As Carrie said in the first ever Sex and the City: "Welcome to the age of un-innocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's and no one has affairs to remember."

Apparently, you can live this lifestyle if you sign up to be on a reality t.v. show! Evan & Zora = Happily Ever After; Trista & Ryan = Happily Ever After; Aaron & Helene = Happily Ever After...at least, they're all happy when the show ends. Then there's the public appearances, the "after" talk shows, the "oh we're in love" and "this time it's real" conversations with anyone who will listen. Then, shortly after the show airs...where's the "lovely" couple now? They've taken their money, fame, and experience and run like hell.

The union of Evan and Zora bothered me more than most. Why? It's like reading little girls fairy tales, then making sure they expect them to come true. AS I said the other day, just like Shrek, but worse writing. If you hold out for honesty, stay true to your beliefs, act naive and play hard to get, then accept another for who they are, you too will find love and $500,000. Somehow, the fairy tales should all be ruined on the fact that THESE PEOPLE AGREED TO BE ON THE SHOW IN THE FIRST PLACE!

I'm better now. :)

There was a recent article on how "young" people are too busy for "dating" anymore. Things like "8 minute dates" are popping up all over like wildfires and internet dating is on the rise. And maybe that's the reason Reality T.V. dating shows are doing so well. Our generation is holding out for finding the fantasy in 6 short weeks without having to compromise a career (most are filmed in the summer. and Evan is still a construction worker, didn't have to change anything), or change residence, or give up most anything to find and be with your perfect mate. Because, in the Age of Convienience, we want to establish ourselves and have whomever just fall in line with that. If they don't, too bad, so sad (as my dad would say) - TTFN. No compromise. And for women, it's a little ray of hope that in life, the things we hold dear, really do matter. (I mean, how many men willingly watched Joe Millionaire or The Bachelorette? O.k., how many willingly watched it without saying, "He gets to seduce 25 girls before picking one? 25 girls all throwing themselves at them? Dude! I'd go on that show!" )

Puh-leaz. Now, maybe I'm a cynic; have become jaded; whatever, but relationships are not made this way. Six Weeks? True Love? if you know my middle name by Week 4, you (as a guy) are doing pretty well. Heck, if you've made it to Week 4, you are steps ahead of 75% of men I've met! (Especially the poor sap-who's lucky to have made it past minute 2 - running around Manayunk who thinks I have 6 kids!) AND, if at any time I've known you we've "cuddled", I'm probably close to picking out china patterns! :)

Having said all that, I'd still consider myself a romantic! :) I know it doesn't seem like it, but I am. I still am waiting for a man to sweep me off my feet. (As my dad said, "Jenn, you're waiting for a white knight? That doesn't happen!") Unfort., it can't be done with candy and flowers. Every day I spent with Neil, he never ceased to amaze me. (Go ahead, you guys can say it. It amazes you all too he's such an *sshole. I know, I know, I hear it everytime I mention his name to you guys, but no matter how much I've been hurt, you'll never convince me of that.) He was so compassionate about his beliefs, wants, likes and dislikes, his job and his life. He cared about other people (yes, really. Well, maybe everyone but me). I'll never forget the day we were headed into, I think it was the grocery store. A woman was there with two little kids and a baby. Neil rushed ahead to open the door for her and help her with the stuff she was juggling. She looked at me after thanking him profusely and said, "It's hard to find such wonderful men. You should keep him." I swelled with pride, as I blushed b/c he wasn't mine to keep. And just when I thought he'd "lost" something I admired so deeply in him (mostly b/c they were where he and I were in tandem and parts of me I loved), he'd do something, however subtle, and sweep me away all over again.

Did he buy me flowers? Candy? Dinners? Presents? (O.k. don't even get me started on this one! I have a list of all the "holidays" he owes me for!) Hold open doors for me? Etc. Nope. but the little things he did, made me love him for who he was, not the things he showered me with. I fell for the little ways he showed (or at least did a great job of pretending like) he cared for me, and not grand sweeping gestures. (O.K., remembering my birthday? Acknowledging it with a present once every year-instead of once every 4 years- would have been nice, but I'm not going there.) And I find it real hard to believe that you can reach the depths of someone in six weeks! In front of millions of people, while competing with 24 other women? I think not. All you get is their best and all you give is yours. There are no drunk phone calls at 2 a.m. (or worse, 4 a.m.), no carrying them home after watching them hit on the opposite sex all night, no bad attitudes towards you after a long day at work, no getting mad over something they wanted and didn't tell you they wanted, so you didn't do, no suspicion about who they're with and what they're doing...all you get is the polish, none of the tarnish. And sometimes...rubbling through the tarnish makes the silver shine brighter.

So, since I'm still not working I was thinking about singing up to be the temptress on the "Indecent Proposal-like" reality show coming out. Or maybe the Made in America one, where you let the t.v. audience pick your mate and then you marry them. Because as Carrie said, " Welcome to the age of un-innocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's and no one has affairs to remember."