Bill Engvall ALMOST Got It Right

Hey Everyone!

I just thought I'd let you know I think Bill Engvall ALMOST got it right. For those of you who don't know who Bill Engvall is, I'll enlighten you. Bill Engvall is a comedian who has been on both Blue Collar Comedy Tours. He does a skit about how stupid people should wear a sign, so we know they're coming. The way he usually starts his skit is, "I hate stupid people". He was SO close. He should've left out the word stupid.

I Hate People is a phrase I say very often. I feel I say it more and more and lately, I'm even starting to believe it. It's either that, I'm cranky and bitter OR I'm encountering more and more people who are irritating, annoying and should be slapped upside the head and sent to an island to live with all the other people I hate...thereby making the world a better place. Instead of a long drawn out paragraph story of all the people I hate, I thought I'd cut into less of my "I need to get out of my head...and hormones...and go to sleep" time and use the hour I have remaining on my laptop battery wisely and just do it in a Top Ten (or so) List Form. And now.....People I Hate (well, the list of people I hate today):

* whiney athletes
* gymnasts ('cuz today, I hate all the ones I see daily)
* coaches who practice WAY too long
* secretaries who are stupid and want to make me do twice as much work because it makes them feel better.
* people with babies who seem to want to keep reminding me how wonderful it is to have babies, blah, blah, blah...YES, I get it. An absolute freakin' blessing. I haven't been blessed. I may never be blessed. Rub it in. (I hate you people!) (Aim, this doesn't mean you. You underestimate your daughter. You tell me she whines, cries and hits you - I still think that was funny - whenever I see her she's an angel, but I appreciate your candor! :) )
* people who can't let go of relationships and seem to torture themselves (namely, me)
* people who propose on Christmas Day and are getting married
* doctor's office workers. What makes you think that when I call you with a medical question, which was obviously important or I wouldn't have called, and involved strange bodily function things that it's o.k. to call me back almost 24 hours later?!?!?! Glad I wasn't dying. While I'm on the subject, don't say "if you leave a message after 4 o'clock, your message will not be returned until the following business day" when my first message was at 12:30 Monday, you returned that call at 10:30 Tuesday morning and I'm still waiting for a return call from my 2:00 today message. Just be honest and tell me you'll figure out if I'm important and if I haven't died or gone to the ER before you get around to it, you'll call me back sometime this week - Be optimistic.
* whatever person took all the bottled water out of the fridge and never replaced it leaving me parched! (again, probably me)
* The freakin' cat who just decides some days he'll sleep here and some days he won't. When did this start? What, suddenly the kitchen floor is better than the spot next to me?!?!? (Yes, I know, technically not a person, but I'm on a roll here!)
* people who obviously have such exciting lives they can't update their blog every day. I have no life, throw me a bone people would ya?!?!?! ;)
* anyone driving 5-10 miles under the speed limit when I can't pass you. Read the speed limit signs people!
* the pig-goat (Again, technically not a person, but he/she makes me smile and it hasn't been around letely!)

well, I guess that's it for now. I'm sure there are many more people I hate...like self-absorbed people who think they are so much more important than you that it's o.k. to run you over with a shopping cart, or those people who roll through stop signs while you're coming at them so you don't know if they're rolling to turn after you or if they're just going to plow right into you...but these people haven't really made me hate them today, so I'll have to save them for another day. Won't you guys be SO glad when the doctor finally calls me back and we can get my freakin' hormones back to tolerable. Believe me, I will be at the TOP of that list!

I hope you guys do not encounter any of the people you hate today. If so, do what I do and look at someone (preferably someone you are with) and say, "I hate people". You'd be surprised how much better you feel. Comments are open, add your own! I'd love to hate them too! :)