Monday, May 30, 2005

Hey All!

Happy Memorial Day!

I have been debating all day as to what to write about today. I'm a bit weepy, emotional, down and spent over certain events from yesterday (all boy related, which as you all know either causes or brings out all sorts of self-doubt, ugly duckling feelings in me) and in a moment of better judgement have decided that until I am properly rested (and my liver begins to forgive me for two days of pretending I'm 21 again), I will hold in the emotions I'm wrestling with and just give some positive, happier thoughts that are running around in the mix.

  • A very HUGE "shout out" to Kare for putting the picture of them at Seacrets on her blog. I almost felt like I was there. I missed not being there with you guys this year and hope you had a fantastic time!!!

  • Due to working, my Memorial Day plans were a bit different this year. I tried to make the most of it by finally attending a "Annual Grillin' and Chillin'" at Trish's house. Here's to pacing yourself, hanging out with the 'rents, being told I have nice legs (even if it was by my mother....oh...and our friend Heidi), a nice couple days, the "redneck" bathroom, "derka, derka, sherpa, sherpa", Czech Republic (all jokes made out of love, Jilly Baby! :) ), jello shots, sharing a bed with my best friend (and her husband) - which I said I'd never mention, 'cuz it sounded weird, but it was all innocent, so why not?!? ;) and hanging with the girls at the diner Sunday morning.

  • To the SALISBURY UNIVERSITY SEAGULLS MEN'S LACROSSE TEAM for their 3rd straight NCAA Division III Championship!!!!!! (and the cause of my sunburn!)

  • To the SU Foundation for a great Alumni BBQ. I'm not sure who to thank for the beer...I think it was the parents. I know the parents were at least responsible for the tap, because one parent said, "I'd better be next in line for a beer or I'm taking the tap back!"

  • Thank you to Harry and The Crease Monkeys for their outstanding hospitality to the wayward children Ed led astray....and right into The Crease Monkey tent! (keep your eyes out on www.creasemonkeys.com for the pictures Harry took while we were there!Hopefully we'll make the weekend "cut" onto the site.)

  • A personal Thanks to Ed. Not only for being so nice to the girls in line at the Port-A-Pot and "leading us astray" into his company, but for proving to the two of us who were single that good-looking, nice, well-mannered/polite, intelligent, athletic and "old" (read 30) guys do exist. Dinner was great, but you blew us all away by simply standing up when we walked to the table. Pulling out the chair and picking up the tab were just icing.

  • To The Pill, who kinda understood something was wrong last night and today, but understanding when I danced around the issue. I hope I explained it totally wasn't personal towards you...no one can help that guys are attracted to them and not to other people - and for knowing I was happy for you and sad for myself at the same time. And thanks for not making me go further when I was trying to hard to hold back the tears this morning.

  • To my Little Man cat for not being all that mad I wasn't around Saturday night and for not taking up all the bed when I finally crashed last night. (oh yeah, and for not being all pushy with the "pet me" stuff! :) )

  • Finally, a little grillin' tonight with the fam, then (hopefully) a good night sleep to wash away the emotional mess I feel like I am today, a good workout in the morning, a little more repressing by hiding and back to work!

I hope you all had a fantastic Memorial Day weekend! They always end too soon. Two and a half more weeks until "Summer of Jenn" begins! :) :) Gonna be workin' on my tan and tryin' hard to turn into a beach bum! :) :)

Friday, May 27, 2005

I'm so happy today I'm almost giddy. No clue as to why. Oh wait, maybe it's the 80 DEGREE WEATHER we're having!!!!!! It's like Heaven out there. So, in honor of my "Bouncin' Round The Room" mood, here's some random thoughts I've been meaning to share....

  • Shout out to True (www.truejerseygirl.blogspot.com)! I should've shouted earlier, as I spent my Wednesday at Anderson Park in Montclair/Bloomsfield NJ standing in the pouring down rain watching our Boys' LAX team play one heck of a second round playoff game, albeit a losing one, against Montclair H.S. Anyway, True, I was thinkin' of ya as we drove down Watchung Ave.
  • Having a convertible in 80 degree weather almost makes you forget everything else.
  • Everything else like, this is only a break in a rainy 2-week period.
  • IT'S MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!
  • I'm working 2 hours today and just a spattering here and there this weekend as our track team practices for Nationals.
  • While I'm excited about the light work load over the holiday weekend, the having to be here at all put a damper in my Kare time (major tradgedy), as well as my floating raft AND Red Stripe time (both minor tradgedies) .
  • I'm going through withdrawl from seeing my favorite spring sport athletes. And they've only been gone one day.
  • Today I waited an hour and a half for a medicore tuna salad club sandwich. My dad's golf course has GOT to get their act together where the restaraunt is concerned.
  • So, I went on the stupid patch as BC. For as much as I hate seeing it and worrying about it falling off when I shower (or seeing it in a bathing suit)and as much as I hate to admit it, I feel like a whole new person!
  • I've been at the gym working out just about every day this week. The only day I missed, yesterday, resulted in an apparent abundance of energy which resulted in me being wide awake all night!
  • My "new" diet seems to be working too! Really no stomach issues to speak of since I adapted it as a lifestyle. YEA!!!!!
  • I Miss Mac and Cheese! It's the only thing that hasn't really "translated" well into the new diet.
  • Ever wanted to go hang out with your friends...really looked forward to it...and then were disappointed because of the way the night manifested? Yeah....me too. It's why I'm so back and forth about attending this party at Trish's this weekend. I'm afraid of the let down.
  • Our Boys' LAX coach and I both agree, we really miss college.
  • Payday Rocks! :)

So much for the random list! :) Lately, I've been feeling very hopeful, while at the same time a little frustrated at the prospect of a new relationship. It's not really that I have one in the works, but I'm ready and would love to find one that may actually not be screwed up from the start.(Kare, to quote Liz..."I want all that stupid old s*it...") Unfort., it creates a bit of a rampant field for my imagination. I'd like to try and keep it in check, just in case my dad is right and "there is no knight, no white horse".

The frustration comes in when contemplating where to find something like that. I guess it would start with finding a group of friends to hang out with, so I could actually leave the house every once in awhile for something other than working, working out or dinner with the 'rents (or as I've started calling them, the old people). But if you really haven't bonded with people at work (I like them, they just all have their own lives and I only know most of them superficially), then what to do to meet people to hang out and meet people with? Somehow, I just didn't think it was ever this hard before in my life. I can't tell if it's me, circumstances, or just the age we are now that makes it difficult. It's frustrating and a bit sad.

Hey! Only 30 minutes left 'til I get to go home! YEA! Well, I hope you all have a WONDERFUL Memorial Day. Stay safe! (And AJ, where's the pictures of Sara's wedding?!?!?!? You're killin' Me! :) :) )

(P.S. If in any comment, someone mentions going to church...be prepared for the wrath that will follow! :) )

Monday, May 23, 2005

1) Total volume of music files on my computer: A whole lot actually. I thought I was going to have to travel on a bus with out boys' LAX team today, so I updated my iPod to 600 songs! :)

2) Last CD I bought was: from Columbia House.
Tragic story about that in a "PCU" (movie) kind of way. You guys know my weird and umm...Kare...did you say it was awful? ;) taste in music. So this last time around I bought Ultimate Alabama, The Best of Bread and Rod Stewart's Greatest Hits. I was in a Bread kind of mood Thursday, so I threw it in the CD player. Today, I kept trying to eject the CD and it wouldn't come out. Now, I like Bread every now and again, but the thought of listening to it over and over again with nothing else was making me crazy! Luckily, after the 4th try, the CD came out! Whew!

3) Song playing right now is: Pictures of You by The Cure. I have my iTunes on shuffle, so who knows what may be next. :)

4) 5 songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order): There are way too many, so here are 5 I don't thing I've mentioned before:
Good Enough - Sarah McLaughlin - because it reminds me of Kare
Stripped - Depeche Mode - This one Reminds me of my neighbor's cousin. He used to and the song makes me feel taken care of, secure somehow. Like an older brother.)
Champagne Supernova - Oasis - Scott, my LAX player and "OASIS IS THE GREATEST BAND OF ALL TIME!" (SNL - Will Ferrell)
Dirty Work - Steely Dan - Erin
Forever In Blue Jeans - Neil Diamond - Jill? Any reason why this one made it? Dancing around our living room - age 6 or so? ;)


5) Which 5 people are you passing this baton to?: None. No one blogs but the person it came from! :)

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Karen - I swear I am not really cheating on you, even though I feel like I'm cheating on you. It's just that Denise writes on her blog every day! I always check yours first! :) So, from www.truejerseygirl.blogspot.com

Three names I go by:
1. Jenn
2. Yinn/Ginn
3. Miss Van Hee ('cuz I work in a high school)

Three screen names that I have had:
1. jlvhatc
2. MelancholyJenn
3. Blondie

Three things I like about myself:
1. Sense of Humor
2. My competitive nature
3. My big heart
(Denise - I wish I could consume large quantities of alcohol without falling down. I'm SO out of practice!)

Three things I don't like about myself:
1. Temper
2. Hormones
3. I get bored easily

Three parts of my heritage:
1. Irish
2. Scottish
3. Dutch

Three things that scare me:
1. the unknown
2. snakes
3. rats

Three of my everyday essentials:
1. Bottled Water
2. Carmex
3. Rx drugs! :)

Three things I am wearing right now:
1. White collar shirt
2. Red cotton shorts
3. NCAA ring (white gold)
(I kind of look like a 1950's gym teacher today! :) )

Three of my fave bands or musical artists:
1. Jimmy Buffett
2. Elton John (the old one, when he was fun!)
3. and the person I'll be spending my 30th birthday with, Neil Diamond! :)

Three of my favorite songs:
1. Lady by Little River Band
2. Closer by Nine inch Nails
3. Ballad of Billy The Kid by Billy Joel

Three new things I want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Fitting into all my size 10 clothes
2. Running a 5K
3. Joining a league of something sporty

Three things I want in a relationship:
1. Laughter
2. The ability to be goofy/unserious/fun
3. mutualism (Kare, it's my made up word for today! :) )

Two truths and a lie:
1. I'm a natural blonde
2. My BMW convertible is the best thing I've done
3. I'm gonna be sad when school ends in a couple of weeks

Three physical things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Eyes
2. Smile
3. The way they look in jeans

Three things I can't do without:
1. Family
2. Friends
3. Did I mention Rx drugs? ;)

Three of my fave hobbies:
1. Driving
2. Hanging out at the beach
3. Reading

Three places I want to go on vacation:
1. Grand Caymen
2. Australia
3. Trinidad/Tobago

Three things I just can't do:
1. Anything requiring willpower
2. a whole conversation without a bodily something mention
3. Drinking (Again, SOOO out of practice)

Three kids' names: (hypothetically speaking)
1. Jackson
2. Alexandra
3. I'd like to take a family name too, like maybe Griffen as a middle name, or Emma for Emmons, Jane or Elizabeth...all depends. I have many more girls names than boys.

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. Learn to surf
2. Mimic NL European Vacation by driving past and saying "Look! Big Ben! Parliment!"
3. Be published

Three celeb crushes:
1. I gotta say Patrick Dempsey but only b/c of Grey's Anatomy
2. Brad Pitt (he's gotten so much better as he got older)
3. Um...I don't think I have three!

Monday, May 16, 2005

I'm feeling uncreative. Well, at this moment. Who knows what I'll feel like in another minute or so. So, here's an idea stolen from another FOK (friend of Karen) and some guy with a talk show! :)

TOP TEN REASONS HORMONES SUCK

1. The complete disregard for "the right to face your accuser". How can I fight what's making me miserable if I can't see it?

2. The out-of-control feeling, both physically and emotionally. (Still having that cramping over the right side and I'm driving myself crazy! I'm so annoyed by me! :) )

3. The urge to "bond" with something. I've been surfing the Animal Resuce sites looking for something to "bond" with...which brings me to...

4. Crying over goofy stuff. Like the fact the dog at the AWA wants to know why everyone keeps passing by it's cage. I still cry just thinking about it.

5. Hovering between two different feelings. Today I was hovering between annoyed with everyone and teenage girl giddy. I fought off the annoyed thing pretty well, but it just made me more annoyed, 'cuz I felt sweet ans syrupy and all I wanted to do was be crochety. Luckily now I'm too tired to be giddy or annoyed! :)

6. The increase in my innate ability to overreact and take things personally. It's what I think upset me a bit Saturday at the night out with the girls.(Which inevitably leads to negative self-talk)

7. The urge to work out like crazy. (I ran pretty well tonight. Except I couldn't find any music on my ipod I wanted to listen to!)

8. Nausea followed by the urge to eat lots of salt and grease (um...which is good that I feel like I need to workout like crazy, I guess)

9. Stupid nest-y, want-to-cuddle, girlie feelings

10. Knowing that deep within me lies a murderer who would kill for some chocolate! :)

I hope you all are doing well. Only 10 more days till we get rid of most all of our sports! YEA! Our boys LAX team lost a tough one Thursday night to knock them out of the playoffs. Looks like it will just be Girls' Softball and Girl's LAX sticking around. (However, given how much girls' lax hates their coach, I'd be surprised if they stayed in it too long.) Go softball!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

What a fun way to start a Monday!

Hey all, just wanted to give you the latest health update. If women stuff makes you squeamish, nows the time to turn back! :)

I don't know how many of you remember when I worked for my Uncle Eddie during college. We found out Friday his old partner, Dom died of a massive heart attack Thursday night. His viewing/memorial service was scheduled for Monday morning. I'm still in shock, 'cuz I can still see his face and his smile in my head. Anyway, Monday morning I was like several tons of bricks and unable to get out of bed, so I sent my regards with my mom and dad and stayed in bed.

About 10:30, I got up, a bit groggy, and wandered into the bathroom - to do what most people do first thing in the morning. Everything was "coming out fine" when the bladder was empty. Accompanying this bladder emptying was a searing pain, like a giant knife stabbing me in the right ovarian area. I screamed and staggered to my bed, grabbing for the heating pad (cuz it seemed rational) and began crying and moaning and rolling from side to side wishing for the pain to stop.

Then I stopped rolling, laying still was working so much better. I called the docs office and they told me to come in right away and see the PA. I sat up, to minimal pain compared to what I had, but still very painful, managed to shower and had my dad (who had just returned from the viewing) drive me to the doctor.

Long story a bit less graphic, after an ultrasound, abdominal plate x-ray and visits with a Physician's Assistant (PA) and OB/GYN, I've been given a clean bill of health and still in pain - although severely less pain than yesterday morning.

Who knew peeing would be hazardous to your health? ;) Just thought I'd fill you all in.

I once again ran through the whole list of health issues with my OB/GYN, who once again wasn't concerned. After all of this, I've decided maybe all the docs are right, maybe I do have no GYN problems, IBS and some weird propensity for cathing strange infections and bumps. I think I'm just gonna suffer with my discomfort and inconvient health problems and bow to the experts. It's a hard decision because one shoulder keeps reminding me of the people who have problems who keep telling you to get opinions and pushing until lyou find an answer you're comfortable with and the other shoulder telling me to stop thinking there's things there that aren't and believe the experts (especially since i don't have a real answer to what I think could be wrong).

Anyway, other than some chocolate cravings and crying over just about everything (did you guys hear about the baby saved by the dog in Kenya? i get teary just thinking about it!). Stupid hormones!

Have a good Wednesday. Happy Birhtday to The Dad! :) He's 58 tomorrow! :)

Sunday, May 08, 2005

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

(P.S. AJ, I hope Sarah's wedding went well! :) )

Monday, May 02, 2005

In case you couldn't tell, I've been playing with the photo uploading feature for my Blog! I may just have to take my camera to work now! :) Anyway, I've been looking at Karen and her sister's site and feeling mine was so lacking in character! So, I'm trying to feel my way around figuring out some of the features they've added to theirs. Let me know what you think!

The Fam in Mexico last year. Posted by Hello

Almost 30 Posted by Hello

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Inspired By Kare

This is a list of 100 random things about me. The list was inspired by my old roommate, Karen (www.karchamb.blogspot.com).

1. I’m a Leo. When my mom got her due date for the end of August, she was hoping I’d be born late, so I wouldn’t be a stubborn Leo. Instead, I came a week or two early, smack in the middle of Leo-dom! :)

2. Unlike Kare, I don’t read my horoscope too often anymore. Well, I do on the days I read the newspaper, but I don’t hunt it out, like I used to. Inspires too much false hope at times.

3. I feel so much better about admitting to this after reading that Kare does it too. As much as she might jump through the computer and kill me, Karen is the smartest, most informed woman I know. She inspires me to be smarter, to know more, as well as in many other ways. It is so good to know she reads silly magazines and chick lit too! Sometimes, it’s just so nice to escape and be “girly”! :)

4. My favorite books are The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, The Street Lawyer and any Dr. Alex Delaware book by Jonathan Kellerman.

5. I was never too into movies, but I quote them a lot. Sometimes I just throw quotes into conversation where they seem appropriate. Only a handful of people ever realize I’m not just weird, that I’m quoting a movie and go “OMG, that’s from _________!”

6. Netflix has changed my view of movies. It has also helped me see more recent movies. My favorite new movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

7. My “kids” (athletes I see daily) often think I am younger than I really am. :) They also usually assume I’m married. It always throws them to find out I’m 3 ½ months away from 30 and single.

8. I’ve gotten more comfortable with admitting to both of these things above. Including admitting to living with my parents. Although I still feel that the last two because of number one portray me as a failure, ugly or unworthy of society norms.

9. Despite all my teasing and sometimes getting annoyed by them, I have wonderful parents. They have always been supportive of me, loving, caring and have always made it known we always have a place with them.

10. My sister is really probably my best friend, even though we are superficially different. We are fundamentally the same. (Jill, this doesn’t mean you can cuddle with me when we sleep! I know you gravitate towards body heat and always claim you don’t realize you are essentially a heat-seeking missle when you sleep, but you are…stay on your side of the bed! :) )

11. I am pretty gullable. I have a tendancy to believe anything people tell me. I think it stems from the belief that all people are good.

12. I hate people. (“but I love gatherings. Isn’t it ironic?”) I hate people and state this often, mostly because they are selfish (self-centered?) and stupid. :)

13. I usually like everyone right away, unless you prove to me I shouldn’t like you.
I am a unbelievable radar for the most dysfunctional boy in the group.

14. I ALWAYS like him. (even if it’s just to say “he’s my favorite”.)

15. Kare said, “Drunk me often loves people who end up being jerks”. Drunk me loves everyone. (Not quite in the same way as my sister, who, when drunk and out with friends constantly professes “I love you guys!”.)

16. Despite the constant reassurance the I’m pretty (and nice, funny, sweet, etc.) I usually do not have guys knocking down my door. I think I might intimidate them.

17. I have had guys tell me, years later about the crush they had on me, how they thought I was “f-ing adorable” and they would to have loved to date me. Meanwhile, I could’ve told them EVERYTHING on t.v., the nights I cried wondering why no one liked me and how insecure I was about my looks during that time.

18. I completely sympathized with George from Seinfeld on the “I should’ve said…” episode. I do that every moment of my life.

19. My analytical score on the SATs was enormous.

20. The two others that counted…not so much.

21. I’m pretty good at picking up languages and accents, but I don’t know a whole lot in any “foreign” language.

22. My brain often is WAY ahead of my body. It thinks we are multi-lingual. It also thinks we can run a marathon, play the piano, sing on key (in a former year, we could do that. Allergies and no practice have taken their toll), draw beautiful detailed, exact replica pictures and “fry it up in a pan”. The body hasn’t realized this yet, so alas, we cannot do these things. Maybe if we practiced, trained, etc. The potential is there, the talent is not yet.
I’m BIG on potential.

23. My brain and my body are usually out of sync lately. Especially when speaking, typing or writing. I think one thing, yet another comes out.

24. I used to think I was low maintenance. I think I used to be. Compared to others, I might still be.


25. I’ve become high maintenance. Mostly in food related ways. Or health ways.

26. I’ve realized that size in clothes doesn’t matter, but the fit and the fabric do.

27. Also, a good (fitting) pair of underwear (and bras, for the women) is essential to having a good day.

28. I hate wearing glasses. Can’t really get contacts in my eyes (I’ve tried twice, 10 years apart, it just frustrates me). I’m now trying just willing them to be 20/20.

29. I miss sunglasses.

30. I love working outside in the warm weather. (When are we gonna get warm weather?!?!?)

31. And I love working with sports everyday.

32. Every athlete I see in a day is a pretty good kid. I do have my favorites. A couple of them are not derelicts. J

33. I get upset with Google it doesn’t find the EXACT person I am looking for. It should know who I mean. I like Googling old boyfriends, crushes, etc. It never gives me the information I want, though. (Like, are they married? Do they have kids? Do they ever think of me?)

34. Unlike Kare, I’ve had first kisses at bars and parties. Most of the time they’re the only kisses. Once or twice, it’s led to the opportunity for second kisses, but not often. (see # 17)

35. I haven’t ever really been a relationship person.

36. Secretly, I think I’ve always longed to be a relationship person.

37. My goals have always been family-oriented, not career or accomplishment oriented.

38. I love a good goal! (Sports, of course)

39. The 3-point shot in the most beautiful shot in basketball. I think dunking is overrated.

40. Professional athletes are overpaid, spoiled 13 year-olds. Big time college athletes aren’t much better.

41. This should change.

42. I’ve become a lot more active in change. Changes in me (I’m taking piano lessons), changes in others (I’ve started making sure I get answers to kids questions, even if it’s just “Is this Gatorade half-drank or half-drunk?”, whether they really want them or not.) and changes in society (voting, petitions, committees)

43. I don’t like either political party. They both suck. They’re conniving and slimey. I don’t trust politicians. However, I do think the checks and balances we have in place insure that government is doing things in “my” (country) best interest.

44. More should be done in my best interest. The world would be a much better place if everyone lived as I think they should! :)

45. The roads would be much safer if everyone drove as I think they should.

46. I also think we should be able to stop a car, tap on their window and tell them to hand over their keys and their license because they are no longer allowed to drive.

47. In addition to being an “excellent driver”, I am also a fairly decent cook (if not all that healthy). It is a great stress reliever for me.

48. I like planning.

49. I’m a control freak. I admit it.

50. Not real fond of the unknown. While it’s exciting, it’s frustrating and causes me to hyperventilate.

51. I’m trying to get better with this.

52. I’ve started with trying religion. I figure if I can believe…truly believe, not just say it is so because everyone tells me it is…in an invisible deity I can relinquish control to him and then I don’t have to have it. I guess after that I have to admit (s)he’d be better at controlling stuff than I am.

53. It’s hard to believe some of the heartbreak I’ve experienced anyone would think needs to be “gone through”. What deity would allow that? I wouldn’t wish that on someone. I wouldn’t even think anyone should have to go through it. It’s not the way I’d run humanity.

54. I miss my cat. My mom’s cat has adopted me, but just when he wants stuff – like to be petted when mom is gone or to sleep in the empty space in my bed with me. Mav was always there. He never wanted to be anywhere that wasn’t with me. I miss him. (Taking him was like kicking someone when they’re down. But I’m not bitter. :) )

55. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason. That concept was made up by someone who didn’t know what to say and wanted to make another feel better.

56. I’ve become more negative/cynical/angry/frustrated/short-tempered the older I get.

57. It’s a lot of the traits I wasn’t too fond of in my dad that I find in myself way too often. It bothers me that I annoy me. I’ve tried to suppress a lot of them, but they emerge suddenly, like Terets.

58. I’m a perfectionist, but yet too easily bored with details to be good at it.

59. Same reason I’m not good at crafty things. I’d love to be; too many details.

60. I like using punctuation like semi-colons, commas and hyphens, even though I’m sure I don’t use them correctly and annoy Karen.

61. I like annoying people on purpose. Just long enough to be funny, not too long, so as to be…well….annoying.

62. I like when people laugh.

63. I like to eat. The tastes, the textures…yum!

64. Diner food really has no taste (and probably no nutrition), but you can’t beat it for coffee or dessert. Diner food gets old when you eat it 3-days a week.

65. I’m trying to really like running.

66. I really like my iPod.

67. Some days I work out, just so I can listen to it.

68. I’m a music geek.

69.Sometimes, I’m just a geek.

70.I wish more people were schizophrenic (or “multi-faceted” as I like to call myself) like me.

71. I have a goofy sense of humor.

72. I think it’s funny to tell my mom I’m gonna get married by Elvis in Las Vegas, because she feels very strongly about certain things she’s seen in other people’s weddings that I actually like. I figured Vegas would circumvent any fighting, tantrums or rifts in wedding planning.

73. I really wanna get married on a beach at sunset. I was thinking Sanibel because it’s close, fairly cheap and beautiful. It will probably end up being Cape May.

74. My grandparents got married in Cape May.

75. I will miss my grandparents when they are gone. I wish I knew my other grandparents as an adult.

76. I like the flowers on my desk today, not only because they are pretty, pink and springy, but because one of our tennis players thought enough to pick them up off the ground where they had fallen off a tree and bring them in for me.

77. It’s the same reason I will always love James (and my mom will always remember James) for bringing me dead roses from behind the flower shop in college.

78. And why I have always said I’d married the man who, after I’d worked a long day with no dinner, would make me a PB&J sandwich (unprompted) when I got home.

79. I love flowers. I like nature. Flora and Fauna. However, I am not a granola.

80. I am competitive. I try not to be too competitive, because I’m not as good at things as I once was and I have a way of challenging really good people and getting myself into trouble. I come by it naturally. You all know, you’ve all played ESPN games with my mother! :)

81. When I have on jeans and am driving in my car with the top down, I feel like that is “me”, where I completely, click body, mind and soul meeting.

82. Sunshine is the best thing ever.

83. I have a knack for liking expensive things. I am the expert at walking into a store and picking out the most expensive thing as the one I like.

84. I am also the best bargin shopper. Those women who have shopping shoes make me mad. They pay WAY too much for things and say it’s a bargin. My mom and sister now just follow me around a store (or just give me money to get them something) waiting for me to find cheap (price), but good quality stuff for them.

85. I have way too many clothes. I keep them if they’re still good, but like shopping and having varieties of clothes too much to stop buying new things.

86. I need a bigger space. While living at home with my parents is great, I really don’t have a lot of space for the things I have and thus, overflow into many rooms in the house. It’s caused many arguments.

87. I am not good in awkward conversations. I never know what’s the right thing to say. (Like when a coworker said of another coworker, “you should get together with him”. I don’t really know him, so I don’t know whether I’d like him or not on any level other than the friendly one we are currently on, not to mention the girlfriend he has or the am I or aren’t I attracted to him, so what do you say?)

88. Part of me hates that I care what the right thing to say is, the other part of me is glad my “filter” is still working.

89. I’ve tried to not care so much what other people think.

90. I really care about what my friends think….about anything. It’s hard when everyone goes in their own directions with their own lives. Even though you talk to them occasionally, it’s not as great as when you saw them every day/lived together. I miss that.

91. It’s hard to make friends after college. Even harder to even meet people.

92. I think one of our lacrosse players (Zack) is right, working in a school makes it so much harder to grow up.

93. Growing up sucks.

94. Patrick Dempsey’s character on Grey’s Anatomy is so cute. Smart, cute, emotional. There’s gotta be something wrong with him. Some bad boy side we haven’t seen yet. I’m never attracted to his type in real life. (Just ask my mother!)

95. Does anyone else have someone they’re not really attracted to, but seeing them makes your whole day?

96. When I wrote #92 about Zack and this one, he showed up! It happens to me alot. Foreshadowing and dreams about things happening we only know about after I dream them.)

97. I haven’t decided if it’s bad or not that my entire social interaction involves either my parents or 14-17 year olds.

98. Sometimes I think it’s good to be girly.

99. I’m so upset I didn’t take full advantage of naptime when I was younger. I think I should get make-ups.

100. Trust, when you realize you have it – either for another person or from them – is a pretty amazing thing.