Hi All! I can't believe it's been so long since I've done this! You should see things on here more, now that I have a computer at work! :) I just never seem to be close to a computer when I have a brillant blog topic!

Maybe some of you with children can answer this for me...When they hand you your child's birth certificate, do they also hand you a license that tells you that you are more important than me now? That your life is more important and deserves more consideration because of this child? Or that I am supposed to think your child is cute whatever they are doing, b/c you had one?

About three months ago, my sister and I were at a restaraunt (I never spell that word right) waiting to meet our mother. The restaraunt has a policy that they will not seat you until your entire party arrives. Jill and I put our name in...a 20 minute wait...and wait for mom to arrive. Two Marlton women (which are different than alot of other women in that they are dressed to the nines, with child -or children - no discernable jobs, and Louis Vutton diaper bags -or, insert Lexus SUVs, 3 carat diamonds here.) are waiting, when one looks at the other and says "Well, they're just going to have to seat us before the others get here, b/c I can't hold this baby any longer." Oh, I'm sorry ma'am. I didn't see the child in your arms. Let me break restaraunt policy and seat you with half your party in front of the other 15 customers who ARE here and are waiting for a table.

What Jill DID say (to me only, of course), is that you're the one who HAD the child. If you didn't want to hold it (not sure if it was male or female), you shouldn't have brought it to a crowded restaraunt at lunchtime or had it at all. Maybe a little harsh, but at this point, my sister and I are both sick of this "I'm a parent, I'm special" attitude. Our same attitude applies when your child, who is running through the restaraunt while you chat with your girlfriend, A) hits me on the head with a balloon B) trips the wait staff for the 18 millionth time while you half-*ssed say their name C) screams at the top of their lungs in a piercing voice while you pretend not to notice and talk even louder to your girlfriend about the new Coach/Louis Vutton/SUV/Vacation you just purchased.

Jump forward a month. I am meeting mom for lunch while temping at the Financial Planning place (ironic, I know) to discuss the latest employer screw-up with my benefits, which have me nearly in tears. (At this point, I didn't have my car and was physically falling apart and EVERYTHING somewhat stressful almost reduced me to tears.) A woman, with three 14-year-old girls (I know the exact age...read on) and one young (6 or so) boy came in and sat behind us. The girls immed. (all one after another, mind you) began asking everyone who came near their table how old they looked - then telling them exactly how old they were. One girl, threatened her friend's brother, by standing up and shaking her fist at him. Followed by the comment that she could "see (her) uterus through her jeans". At this point, my mother flashed them her "look" (which grownups are afraid of) since their chaperone seemed oblivious to everything, and I believed to be, due to the ignoring of these girls, drugged. Then, in their over-the-top 14-year-old girl ways, one of the girls (the one in the middle of the three on one side of the booth) knocked over her soda. At which point, they all began squeeling and sliding around on the floor on purpose to make it seem as if they were falling. The mother, who I know believed to be in a walking coma, did nothing and said nothing. The girls took off for the bathroom, the little boy took off to run through the kitchen, while the "Weekend-at-Bernie's" mom stood there watching them clean her table. The owner of the pizza place, went table to table and apologize to each customer for the disruption to their lunch. (Mine, which hadn't been disrupted, as it was all sitting just below my throat and hadn't quite reached my stomach.) Aren't children a hoot?!?!?

I'm sorry, but if I had even gotten CLOSE to that, my mother would have threatened to take us out of the place, then done so if we hadn't behaved. Not flashed the other customers a sincere "aren't they cute?", b/c somewhere in their diaper bag, they have a license, allowing them to do so.

My all-time, "I have kids, so I'm allowed to do whatever I want" story happened just on Tuesday. An irate customer (not at me, but at our comapny in general) kicked me out of her office, when I was there to help THEM. I decided I need to re-group and knock some things off my "to-do" list, since I know had free time and was told to take it (as an apology for my bosses sending me into such a volatile account). I needed to purchase a few pieces to complete outfits, so I ventured into Ross. I'm not sure about anywhere else, but the Ross' around us always seem to have long lines with way too little registers open. So, picture this...

There are 10 - 12 people in line and one register open. The woman in front of me was restless and, at one point excused herself to go look at a blouse, but left her stuff in line. She returned moments later. Shortly after that, another register opened (not directly next to us, but one away to the right) and 6 people moved to that line. Their line was moving pretty fast and ours, barely at all, but I decided to stay, as there were only 3 people ahead of me. The woman directly ahead of me, decided to move, and picked up her stuff and moved to the other line. I moved up into her space. A third register opened and the woman said our woman was going on break soon, so she'd take from me back to her register - which was between the two already open. As I started to move, the woman who had been ahead of me, walked up to the register and said "I was here". The woman behind our new register, said, "Ma'am I am taking only from this line." Since she, and EVERYONE ELSE at the registers had seen this woman move from the right line to our line, in front of me. I said, "But you switched lines." And the woman at our original register said, "You weren't there." "Yes I was!" proclaimed this woman. She looked down at my 3 little items and said, "go ahead", then got in line BEHIND ME! As if she were granting me some wonderful courtesy to let me ahead of her. I explained to the cash register woman (out of earshot of jumping lines lady) that the woman behind me HAD been in our line ahead of me, but had moved. Register woman said that happened alot. Then, the jumping lines lady said to me, "I just wanted to get home before my son." (I contemplated for a split second, letting her back ahead of me, but I'd already waited in line 15 minutes and was annoyed.) I gave her a closed-lip smile and turned back around. "It's not that he's young, but I still like to be home when he gets there." Again with the kid thing. For all the kidless people in the world, I turned to her and said, "Then I guess we all have somewhere to be", smiled and turned back around. (Mom got SUCH a kick out of this story!)

So, here it is: Why should I have to go second in line b/c you've got a kid at home? Why should I be assulted at my meal by latex b/c your child thinks it's funny? Why should you get seated before me b/c you have to set your child down? Doesn't my purse-doubling (lately)-as-a-Circuit City have to be set down too? My life should not be (can't think of the word I want here) imposed upon because you decided to have a child and I did not (or have not yet).

I have since calmed down from my Ross incident, feeling slightly vindicated for speaking my point. (Even if it was only to one person, who tried to convince an entire store she was right, when they all saw with their own eyes she was wrong, so she won't take it to heart anyway...but still...) Mom and I were at yoga tonight, waiting outside for the studio to be emptied by the class ahead of us, when another woman waiting with us noticed a sign that next Friday the gym would be closed after 4:30pm...and thus, no Yoga (mom was very pouty about this). She mentioned it to our teacher, who was standing with us. He said the staff (instructors, sales people and front desk people) had to take their children out for halloween and they couldn't find enough others to fill in, so they were just closing. "You know, those of us without kids just have to re-arrange our lives for those with them." Mom and I just smiled, as he smiled at us with his little smile to follow a sarcastic comment. We knew just what he meant. :)