Contrary to popular belief...I am not dead. Nor did I fall off the face of the earth. Well, maybe that part's not true. Some days, I think I'm in hell. :)

Which genius person decided that 8am was a good hour of the day to begin working? AND, why did they feel the need to suck the rest of us into this!?!?!

This added to the fact that my office is one hour away, makes for a VERY CRANKY JENN! 6am everyday and my body DO NOT get along! So, I have been getting home about 6pm, heading to the gym, eating, and hitting the bed by 9 or 9:30pm. This is the reason you all think I died. Sorry about that. I just have no energy or creative thought to even put together a "Hi! How are ya?" email.

I do have an announcement though. The part of me that was holding out for a fairy tale ending...to anything...is gone. I tried to be optimistic, but I'm now 3 weeks into this new job and it's not getting better. The fact that one of the last thoughts I have every day is "What in the hell happened with my life?" goes to prove that the naive, romantic side of me is gone. No longer am I holding out for better, or thinking there must be a reason...just resigned to the fact that this is it. The big ending to a movie that sucks. You keep holding on, hoping it gets better, that everything comes together beautifully, as we all imagined, in the end. Only to come to the end of the movie and you realize that you spent 2 hours watching a horrible movie, holding out hope it would get better, but the only plot kicker was that you wasted 2 hours and hope b/c there was no twist, it didn't get better, and now you feel angry and "duped" by the promise of something better in the end. (Isn't cynical Jenn fun? ;) ) I no longer have the energy to hold out hope for better in my life. I'm too tired. Tired of being disappointed; tired of being hurt; tired of getting my hopes up to watch them come crashing down; and honestly, just plain tired.

So, now that I have shared the "new faces of Jenn", I'm gonna head downstairs for a bite to eat and some sleep. I hope you all are doing well. I'll try and write more soon. (It'll be easier when I have a laptop and can write when I still feel energized! :) Maybe then too, they'll let me do something at work besides read copier user manuals! :) ) Night!