(My guest article from www.dawgdiaries.com)
I was getting too rigid, codgery even. Too set in my ways and closed off to anything that changed my lifestyle. So who knows why, when my phone rang that Saturday morning at 9am to ask if I could take in two bulldogs for 10 days while they recovered from kennel cough, I said yes. Kennel cough is contagious in dogs and all the Foster homes of the Heaven Sent Bulldog Rescue owned dogs. I supported the rescue, gave money, showed up at events, but owned two cats...zero dogs. I was perfect for nursing these dogs back to health. Sure, I said, bring 'em over. I can do anything for 10 days. Little did I know those 10 days would change my life.
One of the first questions people ask when I tell them I was a “foster mom” was a question I often asked about fostering “How can you just take a dog in and not get attached to them?” I have to admit, it was difficult and I DID grow attached. When taking in a Foster dog, ask yourself a few questions:
1) “Am I in a position to keep this dog?” I knew I was not. I am not home often, my
schedule fluctuates and changes so much that a dog would be locked in a house alone a
lot. Not an idea situation for the dog long-term.
2) “What is the best situation for the dog?” I knew that if I didn't take in these two sick
dogs, they were going to be sitting in a run/kennel at a breeders. Though not ideal, my
one large sitting room, ineptness at owning a dog and 7-8 hours alone a day were a
better situation than what they currently had. I knew if I could get them healthy and
assess their temperament we could find them the PERFECT home where they could
thrive and be loved.
Answering these two questions allowed me to put the dogs in perspective before they entered my house. They were not mine. They belonged to someone else. I felt like their babysitter. I played with them, fed them, made sure they went potty, put them to bed and yes, fell in love with them, but I knew there would come a time when the “parents” would come home and I would hand them back over, happy and healthy.
“I was thinking of owning a dog, maybe I should foster one and “test out” owning a dog?” Most dogs given up to a shelter or rescue were given up for a reason. While it's true some reasons include the economy, allergies or a new baby, other reason include biting, inability to get along with other pets or humans and abuse. For these reasons, sometimes fostering a dog can be extremely stressful and emotional to the owner. I had a few nights in tears and some nights picking up the pieces of things destroyed or chewed. No one knows what a foster dog is going to bring. Each dog has a different temperament and using one as a “test” is not fair to you or the dog.
“Will I be on my own to care for the dog?” Yes and no. Having not owned a dog in any double digit years of my life, I was pretty clueless. Luckily, the Rescue worker who came over with the dogs was a godsend! Most rescue groups and shelters will have people you can contact with questions, problems or issues should they arise. The rescue group set up dr. appointments and took care of getting me supplies (dog dish, beds, leashes, etc), food and the medications the dogs needed. I ran into lots of novice dog owner questions and the rescue workers were always available to help me out.
"What is the time frame on Fostering a dog? Most times when you foster a dog, the agreement is to keep the dog until it is adopted. This could mean 2 weeks or 2 years. My case was special, as I was an “emergency” home. As that was, my 10 days turned into 1 month and my two dogs DID leave my home for their new permanent home. Remember this when taking on the responsibility of fostering a dog. You are signing on for the duration of the dogs “life in limbo”.
As the end date of my reign as Foster Mom approached, I wondered “Are these poor dogs gonna feel abandoned by me when they are adopted?” A woman VERY involved in the bulldog rescue said no. They're gonna wonder how much better life can get! I have to admit I was a little sad when the Rescue worker came to pick up my two and they trotted away happy as could be without even a look back at me. I had to think back and remember the almost lethargic, phlegmy four-legged creatures who straggled in to my home one month before. They had come so far and they were headed to a home where they would be loved and spoiled beyond belief.
“Sounds great! What do I need to do to be a Foster parent to a dog?” If you have a group that is dear to your heart, contact the local rescue. Foster homes are in such high demand and most good ones are near capacity of animals. If you aren't picky about breed (or even animal, I know this is a Dawg site, but kitties need fostering too), contact your local animal shelter. Most will require an application to be filled out and possibly a vet reference. Some groups do “site visits” to make sure your home will be perfect for the dog you are fostering.
A MAJOR point to remember about fostering dogs...It's Not About You. This was definitely the attitude I had when taking the dogs after that 9am phone call. “Bring the poor babies to me. I can help them.” I felt a little inadequate I didn't have the perfect doggie house for them. They deserved more. It was all about them. After 4 days (yes, only 4, but they were looong days), I flung myself onto the floor crying because I was tired of cleaning up pee and poop off my hardwood floors, of eating dinner at 9pm, of more “them” than “me” time - I was tired. One of the dogs trotted right over, laid down next to me resting his big head on my back lovingly. I then remembered. It was not about me. It was about them. I picked up my Nature's Miracle bottle (Um, I loved the stuff so much I kept it for spot cleaning my floors even though the dogs are gone!) and my paper towels and off I went. The trials and tribulations got easier for me to deal with (and there were plenty) and funny thing, I adjusted. Maybe I'm even flexible and no one would come close to calling me a codger now! :) I realized I CAN do anything and am a lot more easygoing now than before. I still think of the two bulldogs I fostered and a few others I've helped in various ways. I learned I have a lot to give, am blessed to be able to share what I
have and am open to anything that my come my way. My whole outlook on life has changed and I have those first two bullies to thank! They will always hold a place in my heart and I suspect I have room in that place for a few others down the line. I hope you will too.
