ARUBA

The disappearance of Natalee Holloway has me a little upset. As someone who likes to travel, it is always such a shame to me when people aren't safe while visiting beautiful places.

As you all know, the sister and I are travelling to San Diego at the end of this month. I said the last time I was there that I would love to go to Tijuana, as it is 20 miles away. It completely blows me away I could be in another country in a matter of minutes. Even more so when my old roommate Mike used to tell me he had baseball players at USD who commuted from Tijuana to school everyday. My sister, the adventurous one, keeps telling me she is in no way going. "Didn't you see Traffic?" Our friend Carol has found a compromise, so we may be eating Mexican food in Mexico at some point during the trip! :)

I have frequently heard stories about people disappearing while travelling. (There is one story about a woman disappearing on a cruise I saw on Unsolved Mysteries that I haven't ever been able to get out of my head.) The urge to "take" women, either for slave trade, prositution, drugs, or just to hold for ransom just makes me ill. So, as the Holloway case advances, I keep hoping they find her alive somewhere.

Having said all that, there are other things about her disappearance that anger and upset me. First off, didn't we all learn in kindergarten or first grade NOT to get in the car with strangers?!?!? At what age does someone decide this is no longer a rule we need to follow? I guess the term "stranger" needs some defining as we get older. The other thing considered I guess is how good a judge of character you think you are or how invincible you believe yourself to be. The "strangers" I have often found myself with were friends of friends, or, as happened last weekend, a gentleman we had been hanging out with for hours before taking him with us to dinner. We knew lots about him, it was our city...and there were three of us in a car I was driving.

I must admit there have been times I've gotten in the car with a stranger or strangers. This admission leads me to my next point...Where were her friends?!?!?!? Even the times I HAVE decided to get in the car with strangers (only one I could really kick myself for, but luckily it turned out o.k.) I have been with at least one other person I know, and we were the definate majority. Even in college, we had an unspoken "buddy" system. You must always account for your buddy. If they were leaving (for the bathroom, outside for a smoke or to um...relieve their stomach of the poisioning it had been enjoying! :) ), someone always knew where they were. In an instant the scene was judged safe (as in, there's 40 million people outside we go to school with, or no one would brave the line to the ladies room...or cranky ladies waiting in line to abduct a girl from there), or, if worried, the "buddies" usually went together. No one was ever left "standing" alone. Sometimes, things even warrented putting your foot down and keeping your buddy by your side. In the event they were leaving with someone else, the person they were leaving with was instantly judged for safety and a decision made then. (It really was alot more subconscious than it sounds all written out like this.) Her friends have admitted seeing her getting into a car outside the concert as the last time they saw her. Why didn't they ask questions? Where were her wingmen? You never leave your wingman! Didn't they see Top Gun? Friends can get away with questioning that doesn't sound parental, but secretly is...it's all in the best interest of each other. A weird kind of take on the "Do Unto Others...." rule.

As a last resort, where were the parental chaperones?!?!? Isn't that the point of parental chaperones? I'd like to reference our trip to the Bahamas. I think I've mentioned this before, but the first night at the dueling pianos there were 6 high school aged girls there. They were dancing, the piano guy was making crude comments about them, and one of the girls mothers' was sitting with a friend (another mother?) laughing at the whole scene. For as much as one of the other wedding guests and I couldn't figure out what the mother was thinking letting her high school girl and those in her "custody" in that environment, I do give her credit for giving the girls their space while still keeping a close eye on them. All 6 girls walked off the ship in pretty much the same pieces they came in with.

Please do not think I am blaming the girl/friends/chaperones or taking a "she got what she asked for" attitude, I am not. I just think somehow basic things were forgotten. Maybe it's because they felt comfortable on the island and let their guard down. Maybe they just never learned the rules. Whatever the reason....I hope they find her.