier that’s been ordered or how the new legal-sized file folders are going to improve my life.
3) The long lines and bumper-to-bumper traffic feel like a whole lot more work than they did when I had a boyfriend.
When I’m shopping for someone I’m gaga over, I can think, “It’s worth sitting in this back-to-back traffic to get to the yarn store with the 45-minute wait because he’ll love the scarf I make him more than life itself. And this scarf will communicate to him just how strongly I feel about him.” But how excited can any girl get about a present for, like, her sister? (No offense, Jill. But since I have NO ideas for you....how can I get excited over that?!?!?!?)
4) My “holiday spirit” runs unfettered.
I’ll never forget the time that, caught up in the holiday spirit, I baked cookies, then decided to give them to a slew of random people whose help I’d appreciated over the year. One of my cookie recipients was the guy who sorted the mail at the magazine where I toiled. The reward for my random act of domesticity was several hundred winks and leers, which continued long after I explained that my cookie baking wasn’t a sign of a latent crush. At least if I’d been dating someone, I could have funneled all that home ec energy into doing something nice for him. (Pathetic, but you know it’s true.)
5) Having to answer the infamous “Who are you seeing now?” queries from random relatives.
Holidays mean interactions with everyone from Aunt Barbara to Grandpa Bob and the interrogation process can often begin before I’m prepared. “You look good—seeing anybody yet?” a relative might whisper while kissing me on the cheek. Even though the queries have diminished with every year that passes (a fact I’m not sure whether to slot in the “good” or “bad” category), I never seem to have a response that suggests anything other than the fact that I’m destined to be the family’s freaky spinster with the 400 cats.
6) New Year’s Eve. Midnight.
Need I say more? So let’s get out there, get dating, and be happily coupled up come December 31st, 2006!
By Anna David
(from MSN.com)
Ah, the holidays. Traffic is worse than ever, lines are interminable, my stress-inducing family is beckoning me home and everyone else has someone to take to their office Christmas party. That’s why it’s so tempting to relish in those woe-is-me-and-the-rest-of-us-single-people pity parties. Sure, happily coupled people can say it’s no big deal and to enjoy it sans date. But, hey, that’s because they don’t have to deal with, for starters, these six reasons I find single-dom particularly loathsome during the holiday months. Read on, see if you don’t agree with me, and let’s work towards finding our matches in 2006!
1) There’s no one to assure me that I’m not fat after I inhale the entire plate of chocolate chip cookies/box of truffles/foil-wrapped Santa.
There’s no doubt about it: I like to eat things that are bad for me, and I like it even more when I have an excuse. Though not a great one, having so many more decadent foods around during the holidays makes me much more likely to indulge—especially when you factor in those awkward gaps in conversation when I’m stuck talking to, say, the halitosis-afflicted assistant to the head of HR at the office Christmas party. So I keep eating... and then don’t have a sweetie around to assure me that no matter how many mini pecan pies I’ve scarfed down, I still look just lovely.
2) Since I have no date for the office Christmas party, I get stuck talking to the most socially awkward person there (see above).
Of course, I could bring a good female friend, but then I might risk inadvertently “coming out,” which would be unfortunate since I’m not gay, no matter what Mom suspects is the reason I haven’t given her grandchildren yet. I could just bring a guy who’s presentable, but if I knew one of those, I’d surely be dating him. So I am sentenced to spend the office festivities listening to someone list all the many and wondrous features of the new copier that’s been ordered or how the new legal-sized file folders are going to improve my life.
3) The long lines and bumper-to-bumper traffic feel like a whole lot more work than they did when I had a boyfriend.
When I’m shopping for someone I’m gaga over, I can think, “It’s worth sitting in this back-to-back traffic to get to the yarn store with the 45-minute wait because he’ll love the scarf I make him more than life itself. And this scarf will communicate to him just how strongly I feel about him.” But how excited can any girl get about a present for, like, her sister? (No offense, Jill. But since I have NO ideas for you....how can I get excited over that?!?!?!?)
4) My “holiday spirit” runs unfettered.
I’ll never forget the time that, caught up in the holiday spirit, I baked cookies, then decided to give them to a slew of random people whose help I’d appreciated over the year. One of my cookie recipients was the guy who sorted the mail at the magazine where I toiled. The reward for my random act of domesticity was several hundred winks and leers, which continued long after I explained that my cookie baking wasn’t a sign of a latent crush. At least if I’d been dating someone, I could have funneled all that home ec energy into doing something nice for him. (Pathetic, but you know it’s true.)
5) Having to answer the infamous “Who are you seeing now?” queries from random relatives.
Holidays mean interactions with everyone from Aunt Barbara to Grandpa Bob and the interrogation process can often begin before I’m prepared. “You look good—seeing anybody yet?” a relative might whisper while kissing me on the cheek. Even though the queries have diminished with every year that passes (a fact I’m not sure whether to slot in the “good” or “bad” category), I never seem to have a response that suggests anything other than the fact that I’m destined to be the family’s freaky spinster with the 400 cats.
6) New Year’s Eve. Midnight.
Need I say more? So let’s get out there, get dating, and be happily coupled up come December 31st, 2006!
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Dancing in the Rite Aid with a Case of Beer
This year for Christmas my/Trish's friends and I decided to do a book exchange, instead of buying each other presents. The idea was proposed by our friend, Carol who now lives in San Diego. We would each pick a book we liked, for whatever reason, write a little note in it (why we piked it, Happy holidays), wrap it up and we'd all get together and pick one out. I have been so excited by this. What a great idea! Until I realized...I'm not a profound, life-altering-moment, kind of person (no matter how much I wish I were).
I like reading books by Jeffrey Deaver, Jonathan Kellerman, Grisham and other whodonit types. I also like the YA-YAs....but which one of us hasn't read them?!?!?! (Especially since I gave it to 2 or the other exchangers as a present years ago.) I like the Harry Potter books, but again, most of us, if not all have read them. Hmmm....
I finally decided I'd check out an author Kare sent me a few years ago, Laurie Notaro. I had already read Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club, so I decided to try a different book. So far, I haven't been all that impressed. This has led me to Half.com the Idiot book again to see if I liked that one enough to share it. Anyway, the book is We Thought You'd Be Prettier. It's mostly her post-married life, but quips about her life which seem real, but not entirely as funny as I remember Idiot being. Tonight, I began reading a chapter on her favorite bar closing and the memories of all the things that had happened there I had to close the book and write (lest I finish the chapter and forget what I wanted to say about it) about the first thing that came to mind.
The conversation spurring the nostalgia went like almost like I'm going to write it. I can't really remember WHERE it took place, for some reason I want to say Kare's house, but it really could've been Memorial Day in Ocean City, MD. I DO remember it was "the Lisas", Kare and me and for all I know a few other people could've been around. Lisa B opened her mouth and said, "They're making it a Rite Aid." WHAT?!?!?!? (we all said that in unison, does it need quotes?) "Yep. A Rite Aid."
I really couldn't get my little brain around the idea the bar of legend and then of reality (once I turned 21) would be a drugstore. There was the first time "our bar" impacted my life when our R.A. came home from there late one night with stories to tell of a smashed window and his roommate's separated shoulder, followed by a late night run to Dunkin Donuts. The nights when we lived together that Kare went there and came home to talk of who was seen, what took place and (most importantly) who was missing or "disappeared" together before "last call".
The first time I entered into the bar "with the airplane sticking out of the roof" for Beat-The-Clock Friday nights (and later, Beat-The Cover-Charge). Me dancing with Mitch (our football player) after learning my ex-boyfriend had a new girlfriend; an Athletic Trainer symposium post-mortem where "Gobble, Gobble, Gobble" took on a whole new meaning and old crushes extinguished. A new relationship (and the "best" one to date)began at the hand of a friend talking to a guy about me, inspiring the guy to talk to me about me (Thanks again Beck! :) ) and then him helping me to win a case of beer from our friend, Penny (Ah, competition bonds people like nothing else! :) ) at the Back Bar. The Valentine's Day Trish came down to Salisbury to witness the above mentioned R.A. propse to me at the main bar and wax poetic to everyone who would listen (his friends, Trish, the bartender, Beatnik guy, random others) about how wonderful I was. And who can forget (beside me trying) the night our basketball team lost in a playoff game at Towson and our friend Earl drove Beck and I straight from the game in Towson to The Flying Club?!?!? Earl had the "magic" touch and somehow got me a plastic cup that was never empty. I only had that one drink all night! I also made up my own sign language so I could communicate with Aim, met Jay, Earl's roommate (after I figured out there were not two Earls)and missed my new relationship's lacrosse game because I had only managed a 1/4 inch turn on the couch at Beck's by 2 o'clock Saturday afternoon. I'm also pretty sure, but not positive one of my friends saved another of my friends from non-oncoming cars on the way home from there one night.
"A Rite Aid? Lisa, they can't make it a Rite Aid! You just can't have the same memories from a Rite Aid. I say on our next visit we buy a case of beer, go to Salisbury, hit the Rite Aid, find the spot where the old dance floor was and dance up a storm."
I like reading books by Jeffrey Deaver, Jonathan Kellerman, Grisham and other whodonit types. I also like the YA-YAs....but which one of us hasn't read them?!?!?! (Especially since I gave it to 2 or the other exchangers as a present years ago.) I like the Harry Potter books, but again, most of us, if not all have read them. Hmmm....
I finally decided I'd check out an author Kare sent me a few years ago, Laurie Notaro. I had already read Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club, so I decided to try a different book. So far, I haven't been all that impressed. This has led me to Half.com the Idiot book again to see if I liked that one enough to share it. Anyway, the book is We Thought You'd Be Prettier. It's mostly her post-married life, but quips about her life which seem real, but not entirely as funny as I remember Idiot being. Tonight, I began reading a chapter on her favorite bar closing and the memories of all the things that had happened there I had to close the book and write (lest I finish the chapter and forget what I wanted to say about it) about the first thing that came to mind.
The conversation spurring the nostalgia went like almost like I'm going to write it. I can't really remember WHERE it took place, for some reason I want to say Kare's house, but it really could've been Memorial Day in Ocean City, MD. I DO remember it was "the Lisas", Kare and me and for all I know a few other people could've been around. Lisa B opened her mouth and said, "They're making it a Rite Aid." WHAT?!?!?!? (we all said that in unison, does it need quotes?) "Yep. A Rite Aid."
I really couldn't get my little brain around the idea the bar of legend and then of reality (once I turned 21) would be a drugstore. There was the first time "our bar" impacted my life when our R.A. came home from there late one night with stories to tell of a smashed window and his roommate's separated shoulder, followed by a late night run to Dunkin Donuts. The nights when we lived together that Kare went there and came home to talk of who was seen, what took place and (most importantly) who was missing or "disappeared" together before "last call".
The first time I entered into the bar "with the airplane sticking out of the roof" for Beat-The-Clock Friday nights (and later, Beat-The Cover-Charge). Me dancing with Mitch (our football player) after learning my ex-boyfriend had a new girlfriend; an Athletic Trainer symposium post-mortem where "Gobble, Gobble, Gobble" took on a whole new meaning and old crushes extinguished. A new relationship (and the "best" one to date)began at the hand of a friend talking to a guy about me, inspiring the guy to talk to me about me (Thanks again Beck! :) ) and then him helping me to win a case of beer from our friend, Penny (Ah, competition bonds people like nothing else! :) ) at the Back Bar. The Valentine's Day Trish came down to Salisbury to witness the above mentioned R.A. propse to me at the main bar and wax poetic to everyone who would listen (his friends, Trish, the bartender, Beatnik guy, random others) about how wonderful I was. And who can forget (beside me trying) the night our basketball team lost in a playoff game at Towson and our friend Earl drove Beck and I straight from the game in Towson to The Flying Club?!?!? Earl had the "magic" touch and somehow got me a plastic cup that was never empty. I only had that one drink all night! I also made up my own sign language so I could communicate with Aim, met Jay, Earl's roommate (after I figured out there were not two Earls)and missed my new relationship's lacrosse game because I had only managed a 1/4 inch turn on the couch at Beck's by 2 o'clock Saturday afternoon. I'm also pretty sure, but not positive one of my friends saved another of my friends from non-oncoming cars on the way home from there one night.
"A Rite Aid? Lisa, they can't make it a Rite Aid! You just can't have the same memories from a Rite Aid. I say on our next visit we buy a case of beer, go to Salisbury, hit the Rite Aid, find the spot where the old dance floor was and dance up a storm."
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Peanut, Peanut Butter....
I'm sure by now everyone has heard about the 15 year-old girl with a peanut allergy who died when her boyfriend ate peanut butter then kissed her. The reports I've read and heard varied from "he ate the peanut butter on toast 9 hours before" (BBC news) to just before (Edmonton news) he came to her house and peck kissed her hello.
The local talk radio show in the late morning/afternoon here wanted to know about food allergies and how parents deal with them, etc. It made me utter a phrase (in my brain, not out load, because I was in the car by myself and well, out loud would mean I was talking to myself :) ) I never thought I'd say. "YEAH Parents!"
"Yeah Parents!" I'm not too big on parents. No offense to those parents I know personally. It's not a sepcific thing, just a rash generalization based on the hordes of unattended children running through shopping centers, bookstores and restaurants as their parents continue their conversations, lunches, shopping without so much as a sidewards glance to their children. It's as much the area I live in as the people who are having children, maybe more so. I have also witnessed parents refuse to admit the misdeeds of their own children and actually criticize others for reprimanding them, when, if it was my child, I'd punish them myself because they probably deserved it. However, I digress.
When I first heard the topic, I almost changed the channel. I figured it would be loads of mothers championing peanut-free schools, dairy-free kindergartens and other make your school absolutely safe for my child and their "issues" (for not wanting to list health concerns, allergies, et al). Instead, what I heard made me smile. Most mothers called in to say when faced with a nut-free lunch table or peanut-free school, they and their children said no way. I heard parents speaking of not giving their child false-security in thinking the whole world is "safe" for them. One mother asked her son if he'd like to sit at the nut-free table, to which her son replied, "Mom, they probably wipe down one table, then wipe down another one. So, what does it matter if I sit at a "special" table or not." Go kids! Go Mom! She must have done something right. One mother said a peanut-free school would lull her son into thinking he would never have to look out for peanut in the real world. Her son, who has known how to read "peanut" since he was 3 years old, would let his guard down. Yeah Mom! Yeah Dad! Yeah Parents!
Yeah Parents! Well....at least until the next one stands shreiking next to my table, while waiters and waitresses try stealthfully to avoid stepping on it (that's what my sister and I call the miserably annoying ones), while it's mother and her friend sit peacefully at a table enjoying their lunch. (Just for the record, every person I know personally who has children would never let their kids behave this way, because they too have experienced this.)
The local talk radio show in the late morning/afternoon here wanted to know about food allergies and how parents deal with them, etc. It made me utter a phrase (in my brain, not out load, because I was in the car by myself and well, out loud would mean I was talking to myself :) ) I never thought I'd say. "YEAH Parents!"
"Yeah Parents!" I'm not too big on parents. No offense to those parents I know personally. It's not a sepcific thing, just a rash generalization based on the hordes of unattended children running through shopping centers, bookstores and restaurants as their parents continue their conversations, lunches, shopping without so much as a sidewards glance to their children. It's as much the area I live in as the people who are having children, maybe more so. I have also witnessed parents refuse to admit the misdeeds of their own children and actually criticize others for reprimanding them, when, if it was my child, I'd punish them myself because they probably deserved it. However, I digress.
When I first heard the topic, I almost changed the channel. I figured it would be loads of mothers championing peanut-free schools, dairy-free kindergartens and other make your school absolutely safe for my child and their "issues" (for not wanting to list health concerns, allergies, et al). Instead, what I heard made me smile. Most mothers called in to say when faced with a nut-free lunch table or peanut-free school, they and their children said no way. I heard parents speaking of not giving their child false-security in thinking the whole world is "safe" for them. One mother asked her son if he'd like to sit at the nut-free table, to which her son replied, "Mom, they probably wipe down one table, then wipe down another one. So, what does it matter if I sit at a "special" table or not." Go kids! Go Mom! She must have done something right. One mother said a peanut-free school would lull her son into thinking he would never have to look out for peanut in the real world. Her son, who has known how to read "peanut" since he was 3 years old, would let his guard down. Yeah Mom! Yeah Dad! Yeah Parents!
Yeah Parents! Well....at least until the next one stands shreiking next to my table, while waiters and waitresses try stealthfully to avoid stepping on it (that's what my sister and I call the miserably annoying ones), while it's mother and her friend sit peacefully at a table enjoying their lunch. (Just for the record, every person I know personally who has children would never let their kids behave this way, because they too have experienced this.)
Friday, November 25, 2005
We Are A Perfect Christmas Gift!
Aren't They Adorable?!?!?!? See my below post to find out more about them!
Keep Us In Mind This Christmas
Hey Everyone!
As the first official day of Christmas shopping, here's a cause I love to support and a great one to keep in mind when looking for a perfect gift! Jill and I went to Tampa one year to swim with the Manatees, but a beautiful 85 degree day preceeded our visit and all the gentle, loving, playful sea cows went ocean-ward searching for food.
Check out http://www.savethemanatee.org
to learn more about how to "adopt" your very own Manatee!
As the first official day of Christmas shopping, here's a cause I love to support and a great one to keep in mind when looking for a perfect gift! Jill and I went to Tampa one year to swim with the Manatees, but a beautiful 85 degree day preceeded our visit and all the gentle, loving, playful sea cows went ocean-ward searching for food.
Check out http://www.savethemanatee.org
to learn more about how to "adopt" your very own Manatee!
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Happy Football Day!
Hey All!
I just thought since today revolves around football (oh yeah...and food! :) ) I'd post some ideas of where I spent the first half (and some of the second) of my day. Our season began like this (but ended today) and unfortunately didn't get a whole lot better. Our quarterback got quite accustom to taking hits as the season went on and hardly ever made THIS face anymore! :)
Our team had some great standout players and the season had numerous ESPN SportCenter highlight moments. Our players worked hard, played harder and gave, on some days it seemed, more than they had on every play.
I told our principal it has been a character building year for everyone involved. In the face of adversity, our players, coaches and fans never gave up in spirit or in the hope that the next win was right around the corner. Perhaps the lesson of giving your all and not coming out on top, working hard and remaining hopeful it will result in "a win", and how to deal gracefully with loss and disappointment will carry with them as long as the nostalgic stories of the "glorious playing days".
I just thought since today revolves around football (oh yeah...and food! :) ) I'd post some ideas of where I spent the first half (and some of the second) of my day. Our season began like this (but ended today) and unfortunately didn't get a whole lot better. Our quarterback got quite accustom to taking hits as the season went on and hardly ever made THIS face anymore! :)
Our team had some great standout players and the season had numerous ESPN SportCenter highlight moments. Our players worked hard, played harder and gave, on some days it seemed, more than they had on every play.
I told our principal it has been a character building year for everyone involved. In the face of adversity, our players, coaches and fans never gave up in spirit or in the hope that the next win was right around the corner. Perhaps the lesson of giving your all and not coming out on top, working hard and remaining hopeful it will result in "a win", and how to deal gracefully with loss and disappointment will carry with them as long as the nostalgic stories of the "glorious playing days".
He Was O.K., I promise
Unfortunately the Athletic Trainer-Lenape Football Player Combination was an all too familiar site this season. We had numerous season ending injuries and usually one or two each game! Bill and I did our best to patch them together. The player shown here left the hospital that night with a diagnosed concussion. (You all should be familiar with his case, I mentioned it in a previous blog about neurologic problems. He is doing excellant, although did not return to football and is currently under a neurologists care for monitoring.) This picture appeared in a local newspaper along with a comment by the writer on the excellent Athletic Trainers and the 45 minute wait for an ambulance during this injury.
Better Today
We played MUCH better today....well, until the 4th quarter! Our quarterback apparently thinks this qualifies him for the Heisman! :) (Actually this picture was taken the first game of the year. I'll try and post the ones from today's game if any make the paper.) We held strong, tied with the Conference Champs at halftime (have you heard this one before? :) ) and down by one TD halfway through the 3rd. Numerous fumbles and the desire to crawl into a hole and go home left the final score 53-20. An end to our season, and it's been a long one, then off to a TERRFIC Thanksgiving Feast (cumulitively cooked by yours truly and the father).
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Welcome Home Sgt. Long!!!!!
A Big WELCOME HOME to Sgt. Ron Long and the 278th Regamental Combat Team!!!! I'm sure your families are overjoyed to have you home safe and sound. We are, too!
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Pictures
Just thought (since I really don't have much to write about) I'd post some pictures I love. This one is my mother and my grandfather leaving my grandparents' house on January 30th 1971, my mom and dad's wedding day. While the dress style is not my style, my mother looks so beautiful! My grandmother made all the bridesmaid dresses and did the many cakes (I'll post the pictures of that sometime) for their wedding. She still can't believe she did it all. Neither can we! A few days after the honeymoon, my mother and grandmother took the ladies from the church out to lunch to thank them for all of their help in the wedding (reception, dresses, food, etc.). My grandmother fell on the ice and broke her arm. Thank goodness it didn't happen BEFORE the wedding!
Grandparents
Hey Everyone!
Don't let me forget, if I haven't done it already, to tell you the story of how my grandparents met! I can't even tell you how special they both are in my life! This handsome young man is my grandfather. He was a member of the 8th Armored Division "The Thundering Herd" during World War II. He played baseball during his time in the Army. Ever the Athlete! He was named one of the All Time Greatest Athletes at his high school and the Outstanding Athlete for his high school in 1937.
Don't let me forget, if I haven't done it already, to tell you the story of how my grandparents met! I can't even tell you how special they both are in my life! This handsome young man is my grandfather. He was a member of the 8th Armored Division "The Thundering Herd" during World War II. He played baseball during his time in the Army. Ever the Athlete! He was named one of the All Time Greatest Athletes at his high school and the Outstanding Athlete for his high school in 1937.
Grandparents
Hi All!
This is my grandmother in her WAC Uniform. Isn't she beautiful?!?!? The women of the WAC (or WAAC as it was later called)took alot of flack for taking jobs that would keep soldiers out of battle and stateside. Every year for Veteran's Day my grandfather has to practically yank my grandmother up in church when they ask all Military Veterans to stand. It wasn't until recently she stood on her own and didn't argue.
This is my grandmother in her WAC Uniform. Isn't she beautiful?!?!? The women of the WAC (or WAAC as it was later called)took alot of flack for taking jobs that would keep soldiers out of battle and stateside. Every year for Veteran's Day my grandfather has to practically yank my grandmother up in church when they ask all Military Veterans to stand. It wasn't until recently she stood on her own and didn't argue.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy and Pain
Hey everyone!
Well, we'll do the "pain" part and get it out of the way, so we can move on to Happy Stuff. Our football tema is now 1-8 with no real hope of winning another game (we have one more Thanksgiving Day against the reigning State champion.). They should've won on Friday night in Woodbridge. It was so heartbreaking to watch the last half of the 4th Quarter when we were down (and lost) 22-19 and couldn't move the ball down the field. Their defense had open season on our poor quarterback who on 3rd down got up (after being sacked at the LOS) and yelled, "Come On guys, give me SOMETHING!". Needless to say, except for my babbling to keep our driver occupied, it was a quiet ride home. Now on to Happy Stuff:
1. I survived a week without my boss. This gives me a bit more confidence and energy going into week 2 without my boss. I can't remember what I've written, but Monday he went from work to the ER with abdominal pain. Wednesday morning he went BACK to the ER with abdominal pain. They scheduled him for a procedure Thursday afternoon to remove his kidney stone. It didn't work. He's having Litotripsy tomorrow. I'm hoping he'll be back the week of Thanksgiving, or sooner.
2. I got through yesterday with hardly a thought about Neil's wedding. Must be growing up, or getting over it or something. Hallelujuh, right?
3. Got new boots! So Cute! $28 for tall boots in choclate brown at Kohl's! I almost bought them in black too, but I'm cheap! :)
4. Christmas Shopping with Kare next Saturday! More than the shopping, is the spending time with Kare! I can't wait! Got the count down in the office! YEA!
5. Getting my car washed and cleaned inside and out....FINALLY! Now, it did cost me $15 more than I thought it was going to (I couldn't go to the $5 one I had a coupon for because of killer traffic) AND they did do a shoddy job with it, but there's no longer layers of dust on my dashboard and for that I'm happy!
6. Still being in bed at 11:30am. It's a beautiful thing.
7. Jill's home for the weekend. It's been fun having her around. Even got her hooked on the Pandas! :)
8. Halloween candy. I've been very good at not eating the tons of leftover candy we had. I keep taking it in for our athletes in the training room and not even eating it there. Today, I broke down and had two Reese's PB cups when I went downstairs to get my computer. Breakfast of champions. Yum!
9. Bertucci's rolls. I ate two of them yesterday at dinner. Yum! They'd be better with mounds of butter, but they're not too bad with the Olive Oil stuff.
10. Updating my blog, which I felt I haven't done forever. Hope everyone is well!
Well, we'll do the "pain" part and get it out of the way, so we can move on to Happy Stuff. Our football tema is now 1-8 with no real hope of winning another game (we have one more Thanksgiving Day against the reigning State champion.). They should've won on Friday night in Woodbridge. It was so heartbreaking to watch the last half of the 4th Quarter when we were down (and lost) 22-19 and couldn't move the ball down the field. Their defense had open season on our poor quarterback who on 3rd down got up (after being sacked at the LOS) and yelled, "Come On guys, give me SOMETHING!". Needless to say, except for my babbling to keep our driver occupied, it was a quiet ride home. Now on to Happy Stuff:
1. I survived a week without my boss. This gives me a bit more confidence and energy going into week 2 without my boss. I can't remember what I've written, but Monday he went from work to the ER with abdominal pain. Wednesday morning he went BACK to the ER with abdominal pain. They scheduled him for a procedure Thursday afternoon to remove his kidney stone. It didn't work. He's having Litotripsy tomorrow. I'm hoping he'll be back the week of Thanksgiving, or sooner.
2. I got through yesterday with hardly a thought about Neil's wedding. Must be growing up, or getting over it or something. Hallelujuh, right?
3. Got new boots! So Cute! $28 for tall boots in choclate brown at Kohl's! I almost bought them in black too, but I'm cheap! :)
4. Christmas Shopping with Kare next Saturday! More than the shopping, is the spending time with Kare! I can't wait! Got the count down in the office! YEA!
5. Getting my car washed and cleaned inside and out....FINALLY! Now, it did cost me $15 more than I thought it was going to (I couldn't go to the $5 one I had a coupon for because of killer traffic) AND they did do a shoddy job with it, but there's no longer layers of dust on my dashboard and for that I'm happy!
6. Still being in bed at 11:30am. It's a beautiful thing.
7. Jill's home for the weekend. It's been fun having her around. Even got her hooked on the Pandas! :)
8. Halloween candy. I've been very good at not eating the tons of leftover candy we had. I keep taking it in for our athletes in the training room and not even eating it there. Today, I broke down and had two Reese's PB cups when I went downstairs to get my computer. Breakfast of champions. Yum!
9. Bertucci's rolls. I ate two of them yesterday at dinner. Yum! They'd be better with mounds of butter, but they're not too bad with the Olive Oil stuff.
10. Updating my blog, which I felt I haven't done forever. Hope everyone is well!
Monday, November 07, 2005
And The Hits Keep Coming....
Just thought I'd update you all on the the beginning of Hell Week 3 and the conclusion of Hell Week 2.
Our football team lost it's 7th game Friday night 30-13. We lost one player for the season with a hairline jaw fracture and a chip fracture at the TMJ joint. Another with chronic stingers lost all strength in his arms and hands, but I didn't have a chance to look at him today to see if he got feeling back. On the upside for us, our Boys' Soccer team and Field Hockey teams lost Friday in their state tournaments, so our numbers will be significantly less than we have been seeing. Bill and I figured that now we could each try and take a day off this week to recover from Fall and prepare for the Winter Season, which starts the day after Thanksgiving.
Today, I arrived at work at noon. As I approached the door I wondered to myself what chaos awaited me today. I opened the door to find a lit, empty training room and a ringing phone. I figured Bill was wandering, as his car was outside and his computer was on the desk, since the training room was closed up. One of our school nurses was on the other end of the phone. She told me my boss, Bill was sent to our team physicians due to a crushing pain in his abdomen. (She wanted to call an ambulance, but he refused. Instead, he called our team general physicians and they told him to rush right over. Our Athletic Director took him.) They believed he had a kidney stone and were going to send him home with his wife, but he was in too much pain, so he was shipped out of their office by ambulance to the hospital. Needless to say, I will be on my own this week. Again, on the upside for sanity only, our Girls' Soccer team lost their state playoff game today, so we're down to Varsity/JV and Freshman football as sports remaining. I did have a cool laceration at the soccer game today. It was the opposing team. She headed the ball into the net for a goal and must have caught a cleat above the eye. She had a gash that was the length of her eyebrow and down to her skull. She was doing very well as I controlled the bleeding and steri-strip'd her head. She stayed around for the game and was going with her mom to the ER for stitches afterward. The funny thing was she went to the ER after the game for her stitches and ran into Bill as he was leaving to go home, so he knew all about the game. (I took some of his stuff to his house and was leaving as he was coming home. He looked Awful!)
We got our "you didn't make the playoffs" football game assigned today and Friday night we will be travelling 2 hours to Woodbridge H.S. to play. Since Bill is not around this weekend, I will be treking up there Friday night and back again. I'm just hoping they don't practice on Saturday, so I can have a day off. You'd think I hadn't just had two of them! :)
Well, I'd better get my sleep and conserve my energy 'cuz I'm gonna need it! I sent 3 or 4 kids away today telling them I'd look at their injuries in depth tomorrow. And the hits keep coming! :) Happy Monday to you all!
Our football team lost it's 7th game Friday night 30-13. We lost one player for the season with a hairline jaw fracture and a chip fracture at the TMJ joint. Another with chronic stingers lost all strength in his arms and hands, but I didn't have a chance to look at him today to see if he got feeling back. On the upside for us, our Boys' Soccer team and Field Hockey teams lost Friday in their state tournaments, so our numbers will be significantly less than we have been seeing. Bill and I figured that now we could each try and take a day off this week to recover from Fall and prepare for the Winter Season, which starts the day after Thanksgiving.
Today, I arrived at work at noon. As I approached the door I wondered to myself what chaos awaited me today. I opened the door to find a lit, empty training room and a ringing phone. I figured Bill was wandering, as his car was outside and his computer was on the desk, since the training room was closed up. One of our school nurses was on the other end of the phone. She told me my boss, Bill was sent to our team physicians due to a crushing pain in his abdomen. (She wanted to call an ambulance, but he refused. Instead, he called our team general physicians and they told him to rush right over. Our Athletic Director took him.) They believed he had a kidney stone and were going to send him home with his wife, but he was in too much pain, so he was shipped out of their office by ambulance to the hospital. Needless to say, I will be on my own this week. Again, on the upside for sanity only, our Girls' Soccer team lost their state playoff game today, so we're down to Varsity/JV and Freshman football as sports remaining. I did have a cool laceration at the soccer game today. It was the opposing team. She headed the ball into the net for a goal and must have caught a cleat above the eye. She had a gash that was the length of her eyebrow and down to her skull. She was doing very well as I controlled the bleeding and steri-strip'd her head. She stayed around for the game and was going with her mom to the ER for stitches afterward. The funny thing was she went to the ER after the game for her stitches and ran into Bill as he was leaving to go home, so he knew all about the game. (I took some of his stuff to his house and was leaving as he was coming home. He looked Awful!)
We got our "you didn't make the playoffs" football game assigned today and Friday night we will be travelling 2 hours to Woodbridge H.S. to play. Since Bill is not around this weekend, I will be treking up there Friday night and back again. I'm just hoping they don't practice on Saturday, so I can have a day off. You'd think I hadn't just had two of them! :)
Well, I'd better get my sleep and conserve my energy 'cuz I'm gonna need it! I sent 3 or 4 kids away today telling them I'd look at their injuries in depth tomorrow. And the hits keep coming! :) Happy Monday to you all!
Sunday, November 06, 2005
I've a grand memory for forgetting. -Robert Louis Stevenson
I've been forgetting things lately. Nothing terribly important, luckily for me, but little things, frustrating things...like words. I have found myself alot in the last two days unable to speak the word I meant to fit into a sentance. My mind searches, the grinding noise remnant of a dial-up computer looking for a signal, chugging through my memory bank searching for the word/words that used to roll so easily off my tongue. The most frustrating is knowing that I know the words I am looking for, that it's in their somewhere and seeming like an uneducated idiot as I am at a loss for words like placebo, acceptance, appropriate, subordinate. I always prided myself on my ability to speak at an appropriate level, sounding intelligent when I spoke and often exuding a vocabulary above my years. Lately, I've heard "like", "ya know", "melty" (still a favorite made up word, and "crap" come out of my mouth more than the words I struggle to find. So, before I forget anything else, here's some other random thoughts about things (and I'm sure there's many more I've said "I shall blog on this" and then forgotten) I've wanted to mention this week. (I have filled it with big words off the top of my head in an effort to use them and not lose them! :) )
* What does it say about our state of affairs when the local Subway is no longer offering Frequent Buyer Stamps because of forgeries?!?!?!? The woman behind the counter said someone (I'm guessing a former employee) sold stamps on eBay.
* I revel daily in the irony that the last two weekends I have seen "after midnight" hours both Friday and Saturday, while my sister expounds upon the merits of staying home, getting rest, having downtime and relaxing before return to bed early.
* I've been losing myself in Music lately. Everything from Sesame Street ("Sing") to Kanye West ("Golddigger") to Shirley Ellis ("The Name Game") to Fall Out Boy ("Sugar We're Goin' Down")
* Thusly, I have decided if anybody checked out my iPod, they'd think I have issues. (yes, yes, I know YOU ALL know I do, but not just because of my music taste! :) Well, except Karen. ;) ;) )
* Does anybody really say "Thusly" anymore except pretensious people? ;)
* I was totally having a socialite day yesterday. The following sentances did come out of my mouth, very contrary to my personality: "I should take my car to the car wash today, but I need to vaccum it and clean the inside and I look too cute for manual labor" AND "Mom, shouldn't somebody just give me clothes and nice thigh-rise black boots because they look good on me?" (Yes, I know how Paris Hilton it sounds, but when it's tough too find good quality clothes that look nice on you and fit well and make you look good, price should stand in your way. So, instead of deciding I should pay more for them, the cheap person in me decided they should just give them to me! :) )
* All the females I work closely with are losing weight...I am not. I'm extrememly frustrated with the ever growing clothes size and what to do about it. If I had the energy I'd work out, but I don't. Even the 3 days a week I used to go to the gym have slacked off to no days a week outside of work. The energy level and the frustration of dieting and working out and GAINING weight (and don't tell me there's a muscle building/fat losing curve...I've been waiting to get past that for 3 years. It's not curving!) has weakened my resolve to get up early and go to the gym. I really need to try and go before work 5 days a week and Run. I just....well, it mentally exhausts me to think of the amount of work this is going to take. (And yes, no fun...all work)
* My Little Man has gotten more cuddly. I am once again in a double bed with less than single bed sleeping space. Not to mention the 3:30 licks and kneading saying "pet me". Mav never did that. He knew better.
* Went to Rob's boyfriend Thom's house for a party last night. His house is gorgeous. Makes me want to get my own, just to freely decorate and to entertain. Wish I could afford my own place. :(
* I'm still not liking my glasses. I hate all the options I have regarding losing sight. Getting old sucks.
* Every time I think, maybe my life at the moment may just be a phase where I need to learn something so I can move on to the next step and not repeat past mistakes, my mother tells me something that makes me realize I have not changed since I was 2 years-old. The latest revelation is that I can't drink anything grape. The latest conversation went like this: "Mom, blah, blah, blah is happening. I don't understand." "Did you have something grape?" "Um...yeah...grape soda (I really like Grape soda. Get a craving for it every once in awhile). Why?" "When you were little, same thing used to happen with Grape Kool-Aid. I even wrote to the Kool-Aid company." We have similar conversation alot. I say "blah, blah, blah" she says, "yep. since you were little.". So much for evolving as we age! :)
* The other night I was out with our coaches and their wives/girlfriends and I felt like a giant, masculine brut. It probably didn't help that one wife was 5'2 and 100 pounds and dressed up to be in a bar, and the other girlfriend is 5'7 and 110 pound and dressed jock/feminine (jeans, long sleeve tee, hat, hair down around hat and make up) and I was in windpants and a ratty old turtleneck with my hair up, my glasses and having been running around for 3 hours with football.
* As I was leaving I was hit with a wave of sadness about my "lack of boy". I decided I was tired, needed to go to bed ASAP. (I try to be patient and not give it a whole lot of mind anymore. In an Entourage kind of way, I "sleep it out". :) )
* I tried to balance the "night of yang" with a "night of yin" last night in a denim skirt, long sleeve tee and cute hair (I forgot the makeup because I was lounging and playing with my iTunes), black boots and jewelery. It might have worked.
* Today I want to lounge around in pajamas and watch football. The sister is dragging me to meet Trish for "brunch" at 1:30pm. Upper East Side Jill has got to go away! Brunch, Cosmos...I'm not living Sex And The City I'm getting drug into Sex And The City Invades the Suburbs!
* Even though I know it's inevitable, the thought of losing my family makes me sad. as my grandparents age, I try not to think of the day when they won't be around. They look more and more frail each time we see them. I'm conflicted between spending as much time with them as I can and wanting free down time for myself. Mom said they're forgetting more and more. While I think they're both still amazing, especially for 88, there is no pretense from anyone that time is short and is very precious.
* I tried a few weeks ago to go to church. I am in search of a religion which meshes with my belief system. One in which I feel comfortable and comforted. That lives up to my idea of what a church should be to a person. I tried one church. I haven't been back to that one or any more. I'm just tired. Why isn't church at night? (Well, there's always Saturday night Mass. Maybe I'll try that next week!) I also feel I need to go to the library and get books on various religions so I know something about them. While I'm pretty sure I know what I am, I'm really sure I don't know enough about all the others to know for sure what I am. So, the Search for the Holy Grail begins! :) Let's hope there's no Black Knights in my path! :)
Well, it's time for lunch. Which is good because the gay guys we were with last night make a mean, high-priced vodka martini! Plus, how often do you go out where you can embrace your inner flamboyant nature and not be 1) obnoxious and 2) the most flamboyant person there! :) I need to get dressed and a hat is probably in order. Oh and Carlos (friend of Rob and Thom's) inspired to me try and learn Spanish again. I just hate the boring learning part and just want to be able to be fluent right away. Adios Mio! :) I guess it's just going to take time. Adios, Mi amistades!
* What does it say about our state of affairs when the local Subway is no longer offering Frequent Buyer Stamps because of forgeries?!?!?!? The woman behind the counter said someone (I'm guessing a former employee) sold stamps on eBay.
* I revel daily in the irony that the last two weekends I have seen "after midnight" hours both Friday and Saturday, while my sister expounds upon the merits of staying home, getting rest, having downtime and relaxing before return to bed early.
* I've been losing myself in Music lately. Everything from Sesame Street ("Sing") to Kanye West ("Golddigger") to Shirley Ellis ("The Name Game") to Fall Out Boy ("Sugar We're Goin' Down")
* Thusly, I have decided if anybody checked out my iPod, they'd think I have issues. (yes, yes, I know YOU ALL know I do, but not just because of my music taste! :) Well, except Karen. ;) ;) )
* Does anybody really say "Thusly" anymore except pretensious people? ;)
* I was totally having a socialite day yesterday. The following sentances did come out of my mouth, very contrary to my personality: "I should take my car to the car wash today, but I need to vaccum it and clean the inside and I look too cute for manual labor" AND "Mom, shouldn't somebody just give me clothes and nice thigh-rise black boots because they look good on me?" (Yes, I know how Paris Hilton it sounds, but when it's tough too find good quality clothes that look nice on you and fit well and make you look good, price should stand in your way. So, instead of deciding I should pay more for them, the cheap person in me decided they should just give them to me! :) )
* All the females I work closely with are losing weight...I am not. I'm extrememly frustrated with the ever growing clothes size and what to do about it. If I had the energy I'd work out, but I don't. Even the 3 days a week I used to go to the gym have slacked off to no days a week outside of work. The energy level and the frustration of dieting and working out and GAINING weight (and don't tell me there's a muscle building/fat losing curve...I've been waiting to get past that for 3 years. It's not curving!) has weakened my resolve to get up early and go to the gym. I really need to try and go before work 5 days a week and Run. I just....well, it mentally exhausts me to think of the amount of work this is going to take. (And yes, no fun...all work)
* My Little Man has gotten more cuddly. I am once again in a double bed with less than single bed sleeping space. Not to mention the 3:30 licks and kneading saying "pet me". Mav never did that. He knew better.
* Went to Rob's boyfriend Thom's house for a party last night. His house is gorgeous. Makes me want to get my own, just to freely decorate and to entertain. Wish I could afford my own place. :(
* I'm still not liking my glasses. I hate all the options I have regarding losing sight. Getting old sucks.
* Every time I think, maybe my life at the moment may just be a phase where I need to learn something so I can move on to the next step and not repeat past mistakes, my mother tells me something that makes me realize I have not changed since I was 2 years-old. The latest revelation is that I can't drink anything grape. The latest conversation went like this: "Mom, blah, blah, blah is happening. I don't understand." "Did you have something grape?" "Um...yeah...grape soda (I really like Grape soda. Get a craving for it every once in awhile). Why?" "When you were little, same thing used to happen with Grape Kool-Aid. I even wrote to the Kool-Aid company." We have similar conversation alot. I say "blah, blah, blah" she says, "yep. since you were little.". So much for evolving as we age! :)
* The other night I was out with our coaches and their wives/girlfriends and I felt like a giant, masculine brut. It probably didn't help that one wife was 5'2 and 100 pounds and dressed up to be in a bar, and the other girlfriend is 5'7 and 110 pound and dressed jock/feminine (jeans, long sleeve tee, hat, hair down around hat and make up) and I was in windpants and a ratty old turtleneck with my hair up, my glasses and having been running around for 3 hours with football.
* As I was leaving I was hit with a wave of sadness about my "lack of boy". I decided I was tired, needed to go to bed ASAP. (I try to be patient and not give it a whole lot of mind anymore. In an Entourage kind of way, I "sleep it out". :) )
* I tried to balance the "night of yang" with a "night of yin" last night in a denim skirt, long sleeve tee and cute hair (I forgot the makeup because I was lounging and playing with my iTunes), black boots and jewelery. It might have worked.
* Today I want to lounge around in pajamas and watch football. The sister is dragging me to meet Trish for "brunch" at 1:30pm. Upper East Side Jill has got to go away! Brunch, Cosmos...I'm not living Sex And The City I'm getting drug into Sex And The City Invades the Suburbs!
* Even though I know it's inevitable, the thought of losing my family makes me sad. as my grandparents age, I try not to think of the day when they won't be around. They look more and more frail each time we see them. I'm conflicted between spending as much time with them as I can and wanting free down time for myself. Mom said they're forgetting more and more. While I think they're both still amazing, especially for 88, there is no pretense from anyone that time is short and is very precious.
* I tried a few weeks ago to go to church. I am in search of a religion which meshes with my belief system. One in which I feel comfortable and comforted. That lives up to my idea of what a church should be to a person. I tried one church. I haven't been back to that one or any more. I'm just tired. Why isn't church at night? (Well, there's always Saturday night Mass. Maybe I'll try that next week!) I also feel I need to go to the library and get books on various religions so I know something about them. While I'm pretty sure I know what I am, I'm really sure I don't know enough about all the others to know for sure what I am. So, the Search for the Holy Grail begins! :) Let's hope there's no Black Knights in my path! :)
Well, it's time for lunch. Which is good because the gay guys we were with last night make a mean, high-priced vodka martini! Plus, how often do you go out where you can embrace your inner flamboyant nature and not be 1) obnoxious and 2) the most flamboyant person there! :) I need to get dressed and a hat is probably in order. Oh and Carlos (friend of Rob and Thom's) inspired to me try and learn Spanish again. I just hate the boring learning part and just want to be able to be fluent right away. Adios Mio! :) I guess it's just going to take time. Adios, Mi amistades!
Thursday, November 03, 2005
I Ain't Missin' You At All
Just thought I'd mention how much I miss him.
I'm too tired lately to blog about my thoughts on religion since Todd's funeral, the forgery of Subway stickers at my local Subway, the tons of kids we're still seeing late in the season, my Punk Rock halloween costume, Dead and Breakfast (great cheesy horror/comedy) and numerous other things I have been wanting to blog about for the last month or so. Hopefully soon, I'll get some energy.
Until then, love to my sweet Fuzzy Fat Man whom I miss everyday and still love very much. I have found no real replacement for the joy and love he gave me. I only find some comfort in knowing I did the best I could for him, even until the end.
I'm too tired lately to blog about my thoughts on religion since Todd's funeral, the forgery of Subway stickers at my local Subway, the tons of kids we're still seeing late in the season, my Punk Rock halloween costume, Dead and Breakfast (great cheesy horror/comedy) and numerous other things I have been wanting to blog about for the last month or so. Hopefully soon, I'll get some energy.
Until then, love to my sweet Fuzzy Fat Man whom I miss everyday and still love very much. I have found no real replacement for the joy and love he gave me. I only find some comfort in knowing I did the best I could for him, even until the end.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
One And Six
Well, after last night, we are 1-6. One win, six losses. It's amazing how the record in no way reflects the way we play. I know I'm bias, but we are really not as bad as 1 and 6. Our guys play their little hearts out and always keep the game seeming pretty close. It's always one or two little screw ups that result in game changing plays for the other team. Things like 3 guys missing tackle and their running back breaks for 75 yards down the field, us not reading a hand-off followed by a long pass 30 yards to put them within scoring position and the officials not counting our QB's forward progress resulting in us leaving the ball on the 1/2 yard line after 4 downs.
Our poor guys. They are so beat up. We lost 3 of our starters last night within 20 minutes. Injury summary - 1 2nd degree MCL sprain, 1 broken thumb and 1 broken leg. (This is not counting the opposing team who lost one near the end of the game with a broken ankle.) The broken thumb missed wrestling season last year due to tearing his ACL second to the last football game of last year. This year, he breaks his thumb the third to last game of his senior year. Our broken leg (we think, we just make severely educated "guesses" at these things, but considering both possibly broken body part people almost passed out on us, it's a good bet) missed all of last year, his Junior year, after breaking his forearm in the first game of the season. It's injuries like these, all to players who have struggled to overcome injuries, long hard struggles, that make my heart just break!
We have 2 games left. One of those teams is Top 10 in the state. Somedays I hope the good Lord just evokes the Mercy rule and speeds up time. Other days I realize I'm enjoying this years players so much, I'll be sad to see this fall season end.
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I went to Trish's (along with Reenie) tonight to watch Halloween. We followed it with a great B-movie-type cheesy comedy-horror called Dead and Breakfast. The singer (think Farrelly Brothers - Something About Mary) makes the movie! :) I still gasped and jumped a little throughout Halloween and had to keep calming my nerves as I drove home. I honestly don't know why people do things like that to themselves! (and am writing this blog to ease my mind enough to sleep! :) )
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I hope everyone has a wonderful Halloween weekend! Check back soon for pictures of my little giraffe/ladybug coming as soon as Amy sends them to me! Nothing like having a child vicariously through a friend! :) Happy Ghouls, Goblins and Ghosts everyone!
Our poor guys. They are so beat up. We lost 3 of our starters last night within 20 minutes. Injury summary - 1 2nd degree MCL sprain, 1 broken thumb and 1 broken leg. (This is not counting the opposing team who lost one near the end of the game with a broken ankle.) The broken thumb missed wrestling season last year due to tearing his ACL second to the last football game of last year. This year, he breaks his thumb the third to last game of his senior year. Our broken leg (we think, we just make severely educated "guesses" at these things, but considering both possibly broken body part people almost passed out on us, it's a good bet) missed all of last year, his Junior year, after breaking his forearm in the first game of the season. It's injuries like these, all to players who have struggled to overcome injuries, long hard struggles, that make my heart just break!
We have 2 games left. One of those teams is Top 10 in the state. Somedays I hope the good Lord just evokes the Mercy rule and speeds up time. Other days I realize I'm enjoying this years players so much, I'll be sad to see this fall season end.
_______________________________________________________________________
I went to Trish's (along with Reenie) tonight to watch Halloween. We followed it with a great B-movie-type cheesy comedy-horror called Dead and Breakfast. The singer (think Farrelly Brothers - Something About Mary) makes the movie! :) I still gasped and jumped a little throughout Halloween and had to keep calming my nerves as I drove home. I honestly don't know why people do things like that to themselves! (and am writing this blog to ease my mind enough to sleep! :) )
______________________________________________________________________________
I hope everyone has a wonderful Halloween weekend! Check back soon for pictures of my little giraffe/ladybug coming as soon as Amy sends them to me! Nothing like having a child vicariously through a friend! :) Happy Ghouls, Goblins and Ghosts everyone!
Friday, October 28, 2005
For Ron & Company
Dear Lord,
As the sun sets on another day, Glowing softly in the west,
Please set a special place aside for our wonderful country's best.
For the selfless men and women who knowingly give their all...
Who stand guard 'round our banner...and shall never let it fall.
They leave behind both spouse and child to protect and preserve our land,
They leave behind both hearth and home in service great and grand.
They endure heartache and hardship for an occasional word from home,
They endure sharp criticisms, and they often feel alone.
But Lord, please touch their souls tonight, somehow let them know we care,
That we're standing right behind them, even when they're "Over There".
And Lord if they're wet and cold in the darkness of a wild and rolling sea,
Or sweltering in the desert sands, and waiting patiently...
If they're soaring through the silver clouds, or standing guard out in the rain,
If they're laughing, living, loving...or in quiet, heartfelt pain.
Please, Lord tonight embrace them, Soldiers, Sailors one and all,
For they dearly love their country, and they daily give their all
For the young airman away from home, for the first time in his life,
And the officer far away, from his children and his wife.
To the women dressed in olive drab instead of skirts or jeans,
Because when you say "Patriot"...they can tell you what it means.
And Lord, if before this night is through, Heaven's Gate should open wide,
And a soldier, airman, sailor or marine should step inside,
If he straightens to attention with a clicking of his boot,
And proudly states his presence with a textbook sharp salute,
Embrace him, Lord...and love him...in Your great and perfect way
For he was one of the best, dear Lord...the Pride of the USA. (from www.sgtmoms.com)
Ron: My family and friends are all praying for the you. And so, here's another thought just for you and "your guys" in the hopes you'll all be back with your wife, kids, girlfriends, etc. soon...
"Wish that I was on ole rocky top,
Down in the tennessee hills.
Ain’t no smoggy smoke on rocky top,
Ain’t no telephone bills.
Once there was a girl on rocky top,
Half bear the other half cat.
Wild as a mink, sweet as soda pop,
I still dream about that.
Rocky top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me.
Good ole rocky top,
Rocky top tennessee, rocky top tennessee.
Once two strangers climbed on rocky top,
Lookin’ for a moonshine still.
Strangers ain’t come back from rocky top,
Guess they never will.
Corn won’t grow at all on rocky top,
Dirt’s too rocky by far.
That’s why all the folks on rocky top
Get their corn from a jar.
Rocky top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me.
Good ole rocky top,
Rocky top tennessee, rocky top tennessee.
Now I’ve had years of cramped up city life,
Trapped like a duck in a pen.
Now all I know is it’s a pity life
Can’t be simple again.
Rocky top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me.
Good ole rocky top,
Rocky top tennessee, rocky top tennessee.
Rocky top tennessee, rocky top tennessee.
Yeah rocky top tennesee eee eee eee"
:) :) :) :)
(Go Lenape! We're hoping to increase the win column of our football program to 2-5 tonight!:) :) )
As the sun sets on another day, Glowing softly in the west,
Please set a special place aside for our wonderful country's best.
For the selfless men and women who knowingly give their all...
Who stand guard 'round our banner...and shall never let it fall.
They leave behind both spouse and child to protect and preserve our land,
They leave behind both hearth and home in service great and grand.
They endure heartache and hardship for an occasional word from home,
They endure sharp criticisms, and they often feel alone.
But Lord, please touch their souls tonight, somehow let them know we care,
That we're standing right behind them, even when they're "Over There".
And Lord if they're wet and cold in the darkness of a wild and rolling sea,
Or sweltering in the desert sands, and waiting patiently...
If they're soaring through the silver clouds, or standing guard out in the rain,
If they're laughing, living, loving...or in quiet, heartfelt pain.
Please, Lord tonight embrace them, Soldiers, Sailors one and all,
For they dearly love their country, and they daily give their all
For the young airman away from home, for the first time in his life,
And the officer far away, from his children and his wife.
To the women dressed in olive drab instead of skirts or jeans,
Because when you say "Patriot"...they can tell you what it means.
And Lord, if before this night is through, Heaven's Gate should open wide,
And a soldier, airman, sailor or marine should step inside,
If he straightens to attention with a clicking of his boot,
And proudly states his presence with a textbook sharp salute,
Embrace him, Lord...and love him...in Your great and perfect way
For he was one of the best, dear Lord...the Pride of the USA. (from www.sgtmoms.com)
Ron: My family and friends are all praying for the you. And so, here's another thought just for you and "your guys" in the hopes you'll all be back with your wife, kids, girlfriends, etc. soon...
"Wish that I was on ole rocky top,
Down in the tennessee hills.
Ain’t no smoggy smoke on rocky top,
Ain’t no telephone bills.
Once there was a girl on rocky top,
Half bear the other half cat.
Wild as a mink, sweet as soda pop,
I still dream about that.
Rocky top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me.
Good ole rocky top,
Rocky top tennessee, rocky top tennessee.
Once two strangers climbed on rocky top,
Lookin’ for a moonshine still.
Strangers ain’t come back from rocky top,
Guess they never will.
Corn won’t grow at all on rocky top,
Dirt’s too rocky by far.
That’s why all the folks on rocky top
Get their corn from a jar.
Rocky top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me.
Good ole rocky top,
Rocky top tennessee, rocky top tennessee.
Now I’ve had years of cramped up city life,
Trapped like a duck in a pen.
Now all I know is it’s a pity life
Can’t be simple again.
Rocky top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me.
Good ole rocky top,
Rocky top tennessee, rocky top tennessee.
Rocky top tennessee, rocky top tennessee.
Yeah rocky top tennesee eee eee eee"
:) :) :) :)
(Go Lenape! We're hoping to increase the win column of our football program to 2-5 tonight!:) :) )
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Why Don't My Opposites Attact?
Hi All!
Well, I have developed a few new symptoms in my ever breaking down body. The most recent? Flushed Cheeks. This has been happening for a few weeks now for no obvious reason. It goes a bit with the night leg cramps I had a few weeks back (did I tell ya'll about that? Read on the internet it happens in the middle-aged. Stupid internet! :) ) and is in the ever running list of things I find going haywire in my bodily system. Since my mom is very concerned about this, she began her internet search to find out what it could be. Pretty soon she was laughing out loud.
"Hey Jenn, what is it Jill says you have?"
"What?!?!?!"
"You know, Jill says you have something in you that makes you attract all sorts of weird things, situations, people....what is it?"
"Yang, mom. Jill always says it's my Yang."
More laughing.
Here's what she found:
Heart Yin Deficiency
Signs:
PALPITATIONS, Heart Qi affected
INSOMNIA, (wakes in night too) Heart Blood Deficient
MENTAL RESTLESSNESS, Heart Blood Deficient
easily startled, poor memory, Heart Blood Deficient
anxiety, uneasiness, fidgeting Heart Blood Deficient
FEELINGS OF HEAT, esp. in evening Heart Yin Deficient
or low grade fever, MALAR FLUSH Heart Yin Deficient
NIGHT SWEATING, Heart Yin Deficient
dry mouth and throat, Heart Yin Deficient
5 palm heat. Heart Yin Deficient
Tongue: Red, no coating,
tip redder, maybe swollen, with red Points
deep midline crack reaching the tip. Yin Deficiency
Heart area
Heart pattern
Pulse: fine and rapid or floating-empty and rapid Yin Deficiency
Etiology:
Chronic anxiety, worry, very busy lifestyle can damage Yin and cause Yin Deficiency. If there are also deep emotional problems with anxiety, Shen becomes disturbed and Heart Yin Deficiency develops. Very common in the West.
(From - http://www.internalhealers.com/diagnosis/patterns/patterns_ht.cfm#yin)
So, if I'm deficient, how do I get my Yin back? If you guys see my Yin....please let me know I'm missing it and would like it back, so these weird heat flashes in my face go away. Thanks! :)
Well, I have developed a few new symptoms in my ever breaking down body. The most recent? Flushed Cheeks. This has been happening for a few weeks now for no obvious reason. It goes a bit with the night leg cramps I had a few weeks back (did I tell ya'll about that? Read on the internet it happens in the middle-aged. Stupid internet! :) ) and is in the ever running list of things I find going haywire in my bodily system. Since my mom is very concerned about this, she began her internet search to find out what it could be. Pretty soon she was laughing out loud.
"Hey Jenn, what is it Jill says you have?"
"What?!?!?!"
"You know, Jill says you have something in you that makes you attract all sorts of weird things, situations, people....what is it?"
"Yang, mom. Jill always says it's my Yang."
More laughing.
Here's what she found:
Heart Yin Deficiency
Signs:
PALPITATIONS, Heart Qi affected
INSOMNIA, (wakes in night too) Heart Blood Deficient
MENTAL RESTLESSNESS, Heart Blood Deficient
easily startled, poor memory, Heart Blood Deficient
anxiety, uneasiness, fidgeting Heart Blood Deficient
FEELINGS OF HEAT, esp. in evening Heart Yin Deficient
or low grade fever, MALAR FLUSH Heart Yin Deficient
NIGHT SWEATING, Heart Yin Deficient
dry mouth and throat, Heart Yin Deficient
5 palm heat. Heart Yin Deficient
Tongue: Red, no coating,
tip redder, maybe swollen, with red Points
deep midline crack reaching the tip. Yin Deficiency
Heart area
Heart pattern
Pulse: fine and rapid or floating-empty and rapid Yin Deficiency
Etiology:
Chronic anxiety, worry, very busy lifestyle can damage Yin and cause Yin Deficiency. If there are also deep emotional problems with anxiety, Shen becomes disturbed and Heart Yin Deficiency develops. Very common in the West.
(From - http://www.internalhealers.com/diagnosis/patterns/patterns_ht.cfm#yin)
So, if I'm deficient, how do I get my Yin back? If you guys see my Yin....please let me know I'm missing it and would like it back, so these weird heat flashes in my face go away. Thanks! :)
Monday, October 24, 2005
Overdue Thoughts
Hey Everyone!
Well, here's some overdue thoughts from me. Two weeks ago tomorrow, Trish, Reenie, a friend of Trish's from her old work, Kathleen and I went to trivia night at our local bar....only to find out they'd moved it to Wednesdays! We had a great night.
The next day Trish called me, obviously upset. Reenie's best friend, a guy named Todd she'd started bringing to parties and things lately and we loved him, committed suicide. We had just seen Todd Labor Day and had such a good time. It was so hard to imagine he was gone. More than a loss within our group of friends, my heart was just breaking for Reenie.
I'm not sure if I've drawn the correlation before, so here goes. Trish and I met and became friends our freshman or sophomore year in high school. Trish went to 2 years at community college (smart money saving move) and 2 years at an all-girls college in Philadelphia.It was there she met Brenna. When I moved home and after my year or two heartbreak recovery, I began getting together with Trish and her college girl friends. Brenna also began bringing HER high school friend, Reenie. I really liked being around Reenie.
With my post-Neil self-doubt issues, I never wanted to overstep my bounds and assume Trish's friends liked me for me, as opposed to liking me as the friend of Trish's that comes to things. Friends by proxy sometimes have certain boundries and come with their own issues. Can you get together with these "new" friends without the middle man friend? Do they like you enough to get together with you without your friend (Trish) or are you great when you're around, but not gonna go out of their way to hang out with you? Things like that.
I wasn't sure Reenie (or Brenna or any of Trish's college friends) really liked me, so I never sought to branch out from our get togethers until recently. I really like hanging out with Reenie and wish I'd go out of my way and step over that boundry more.
I just couldn't imagine what Reenie was going through, losing her best friend. Knowing Reenie the little that I did, it was easy to see she would go through the same thoughts and feelings I would have in that situation, "Why didn't he call me? should I have or could I have done anything for him?", etc. It also brought some flooding memories back of my lack of will to live during my time post-Neil. Needless to say, it was a rough time with all of us.
For the rest of the week, all I could think of was the range of emotions Reenie must be going through. The numbness, the anger, the overwhelming grief. I always get so emotional wondering why anyone who commits suicide doesn't think one person in their life is worth living for. That there isn't one person who's life would be thrown into complete turmoil if they died. Isn't there one person in their life they could spare the pain by living? I know when your pain is so great it is hard to see anything but that pain. However, if they knew what they would leave behind, how people would miss them, the void they would leave in someone's life, wouldn't they rethink it?
Reenie has been doing well. Trish, Reenie, Brenna, Jill (who came home for Reenie) and I went bowling Saturday. So much fun! We made Reenie laugh despite herself. I attended the funearl. It was miserably sad. I was a mess and thought Reenie held together extremely well. As Todd's best friend, Reenie was asked to cover him in the casket, as well as once the casket was closed. She did great! I don't know how she was so strong. I cried during Amazing Grace, during the priest's eulogy (I'll expound upon this more on a different blog) and as the casket was moving out of the church. Reenie was sobbing on and off, but I was pretty sure had it been my best friend, or close relative I'd have had to be drugged to be any good. I know I often short change myself, but people have become so precious to me lately. What got me is through everything, Reenie keeps thanking us for being there. (She greatly understood my sacrifice on bowling night when I was up until 2am! :) Considering I usually leave parties around midnight, as I am too tired to speak. :) )
It has converted over to my work lately. While I am usually very attentive to our students, I have been fighting the urge to hug every one of them. I want to tell them they are loved, let them know I am there for them, that there are people they can talk to (not necessarily me) if they're every in despair, to remind them people love them and would miss them if they were gone. I hope they know by our actions, by our concern and I hope their friends and families let them know every day.
Well, here's some overdue thoughts from me. Two weeks ago tomorrow, Trish, Reenie, a friend of Trish's from her old work, Kathleen and I went to trivia night at our local bar....only to find out they'd moved it to Wednesdays! We had a great night.
The next day Trish called me, obviously upset. Reenie's best friend, a guy named Todd she'd started bringing to parties and things lately and we loved him, committed suicide. We had just seen Todd Labor Day and had such a good time. It was so hard to imagine he was gone. More than a loss within our group of friends, my heart was just breaking for Reenie.
I'm not sure if I've drawn the correlation before, so here goes. Trish and I met and became friends our freshman or sophomore year in high school. Trish went to 2 years at community college (smart money saving move) and 2 years at an all-girls college in Philadelphia.It was there she met Brenna. When I moved home and after my year or two heartbreak recovery, I began getting together with Trish and her college girl friends. Brenna also began bringing HER high school friend, Reenie. I really liked being around Reenie.
With my post-Neil self-doubt issues, I never wanted to overstep my bounds and assume Trish's friends liked me for me, as opposed to liking me as the friend of Trish's that comes to things. Friends by proxy sometimes have certain boundries and come with their own issues. Can you get together with these "new" friends without the middle man friend? Do they like you enough to get together with you without your friend (Trish) or are you great when you're around, but not gonna go out of their way to hang out with you? Things like that.
I wasn't sure Reenie (or Brenna or any of Trish's college friends) really liked me, so I never sought to branch out from our get togethers until recently. I really like hanging out with Reenie and wish I'd go out of my way and step over that boundry more.
I just couldn't imagine what Reenie was going through, losing her best friend. Knowing Reenie the little that I did, it was easy to see she would go through the same thoughts and feelings I would have in that situation, "Why didn't he call me? should I have or could I have done anything for him?", etc. It also brought some flooding memories back of my lack of will to live during my time post-Neil. Needless to say, it was a rough time with all of us.
For the rest of the week, all I could think of was the range of emotions Reenie must be going through. The numbness, the anger, the overwhelming grief. I always get so emotional wondering why anyone who commits suicide doesn't think one person in their life is worth living for. That there isn't one person who's life would be thrown into complete turmoil if they died. Isn't there one person in their life they could spare the pain by living? I know when your pain is so great it is hard to see anything but that pain. However, if they knew what they would leave behind, how people would miss them, the void they would leave in someone's life, wouldn't they rethink it?
Reenie has been doing well. Trish, Reenie, Brenna, Jill (who came home for Reenie) and I went bowling Saturday. So much fun! We made Reenie laugh despite herself. I attended the funearl. It was miserably sad. I was a mess and thought Reenie held together extremely well. As Todd's best friend, Reenie was asked to cover him in the casket, as well as once the casket was closed. She did great! I don't know how she was so strong. I cried during Amazing Grace, during the priest's eulogy (I'll expound upon this more on a different blog) and as the casket was moving out of the church. Reenie was sobbing on and off, but I was pretty sure had it been my best friend, or close relative I'd have had to be drugged to be any good. I know I often short change myself, but people have become so precious to me lately. What got me is through everything, Reenie keeps thanking us for being there. (She greatly understood my sacrifice on bowling night when I was up until 2am! :) Considering I usually leave parties around midnight, as I am too tired to speak. :) )
It has converted over to my work lately. While I am usually very attentive to our students, I have been fighting the urge to hug every one of them. I want to tell them they are loved, let them know I am there for them, that there are people they can talk to (not necessarily me) if they're every in despair, to remind them people love them and would miss them if they were gone. I hope they know by our actions, by our concern and I hope their friends and families let them know every day.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
You're My Obssession
I've been obsessed with this for awhile. Check it out!
http://animal.discovery.com/cams/pandavidr.html
http://animal.discovery.com/cams/pandavidr.html
Thursday, October 20, 2005
All these thoughts, no energy
Hey guys!
Well, I have tons of thoughts lately...things I keep planning on expounding upon, but I'm just to dang tired! I'm hoping to get to it soon....like maybe Sunday (but then, I think I have something to do Sunday I'm forgetting about). It's been a long two weeks. Hopefully, I'll get to it all soon. Hope all is well.
Well, I have tons of thoughts lately...things I keep planning on expounding upon, but I'm just to dang tired! I'm hoping to get to it soon....like maybe Sunday (but then, I think I have something to do Sunday I'm forgetting about). It's been a long two weeks. Hopefully, I'll get to it all soon. Hope all is well.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Sgt. Ron Long
Since I didn't do it before, stupid me!, I'm doing it now. Check out Sgt. Long's Blog (I added it to my links on the side)! I read it every day and the last couple of postings have been wonderful!
While I will be sad to see this wonderful site cease ia Iraq come November, it will mean Ron is finally home with his family and that...will be worth 10 times more happiness than saddness.
While I will be sad to see this wonderful site cease ia Iraq come November, it will mean Ron is finally home with his family and that...will be worth 10 times more happiness than saddness.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Descartes Was Right
"I am accustomed to sleep and in my dreams to imagine the same things that lunatics imagine when awake." ~Rene Descartes, "Meditations on First Philosophy"
So, The Kid is back! I can't remember if I ever wrote you all about this or not, but at one point months or years ago (they all blend together now) I was having these dreams about Kid Rock. Yes, I know, what normal person dreams about Kid Rock? They were always very secure, loving dreams...nothing strange. I was always dating him and the dream itself envoked a warm, secure loved feeling with him and about him.
I know, totally off the wall. So, if you read my post from last night, you know the state I was in as I drifted off to sleep. I can't remember if we were in a limo or on a couch, but he was sitting legs spread, arms hanging at his side (well, one was hanging at his side, the other was wrapped around my back), chin to chest asleep and I was lying sideways on the couch/limo seat with my head on chest, also asleep. I remember feeling very loved, secure, safe and "home".
Please tell me....WHY KID ROCK?!?!?!?!?!?!? Couldn't it have been the guy from Desperate Housewives? I watched that show last night. How about Patrick Dempsey from Grey's Anatomy? I watched that too! NOTHING even remotely involving Kid rock in longer than I can remember...no glimpses of him on t.v., no him randomly shuffling himself through my iPod, no bouts of Kid on my iTunes....WHERE DID HE COME FROM?!?!?!?!? If God's trying to tell me something, is there any reason he's picking Kid Rock?!?!?! And what the heck is it?!?!?!?
Well, all I can hope is that he drift out the way he came in. I swore he was gone, out of my dreams for good! Now this. It's always an extremely memorable dream because of the feeling. Just thought I'd give you guys all the clues that I'm TOTALLY losing my mind! :)
So, The Kid is back! I can't remember if I ever wrote you all about this or not, but at one point months or years ago (they all blend together now) I was having these dreams about Kid Rock. Yes, I know, what normal person dreams about Kid Rock? They were always very secure, loving dreams...nothing strange. I was always dating him and the dream itself envoked a warm, secure loved feeling with him and about him.
I know, totally off the wall. So, if you read my post from last night, you know the state I was in as I drifted off to sleep. I can't remember if we were in a limo or on a couch, but he was sitting legs spread, arms hanging at his side (well, one was hanging at his side, the other was wrapped around my back), chin to chest asleep and I was lying sideways on the couch/limo seat with my head on chest, also asleep. I remember feeling very loved, secure, safe and "home".
Please tell me....WHY KID ROCK?!?!?!?!?!?!? Couldn't it have been the guy from Desperate Housewives? I watched that show last night. How about Patrick Dempsey from Grey's Anatomy? I watched that too! NOTHING even remotely involving Kid rock in longer than I can remember...no glimpses of him on t.v., no him randomly shuffling himself through my iPod, no bouts of Kid on my iTunes....WHERE DID HE COME FROM?!?!?!?!? If God's trying to tell me something, is there any reason he's picking Kid Rock?!?!?! And what the heck is it?!?!?!?
Well, all I can hope is that he drift out the way he came in. I swore he was gone, out of my dreams for good! Now this. It's always an extremely memorable dream because of the feeling. Just thought I'd give you guys all the clues that I'm TOTALLY losing my mind! :)
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
Mother Teresa once said, "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty." How accurate a sentiment from a woman who vowed poverty and celibacy. Perhaps pledging your life to God fulfills the parts of your life that aches for another to share yours.
How about an aching to share anything with another person unrelated to me? I'm sure many in post-college life struggle with the question of how to make friends after college. Besides the work place, what are your other options? It occurred to me last night that should I ever find myself in an emergency, such as being stranded and needing a ride, feeling down and needing a shoulder (real live person shoulder)or the like, I wouldn't have anyone to rely on to call. Remember being in college and knowing you could call a close friend on any given night and they'd come, no string attached? Now adult life as intervened and there are families, obligations and distance to thwart the nights of grabbing a bottle from atop the fridge to soothe your grief and without a word being spoken watching as a friend grabs hers and sits down beside you. Um, unfortunately that night ended with Goldschlagger out the nose, thus turning a somber grieving into fits of laughter, but also reaffirming that should a boyfriend break up with you, a teacher fail or embarass you, a rough day in general in the life of a college student, someone would always be going through it with you, by your side.
As adulthood sets in, the natural order of things determines we look for the by-your-side person to be found in a member of the opposite sex. Through thick and thin, for better or worse, your friend will share everything in your life and be your shoulder, as you are for them. Where does that leave those of us living permanently in the unnatural order section of things? Your friends find their person, and rightly and thusly, are no longer your person first and foremost. It doesn't mean they are no longer there for you, there's just a person and a life completely not involving you that suddenly comes before you. Similar, I'm guessing to spouses dealing with having a child suddenly in their lives. In the same vein, there are new friends, new circles which become more pertinant to where your friends are in their lives.
The ebb and flow of life continues, but the jetty remains. Slightly changed, weathered and beaten, but right where it started, watching the waves come and go. The overall look of the sea doesn't change, but the waves are never the same. When the jetty stops to look around and realizes the waves have moved on, but it has remained unflowing, does it mourn?
Last Friday night, a co-worker asked me what was new with me, after we covered the flowing of her life, and there was nothing. Jokingly, she said "Well, it's been nice talking to you.", but who could blame her if she wandered away. We decided I needed to work on having a story to tell, but how? Where do the stories come from? How do you ebb and flow when you are not an ocean, but a jetty? When you are living a life which has seemingly moved backwards, instead of forward. When you come home to your parents, in a world of people with their own spouses, houses and lives with no anyone to spend you free time with? The frequent feeling that your life has no living, no meaning, no purpose and...to paraphrase a cheesy song lyric, "that life has passed you by". To be The Forgotten in a world of The Blessed. To be surrounded with love and caring, with friends aplenty, yet to feel so terribly alone and abandoned? To be so turned around and confused that you no longer know which way to go to get you back on track. The days fly by and the nights drag on forever - well, you guys know I've never had trouble really sleeping, but the time between retiring and sleep is agonizing. The heartache is palpable and I pray every day the desperation is unnoticable.
It sounds so, depressing as I read it, and perhaps deep down, it is. I do not often dwell on it and most days don't even feel it, but I know it's there. I continue to peel away the layers of emotion in hopes of ridding myself of them altogether. It is in the few minutes between awake and asleep I allow myself to delve deep and explore, in the hopes of being enlightened to help turn my life into something more emotionally fulfilling. Perhaps between self-analysis and the pleading, begging prayer the wasting away of my life, that I mourn with such a heavy heart, will subside.
How about an aching to share anything with another person unrelated to me? I'm sure many in post-college life struggle with the question of how to make friends after college. Besides the work place, what are your other options? It occurred to me last night that should I ever find myself in an emergency, such as being stranded and needing a ride, feeling down and needing a shoulder (real live person shoulder)or the like, I wouldn't have anyone to rely on to call. Remember being in college and knowing you could call a close friend on any given night and they'd come, no string attached? Now adult life as intervened and there are families, obligations and distance to thwart the nights of grabbing a bottle from atop the fridge to soothe your grief and without a word being spoken watching as a friend grabs hers and sits down beside you. Um, unfortunately that night ended with Goldschlagger out the nose, thus turning a somber grieving into fits of laughter, but also reaffirming that should a boyfriend break up with you, a teacher fail or embarass you, a rough day in general in the life of a college student, someone would always be going through it with you, by your side.
As adulthood sets in, the natural order of things determines we look for the by-your-side person to be found in a member of the opposite sex. Through thick and thin, for better or worse, your friend will share everything in your life and be your shoulder, as you are for them. Where does that leave those of us living permanently in the unnatural order section of things? Your friends find their person, and rightly and thusly, are no longer your person first and foremost. It doesn't mean they are no longer there for you, there's just a person and a life completely not involving you that suddenly comes before you. Similar, I'm guessing to spouses dealing with having a child suddenly in their lives. In the same vein, there are new friends, new circles which become more pertinant to where your friends are in their lives.
The ebb and flow of life continues, but the jetty remains. Slightly changed, weathered and beaten, but right where it started, watching the waves come and go. The overall look of the sea doesn't change, but the waves are never the same. When the jetty stops to look around and realizes the waves have moved on, but it has remained unflowing, does it mourn?
Last Friday night, a co-worker asked me what was new with me, after we covered the flowing of her life, and there was nothing. Jokingly, she said "Well, it's been nice talking to you.", but who could blame her if she wandered away. We decided I needed to work on having a story to tell, but how? Where do the stories come from? How do you ebb and flow when you are not an ocean, but a jetty? When you are living a life which has seemingly moved backwards, instead of forward. When you come home to your parents, in a world of people with their own spouses, houses and lives with no anyone to spend you free time with? The frequent feeling that your life has no living, no meaning, no purpose and...to paraphrase a cheesy song lyric, "that life has passed you by". To be The Forgotten in a world of The Blessed. To be surrounded with love and caring, with friends aplenty, yet to feel so terribly alone and abandoned? To be so turned around and confused that you no longer know which way to go to get you back on track. The days fly by and the nights drag on forever - well, you guys know I've never had trouble really sleeping, but the time between retiring and sleep is agonizing. The heartache is palpable and I pray every day the desperation is unnoticable.
It sounds so, depressing as I read it, and perhaps deep down, it is. I do not often dwell on it and most days don't even feel it, but I know it's there. I continue to peel away the layers of emotion in hopes of ridding myself of them altogether. It is in the few minutes between awake and asleep I allow myself to delve deep and explore, in the hopes of being enlightened to help turn my life into something more emotionally fulfilling. Perhaps between self-analysis and the pleading, begging prayer the wasting away of my life, that I mourn with such a heavy heart, will subside.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
A Better Place
Hey Everyone!
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month! There are not many charities I actively support (or maybe I should say consistently), but this is one of them! Even more so lately, as my mom's best friend, Lois begins her radiation treatments after a lumpectomy for Breast Cancer. We still don't know if it has officially spread and whether or not she will need chemo, but she seems to be handling everything fairly well.
I began supporting Breast Cancer charities and causes after my friend Erin passed away from Breast Cancer. I can't believe she's been gone for so many years already! I miss her often and wonder what she would be doing, what crazy stories she'd have to tell or how much larger her circle of friends would have grown. Erin had a way of drawing people to her. She was so young (35, right Don? AJ? I always forget her exact age) and full of life. This picture was one I took in 1993 when I visited Erin in California after I graduated high school. This is just off Fisherman's Wharf. There are seals on the rocks out in the water - not that you can see them, but trust me, they were there. :) It's one of the many places that when I think about Erin, I picture her spending her time these days.
Mammograms. Pink Ribbons. Awareness. Happy October!
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month! There are not many charities I actively support (or maybe I should say consistently), but this is one of them! Even more so lately, as my mom's best friend, Lois begins her radiation treatments after a lumpectomy for Breast Cancer. We still don't know if it has officially spread and whether or not she will need chemo, but she seems to be handling everything fairly well.
I began supporting Breast Cancer charities and causes after my friend Erin passed away from Breast Cancer. I can't believe she's been gone for so many years already! I miss her often and wonder what she would be doing, what crazy stories she'd have to tell or how much larger her circle of friends would have grown. Erin had a way of drawing people to her. She was so young (35, right Don? AJ? I always forget her exact age) and full of life. This picture was one I took in 1993 when I visited Erin in California after I graduated high school. This is just off Fisherman's Wharf. There are seals on the rocks out in the water - not that you can see them, but trust me, they were there. :) It's one of the many places that when I think about Erin, I picture her spending her time these days.
Mammograms. Pink Ribbons. Awareness. Happy October!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Yo-Yo Clothes
Hey Everyone!
I got a question for ya....How long should I keep clothes that no longer fit?
Here's the dilemma:
Since last winter, I went from a size 10 to a size 12 (don't ask me how, I work out, eat alot less then I used to and I'm active again most of my day). when I first moved home3 years ago this past January, I was a size 8. I kept one or two pairs of my size 8 jeans, a few medium tops and got rid of most everything else the last time I cleaned my closets. For the start of the fall, I've had to buy clothes so I don't have to work naked. I still have mostly size 10 clothes and I'm running again to get in shape for a 5K run in May.
Should I give in and admit defeat by getting rid of my size 10 clothes or should I find a place to store them showing faith in myself I can train and diet to fit back into them. I'm in such a qunadry. Anyone have suggestions?
I got a question for ya....How long should I keep clothes that no longer fit?
Here's the dilemma:
Since last winter, I went from a size 10 to a size 12 (don't ask me how, I work out, eat alot less then I used to and I'm active again most of my day). when I first moved home3 years ago this past January, I was a size 8. I kept one or two pairs of my size 8 jeans, a few medium tops and got rid of most everything else the last time I cleaned my closets. For the start of the fall, I've had to buy clothes so I don't have to work naked. I still have mostly size 10 clothes and I'm running again to get in shape for a 5K run in May.
Should I give in and admit defeat by getting rid of my size 10 clothes or should I find a place to store them showing faith in myself I can train and diet to fit back into them. I'm in such a qunadry. Anyone have suggestions?
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Bill Engvall ALMOST Got It Right
Hey Everyone!
I just thought I'd let you know I think Bill Engvall ALMOST got it right. For those of you who don't know who Bill Engvall is, I'll enlighten you. Bill Engvall is a comedian who has been on both Blue Collar Comedy Tours. He does a skit about how stupid people should wear a sign, so we know they're coming. The way he usually starts his skit is, "I hate stupid people". He was SO close. He should've left out the word stupid.
I Hate People is a phrase I say very often. I feel I say it more and more and lately, I'm even starting to believe it. It's either that, I'm cranky and bitter OR I'm encountering more and more people who are irritating, annoying and should be slapped upside the head and sent to an island to live with all the other people I hate...thereby making the world a better place. Instead of a long drawn out paragraph story of all the people I hate, I thought I'd cut into less of my "I need to get out of my head...and hormones...and go to sleep" time and use the hour I have remaining on my laptop battery wisely and just do it in a Top Ten (or so) List Form. And now.....People I Hate (well, the list of people I hate today):
* whiney athletes
* gymnasts ('cuz today, I hate all the ones I see daily)
* coaches who practice WAY too long
* secretaries who are stupid and want to make me do twice as much work because it makes them feel better.
* people with babies who seem to want to keep reminding me how wonderful it is to have babies, blah, blah, blah...YES, I get it. An absolute freakin' blessing. I haven't been blessed. I may never be blessed. Rub it in. (I hate you people!) (Aim, this doesn't mean you. You underestimate your daughter. You tell me she whines, cries and hits you - I still think that was funny - whenever I see her she's an angel, but I appreciate your candor! :) )
* people who can't let go of relationships and seem to torture themselves (namely, me)
* people who propose on Christmas Day and are getting married
* doctor's office workers. What makes you think that when I call you with a medical question, which was obviously important or I wouldn't have called, and involved strange bodily function things that it's o.k. to call me back almost 24 hours later?!?!?! Glad I wasn't dying. While I'm on the subject, don't say "if you leave a message after 4 o'clock, your message will not be returned until the following business day" when my first message was at 12:30 Monday, you returned that call at 10:30 Tuesday morning and I'm still waiting for a return call from my 2:00 today message. Just be honest and tell me you'll figure out if I'm important and if I haven't died or gone to the ER before you get around to it, you'll call me back sometime this week - Be optimistic.
* whatever person took all the bottled water out of the fridge and never replaced it leaving me parched! (again, probably me)
* The freakin' cat who just decides some days he'll sleep here and some days he won't. When did this start? What, suddenly the kitchen floor is better than the spot next to me?!?!? (Yes, I know, technically not a person, but I'm on a roll here!)
* people who obviously have such exciting lives they can't update their blog every day. I have no life, throw me a bone people would ya?!?!?! ;)
* anyone driving 5-10 miles under the speed limit when I can't pass you. Read the speed limit signs people!
* the pig-goat (Again, technically not a person, but he/she makes me smile and it hasn't been around letely!)
well, I guess that's it for now. I'm sure there are many more people I hate...like self-absorbed people who think they are so much more important than you that it's o.k. to run you over with a shopping cart, or those people who roll through stop signs while you're coming at them so you don't know if they're rolling to turn after you or if they're just going to plow right into you...but these people haven't really made me hate them today, so I'll have to save them for another day. Won't you guys be SO glad when the doctor finally calls me back and we can get my freakin' hormones back to tolerable. Believe me, I will be at the TOP of that list!
I hope you guys do not encounter any of the people you hate today. If so, do what I do and look at someone (preferably someone you are with) and say, "I hate people". You'd be surprised how much better you feel. Comments are open, add your own! I'd love to hate them too! :)
I just thought I'd let you know I think Bill Engvall ALMOST got it right. For those of you who don't know who Bill Engvall is, I'll enlighten you. Bill Engvall is a comedian who has been on both Blue Collar Comedy Tours. He does a skit about how stupid people should wear a sign, so we know they're coming. The way he usually starts his skit is, "I hate stupid people". He was SO close. He should've left out the word stupid.
I Hate People is a phrase I say very often. I feel I say it more and more and lately, I'm even starting to believe it. It's either that, I'm cranky and bitter OR I'm encountering more and more people who are irritating, annoying and should be slapped upside the head and sent to an island to live with all the other people I hate...thereby making the world a better place. Instead of a long drawn out paragraph story of all the people I hate, I thought I'd cut into less of my "I need to get out of my head...and hormones...and go to sleep" time and use the hour I have remaining on my laptop battery wisely and just do it in a Top Ten (or so) List Form. And now.....People I Hate (well, the list of people I hate today):
* whiney athletes
* gymnasts ('cuz today, I hate all the ones I see daily)
* coaches who practice WAY too long
* secretaries who are stupid and want to make me do twice as much work because it makes them feel better.
* people with babies who seem to want to keep reminding me how wonderful it is to have babies, blah, blah, blah...YES, I get it. An absolute freakin' blessing. I haven't been blessed. I may never be blessed. Rub it in. (I hate you people!) (Aim, this doesn't mean you. You underestimate your daughter. You tell me she whines, cries and hits you - I still think that was funny - whenever I see her she's an angel, but I appreciate your candor! :) )
* people who can't let go of relationships and seem to torture themselves (namely, me)
* people who propose on Christmas Day and are getting married
* doctor's office workers. What makes you think that when I call you with a medical question, which was obviously important or I wouldn't have called, and involved strange bodily function things that it's o.k. to call me back almost 24 hours later?!?!?! Glad I wasn't dying. While I'm on the subject, don't say "if you leave a message after 4 o'clock, your message will not be returned until the following business day" when my first message was at 12:30 Monday, you returned that call at 10:30 Tuesday morning and I'm still waiting for a return call from my 2:00 today message. Just be honest and tell me you'll figure out if I'm important and if I haven't died or gone to the ER before you get around to it, you'll call me back sometime this week - Be optimistic.
* whatever person took all the bottled water out of the fridge and never replaced it leaving me parched! (again, probably me)
* The freakin' cat who just decides some days he'll sleep here and some days he won't. When did this start? What, suddenly the kitchen floor is better than the spot next to me?!?!? (Yes, I know, technically not a person, but I'm on a roll here!)
* people who obviously have such exciting lives they can't update their blog every day. I have no life, throw me a bone people would ya?!?!?! ;)
* anyone driving 5-10 miles under the speed limit when I can't pass you. Read the speed limit signs people!
* the pig-goat (Again, technically not a person, but he/she makes me smile and it hasn't been around letely!)
well, I guess that's it for now. I'm sure there are many more people I hate...like self-absorbed people who think they are so much more important than you that it's o.k. to run you over with a shopping cart, or those people who roll through stop signs while you're coming at them so you don't know if they're rolling to turn after you or if they're just going to plow right into you...but these people haven't really made me hate them today, so I'll have to save them for another day. Won't you guys be SO glad when the doctor finally calls me back and we can get my freakin' hormones back to tolerable. Believe me, I will be at the TOP of that list!
I hope you guys do not encounter any of the people you hate today. If so, do what I do and look at someone (preferably someone you are with) and say, "I hate people". You'd be surprised how much better you feel. Comments are open, add your own! I'd love to hate them too! :)
Monday, September 26, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Life is never easy for those who dream. -Robert Weller
When you were growing up, was there ever a time, a moment when you said "I don't ever want to grow up to be that!"? Then one day, it hits you like a freight train some of those things are exactly what you've become?
Thursday, September 22, 2005
All My Friends Are Slackers
Hey All!
This is a blog to my new blogger friends, whom I so carefully added to my list and HAVE NOT WRITTEN!!!!! I SO enjoy your thoughts and comments and would love to douse myself in your intellect, humor and witticisms.
As for me, I will dwell in the house of my blog forever! :)
Night all!
P.S. Kare, I know you are busy moving, etc. I miss you and hope all is going well. Let me know when you are in and settled.
Trish and Reenie - Enjoy Irish weekend! Hey, how's this quote for our fall? "Friends just keep you away from TV." - King of Queens
Aim - Tell Aunt 'Liss I said Congrats!
True - I bogarted your Down The Shore picture and it is now my Desktop Wallpaper. I've gotten SO many compliments on it! :)
AJ - Where oh where is my little Atlanta Braves fan now? Oh where oh where can he be? Good thing you've still got the Falcons! :)
Pill - Living next to a bulldog! WTG! Just FYI - the pig/goat was roaming outside the fence again...I hope it doesn't wander off.
This is a blog to my new blogger friends, whom I so carefully added to my list and HAVE NOT WRITTEN!!!!! I SO enjoy your thoughts and comments and would love to douse myself in your intellect, humor and witticisms.
As for me, I will dwell in the house of my blog forever! :)
Night all!
P.S. Kare, I know you are busy moving, etc. I miss you and hope all is going well. Let me know when you are in and settled.
Trish and Reenie - Enjoy Irish weekend! Hey, how's this quote for our fall? "Friends just keep you away from TV." - King of Queens
Aim - Tell Aunt 'Liss I said Congrats!
True - I bogarted your Down The Shore picture and it is now my Desktop Wallpaper. I've gotten SO many compliments on it! :)
AJ - Where oh where is my little Atlanta Braves fan now? Oh where oh where can he be? Good thing you've still got the Falcons! :)
Pill - Living next to a bulldog! WTG! Just FYI - the pig/goat was roaming outside the fence again...I hope it doesn't wander off.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die. – Buffy The Vampire Slayer
I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die. – Buffy The Vampire Slayer
How do you instill this kind of intensity in a 16 year-old? More importantly how do stop a 30 year-old’s heart from wrenching just thinking about it? I’m not even sure how to write this blog, I’m just hoping the words will begin flowing once I start typing. I’m just at a loss as to how to convince a 16 year-old, R and his parents about the seriousness of R’s condition when he keeps getting a clean bill of health. I’m hoping today, I did everything right and when the ER sees him, his parents will relay everything I told them and R will be completely checked out. Just thinking about it makes me anxious and tense, when now, it is out of my hands.
I sent a 16 year-old football player to the emergency room today and my heart has just been broken ever since. I think he was having a stroke. I hope I’m wrong. Actually, hope is a very light word; I’ve been praying ever since he left me that I’m wrong. You all know how I am, so I know you’re not surprised when I say most of me feels for him, while the left over parts of me keep analyzing everything I did to make sure I did everything right. I am going to drive myself into an ulcer one of these days. Tonight might just be the night.
Travel back about two weeks ago. I was talking to our football coach who told me he was worried about one of his players, R. R had been diagnosed with Lyme’s disease before the season started and had lost about 30 or so pounds. Bell’s Palsy developed as a result of the Lyme’s disease. Many tests were done and he was cleared to play football, even though he was still having problems controlling the movement of his eyes. I relayed this conversation to Bill (my boss) the next day (Saturday) before Bill traveled to our away football game. Sunday, I opened the paper to find Bill and R on the front page as they were sending R to the ER for a “concussion”. The ER said it was mild and cleared him to return to play.
This past Friday night, R got hit in the 3rd Quarter and looked a bit “out of it” again. I tested him for a concussion following the game. He could not hold anyone’s gaze, as his eyes twitched and moved, but his balance and coordination tests were flawless. Since we have a “bye” this week, coach gave them off Monday. They had a light practice yesterday, watching film and doing some light play work. They were back in normal practice mode today. Coach called me to come to the Training Room to see R, as he was having head problems “bad”.
R was doing o.k. when I saw him, except he was holding his head saying he was having extreme pain through his temples. I called his dad, told him to come get him. Shortly after hanging up the phone, R began writhing from side to side because of the pain in his head. Then, it calmed down. He said he had the pain in spurts and now his chin felt numb. He could feel my touch and react to pain stimulus. His blood pressure and pulse were normal for post-participation. R told me he’d had trouble reading today. He could see the words, but they wouldn’t come out his mouth. I told him we were sending him to the ER and he went into fits of hyperventilating and crying. I tried to calm him, feeling this was only making his symptoms worse. We needed to get him looked at, ASAP. His parents walked in then. I talked to them about the signs. His father has constantly reassured us the R is fine. R wants to play football more than anything (and has for a few years) and I think his father just wants him to be fine and play football. Bill and I both were hoping for the last few weeks R’s parents would notice some of the little things we’ve noticed and take him for further tests. However, when a doctor tells you everything is fine, who are you to disagree and be proven wrong repeatedly? I think I finally got through to his mother that this was serious when I told her about the not being able to speak in class, but being able to read the words. There is something more than Lyme’s, Bell’s and concussion going on here. We need to know what that is. He left with his parents, hopefully for the ER. I think his father was opting for heading home first, to drop off one of the two cars they had, but the mom seemed to want to go right to the ER. Go Mom Go!
I just went online while preparing to write this blog and read the signs and symptoms of a stroke from the American Heart website. Now more than ever, I hope R is in a hospital bed somewhere undergoing tests. As I told his parents, I don’t care about R as a football player. I care about him as a person. In my head I thought, I just don’t want him to die or be seriously, debilitating ill when he was having signs which were supposed to warn us (him, family, friends, etc) to get him help.
I’ve decided I need to become closer with our doctors. I’d like someone I can talk to about these things when they happen; ask them how they convince parents, patients, etc. to seek help when they don’t want to; someone to question about the symptoms, differential diagnoses, etc.
I also think I need to learn to let go before I destroy me. I know I get overly maternal sometimes. I think I feel it internally more than I show it externally, which is good. I also try and separate my emotional feelings (especially emotional this week with some weird hormonal issues, not new to me, just not normal) from professionalism. Trying to have some bedside manner, without smothering or appearing cold. The balance is sometimes the hardest thing….so is the “leaving it at the office”. Being over analytical (I know, you guys never would have guessed it about me, right? ;) ), I beat myself up worrying about kids, making sure I did the right thing, second guessing myself and beating myself up over not doing what I would change in hindsight. I need to learn to learn from a situation, not beat myself up over it and then let it go. I’m trying to learn I can’t heal the world. I can’t control everything and then, revel in the peace I hope that brings.
As for now, keep your thoughts with R. I’ll let you know how he turns out.
How do you instill this kind of intensity in a 16 year-old? More importantly how do stop a 30 year-old’s heart from wrenching just thinking about it? I’m not even sure how to write this blog, I’m just hoping the words will begin flowing once I start typing. I’m just at a loss as to how to convince a 16 year-old, R and his parents about the seriousness of R’s condition when he keeps getting a clean bill of health. I’m hoping today, I did everything right and when the ER sees him, his parents will relay everything I told them and R will be completely checked out. Just thinking about it makes me anxious and tense, when now, it is out of my hands.
I sent a 16 year-old football player to the emergency room today and my heart has just been broken ever since. I think he was having a stroke. I hope I’m wrong. Actually, hope is a very light word; I’ve been praying ever since he left me that I’m wrong. You all know how I am, so I know you’re not surprised when I say most of me feels for him, while the left over parts of me keep analyzing everything I did to make sure I did everything right. I am going to drive myself into an ulcer one of these days. Tonight might just be the night.
Travel back about two weeks ago. I was talking to our football coach who told me he was worried about one of his players, R. R had been diagnosed with Lyme’s disease before the season started and had lost about 30 or so pounds. Bell’s Palsy developed as a result of the Lyme’s disease. Many tests were done and he was cleared to play football, even though he was still having problems controlling the movement of his eyes. I relayed this conversation to Bill (my boss) the next day (Saturday) before Bill traveled to our away football game. Sunday, I opened the paper to find Bill and R on the front page as they were sending R to the ER for a “concussion”. The ER said it was mild and cleared him to return to play.
This past Friday night, R got hit in the 3rd Quarter and looked a bit “out of it” again. I tested him for a concussion following the game. He could not hold anyone’s gaze, as his eyes twitched and moved, but his balance and coordination tests were flawless. Since we have a “bye” this week, coach gave them off Monday. They had a light practice yesterday, watching film and doing some light play work. They were back in normal practice mode today. Coach called me to come to the Training Room to see R, as he was having head problems “bad”.
R was doing o.k. when I saw him, except he was holding his head saying he was having extreme pain through his temples. I called his dad, told him to come get him. Shortly after hanging up the phone, R began writhing from side to side because of the pain in his head. Then, it calmed down. He said he had the pain in spurts and now his chin felt numb. He could feel my touch and react to pain stimulus. His blood pressure and pulse were normal for post-participation. R told me he’d had trouble reading today. He could see the words, but they wouldn’t come out his mouth. I told him we were sending him to the ER and he went into fits of hyperventilating and crying. I tried to calm him, feeling this was only making his symptoms worse. We needed to get him looked at, ASAP. His parents walked in then. I talked to them about the signs. His father has constantly reassured us the R is fine. R wants to play football more than anything (and has for a few years) and I think his father just wants him to be fine and play football. Bill and I both were hoping for the last few weeks R’s parents would notice some of the little things we’ve noticed and take him for further tests. However, when a doctor tells you everything is fine, who are you to disagree and be proven wrong repeatedly? I think I finally got through to his mother that this was serious when I told her about the not being able to speak in class, but being able to read the words. There is something more than Lyme’s, Bell’s and concussion going on here. We need to know what that is. He left with his parents, hopefully for the ER. I think his father was opting for heading home first, to drop off one of the two cars they had, but the mom seemed to want to go right to the ER. Go Mom Go!
I just went online while preparing to write this blog and read the signs and symptoms of a stroke from the American Heart website. Now more than ever, I hope R is in a hospital bed somewhere undergoing tests. As I told his parents, I don’t care about R as a football player. I care about him as a person. In my head I thought, I just don’t want him to die or be seriously, debilitating ill when he was having signs which were supposed to warn us (him, family, friends, etc) to get him help.
I’ve decided I need to become closer with our doctors. I’d like someone I can talk to about these things when they happen; ask them how they convince parents, patients, etc. to seek help when they don’t want to; someone to question about the symptoms, differential diagnoses, etc.
I also think I need to learn to let go before I destroy me. I know I get overly maternal sometimes. I think I feel it internally more than I show it externally, which is good. I also try and separate my emotional feelings (especially emotional this week with some weird hormonal issues, not new to me, just not normal) from professionalism. Trying to have some bedside manner, without smothering or appearing cold. The balance is sometimes the hardest thing….so is the “leaving it at the office”. Being over analytical (I know, you guys never would have guessed it about me, right? ;) ), I beat myself up worrying about kids, making sure I did the right thing, second guessing myself and beating myself up over not doing what I would change in hindsight. I need to learn to learn from a situation, not beat myself up over it and then let it go. I’m trying to learn I can’t heal the world. I can’t control everything and then, revel in the peace I hope that brings.
As for now, keep your thoughts with R. I’ll let you know how he turns out.
Monday, September 19, 2005
The Man With Which I Share My Bed
Hey All! Not a whole lot new today either. Kinda boring. I'm trying to train to run the Susan G. Komen Race For a Cure Mother's Day weekend. It just seems I can't get into the run everyday thing. In the "begin training" guide, it tells you to run 2 minutes, then walk 1 minute. Today, this lovely formula had me doing 1.25 miles in just under 20 minutes. I've GOT to get faster! :) With all this training, the most important thing is to get LOTS of rest and very good nights sleep. However, given this is the "Little Man" I share my bed with, is it no wonder my double bed feels more like a twin?!?!?! :) Shouldn't complain...it's NICE to be loved! :) :)
Sunday, September 18, 2005
A Few Of My Favorite Pictures.....
Hey Everybody! Since I don't really have anything exciting to write, I thought I'd post a few of my favorite pictures! This is one Trish took at her mother's birthday party one time when I came up from N.C. This is one of her step-brothers. (Trish, David? Danny? I can tell them apart NOW, but I couldn't when they were younger!)
KareNJenn
This is Karen and I Memorial Day of some year. Amy and I stopped over after graduation at Salisbury a few years after I graduated.
TrishWithHats
This is Trish in all the hats she thinks should have been hers, plus the hat Amy brought me back from the Bahamas.
A Few Of My Favorite Things
Hey Everyone! I just thought I'd post a few of my favorite pictures. This is Trish and I at Point to Point in Delaware 2002.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
"Y"? Because we like you!
I must really like words ending in "y" Here's Today's non-word!
trafficy (trf'k')
1. (adj.) Describing a period of heightened traffic.
trafficy (trf'k')
1. (adj.) Describing a period of heightened traffic.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Let's Make Stuff Up!
Hey Everyone!
Trish just started a blog! Many of you know, the Murph (as she was formerly known! :) Well, we still call her that, as it's now a middle name, but technically, her new last name is German! hehehehehe ) Anyway, feel free to check her out www.irishmurphdawg.blogspot.com.
Her latest blog is about NOT using dialoging as a word, since it is not one. If you peruse the comments section you will see I told her I will join her cruisade for People Against Using Dialoging As A Verb, if she'll let me continue to make up other words. I just love throwing non-words into a sentance. She said I could, so I found this website www.unwords.com that has a WHOLE dictionary of unwords! I decided to randomly post some and here is my first one. I picked this one because I decided I wanted to say a non-work with an "m" sound and this one just struck me as GREAT!!!! (Probably because it reminded me of cheese and I LOVE cheese!)Enjoy your non-word. Feel free to make up your own! :)
melty (ml-t)
1. (adj.) Of a melted consistancy; The state of being partially melted. This term has been used recently in televised Taco Bell ads for the "Cheesy Gordita Crunch."
Example: The s'mores were deliciously melty".
Trish just started a blog! Many of you know, the Murph (as she was formerly known! :) Well, we still call her that, as it's now a middle name, but technically, her new last name is German! hehehehehe ) Anyway, feel free to check her out www.irishmurphdawg.blogspot.com.
Her latest blog is about NOT using dialoging as a word, since it is not one. If you peruse the comments section you will see I told her I will join her cruisade for People Against Using Dialoging As A Verb, if she'll let me continue to make up other words. I just love throwing non-words into a sentance. She said I could, so I found this website www.unwords.com that has a WHOLE dictionary of unwords! I decided to randomly post some and here is my first one. I picked this one because I decided I wanted to say a non-work with an "m" sound and this one just struck me as GREAT!!!! (Probably because it reminded me of cheese and I LOVE cheese!)Enjoy your non-word. Feel free to make up your own! :)
melty (ml-t)
1. (adj.) Of a melted consistancy; The state of being partially melted. This term has been used recently in televised Taco Bell ads for the "Cheesy Gordita Crunch."
Example: The s'mores were deliciously melty".
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Like, I'm getting all misty
I know this is a bit late, but I just learned of it. The Title is a Quote from Maynard G. Krebs (The "G" Stood for Walter. He was named after his Aunt.).
R.I.P. Bob Denver Died Sept 2, 2005
Gilligan's Island is wherever you want it to be in your mind. -Bob Denver
And just so you'll always have them.....
"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip,
That started from this tropic port,
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day,
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
The Minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle,
With Gilligan, The Skipper too, the millionaire and his wife,
The movie star, the professor and Mary Ann,
Here on Gilligans Isle. "
R.I.P. Bob Denver Died Sept 2, 2005
Gilligan's Island is wherever you want it to be in your mind. -Bob Denver
And just so you'll always have them.....
"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip,
That started from this tropic port,
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day,
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
The Minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle,
With Gilligan, The Skipper too, the millionaire and his wife,
The movie star, the professor and Mary Ann,
Here on Gilligans Isle. "
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Knees of My Heart
Since pre-season is now officially OVER, I scheduled myself for a Deep-Tissue Massage today. It was wonderful!
The thing people don't often realize about deep-tissue massage is that it is not completely relaxing and comfortable. To me, even this is wonderful. I may be the only person alive who analyzes a massage while they are getting it. I think about the muscle it is massaging, I stay very aware to see where my knots are and I even am keenly aware of my massuse's technique. This is my favorite type of massage for one (well, two is seems now) very specific reason...the giant knot permanently present in my trapezius muscle, from my neck to my shoulder on the right side of my body. When I worked at Lenape in 1996 I began losing feeling in my right hand. I saw my general doctor, who advised getting a massage to relieve the giant knot, thereby restoring feeling to my hand. I always know it is time to go back when the tingling begins in my pinkie and ring finger on my right hand. I say it is now two reasons because as Ali (I usually go see someone new each time, just because I have to see whomever fits into my schedule) found a medium-sized knot in my left shoudler, in the exact same spot. I also seem to have added lots of little knots all over my body - along my shins, the arches of my feet and the ENTIRE trapezius muscle, in such places as under my shoulder blade, along my shoulder blade and along my rib cage including MY ARMPIT!
Seriously, who gets knots in their armpit?!?!?!? The thing I look forward to most now, besides knowing someone is going to push, prod, dig and mash into the lump (now two) in my shoulder(s) is when they massage my knees. I know that sounds very strange. I mean, it's not like you EVER hear anyone say "Geez! I'm so stressed and tense. I need a massage on my knees."! If I hadn't ever had a massage, I might never ever have known I like having my knees massaged. I could've spent my whole life with the tension just building up and building up in my knees. And then what would've happened?!?!?!?! The first time I went to a professional massuer and they rubbed my quads (thighs) and then began rubbing my knees I thought, "How odd! A massage on your knees!". After he finished the first knee I realized how much bettter it felt than my untouched knee. When he got to the second leg, I could actually feel tension just melting away. Who knew there was tension there?!?!?!? It never occurs to me again until I'm on my way to my massage appointment. Then, secretly I begin saying "Oh goody! My knees will feel SO good soon."
We all know I am a bit "unlike most other people" (some may even venture to use the word strange :) ), but I know now I am not alone. Jill went with me today and had a massage in another room, by another person while I was having mine. In the car on the way home, I told her I secretly enjoy the massage on my knees. "Me too!" she replied. "Who ever thought you held tension in your knees?!?!?"
I am off to drink the gallons and gallons of water to flush the toxins out of my body and to keep my muscles from aching and bruising from the immense workout it has undergone so far today. I am also going to head out to pick up some things from the store for our family get together tomorrow. I'm so excited, 'cuz I've got full functioning, feeling good, relaxed....knees. :)
The thing people don't often realize about deep-tissue massage is that it is not completely relaxing and comfortable. To me, even this is wonderful. I may be the only person alive who analyzes a massage while they are getting it. I think about the muscle it is massaging, I stay very aware to see where my knots are and I even am keenly aware of my massuse's technique. This is my favorite type of massage for one (well, two is seems now) very specific reason...the giant knot permanently present in my trapezius muscle, from my neck to my shoulder on the right side of my body. When I worked at Lenape in 1996 I began losing feeling in my right hand. I saw my general doctor, who advised getting a massage to relieve the giant knot, thereby restoring feeling to my hand. I always know it is time to go back when the tingling begins in my pinkie and ring finger on my right hand. I say it is now two reasons because as Ali (I usually go see someone new each time, just because I have to see whomever fits into my schedule) found a medium-sized knot in my left shoudler, in the exact same spot. I also seem to have added lots of little knots all over my body - along my shins, the arches of my feet and the ENTIRE trapezius muscle, in such places as under my shoulder blade, along my shoulder blade and along my rib cage including MY ARMPIT!
Seriously, who gets knots in their armpit?!?!?!? The thing I look forward to most now, besides knowing someone is going to push, prod, dig and mash into the lump (now two) in my shoulder(s) is when they massage my knees. I know that sounds very strange. I mean, it's not like you EVER hear anyone say "Geez! I'm so stressed and tense. I need a massage on my knees."! If I hadn't ever had a massage, I might never ever have known I like having my knees massaged. I could've spent my whole life with the tension just building up and building up in my knees. And then what would've happened?!?!?!?! The first time I went to a professional massuer and they rubbed my quads (thighs) and then began rubbing my knees I thought, "How odd! A massage on your knees!". After he finished the first knee I realized how much bettter it felt than my untouched knee. When he got to the second leg, I could actually feel tension just melting away. Who knew there was tension there?!?!?!? It never occurs to me again until I'm on my way to my massage appointment. Then, secretly I begin saying "Oh goody! My knees will feel SO good soon."
We all know I am a bit "unlike most other people" (some may even venture to use the word strange :) ), but I know now I am not alone. Jill went with me today and had a massage in another room, by another person while I was having mine. In the car on the way home, I told her I secretly enjoy the massage on my knees. "Me too!" she replied. "Who ever thought you held tension in your knees?!?!?"
I am off to drink the gallons and gallons of water to flush the toxins out of my body and to keep my muscles from aching and bruising from the immense workout it has undergone so far today. I am also going to head out to pick up some things from the store for our family get together tomorrow. I'm so excited, 'cuz I've got full functioning, feeling good, relaxed....knees. :)
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