"Clairee Belcher: You know, you would be a much more contented, pleasant person if you would find ways to occupy your time.
Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton at the Piggly Wiggly this morning, and I smiled at the son of a bitch 'fore I could help myself." - Steel Magnolias

I know alot of you may think I would take this opportunity to write about our "lovely" (sarc) GAY govenor, James MCGreevy, but instead, I come to you on the brink of another passing year. While many people this close to 30 would be depressed, I'm tremendously excited. For me, 30 holds wonderful possibilities. A weird optimism hovers over me whenever anyone mentions that I'm almost 30.

In talking to Trish this afternoon (Happy Birthday, Murph!), she said, "Ya know Jenn, I'm just not all that excited about turning 29. It's kind of 'eh'." I know how she feels. I remember how I felt when I turned 20. While it was a wonderful birthday, filled with presents and GIANT cards from my "new" boyfriend, Ryan, it was also an "eh" birthday. No longer a teenager, but not yet old enough to "vote" (which my mom used to tell me is why she looked forward to 21! :) Had nothing to do with she and her best friend, Lois visiting lounges, I'm sure! ;) ) it was sort of a hurry up and move on type of birthday.

It's also a time to reflect. I do this on birthdays, as well as New Year's Eve. A famous philosopher, George Santayana, once said, "Those you do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.", so I try to heed his words and learn from my history - what made me happy, sad, how things worked out and how I can mold my life to not repeat those things I would like to avoid and repeat with regularity those things I'd love to experience again and again. My twenties held some great loves, some crises of faith and some heavy career and life decisions. It also held great, lasting friendships and deepened love of family (and those like family). This may seem a very obvious thing to say, but the decade of the my 20's also held some great awakenings. Perhaps there is some direction after all in this little head (and heart) of mine.

The thing I most look forward to my 30's for, is the comfortability in my own skin I seem to feel more and more. I recently read an interview with Halle Berry in which she mentions a talk she had with Oprah about 40 bringing a "at home in your skin" feeling. I'm not sure whether it's circumstance or an increased maturity ;), but the ability to do things for yourself, say "no" to others and live as you wish to live - being true to who you are and what you want from life, regardless of what others think has crept into the last year of my life. I know I have said this before, but here it is again - there are moments, driving in my car, top down, great pair of jeans and a tank top, hair in a ponytail where I feel completely me. Like someone, somewhere should take a snapshot and it would completely scream "JENN!" all over it. The feeling of being home, comfortable, completely where you should be - as though you and your niche in time merged together and clicked. For the last few or more months, I have had the Steel Magnolia's quote from above in my head. It is exactly how I feel. I smile despite myself. The urge to fling my windows open and sing to bluebirds, hug everyone I see (in the pouring down rain) and dance around singing "I Feel Pretty". :) And lots and lots of dreams of being in love. And I am, I think...with me.

So, here on the verge of 29 (2 hours, but really it was 12:56pm on the 13th. I never was a morning person! :) ), I have no "oh my goodness, I'm almost 30" panic attacks. And even though numerous people have commented on me being this close to 30 and single, maybe how I need to get started looking for a husband or settling down, I am happy just the way I am. There's no raining on my parade! Plus...starting 2 hours from now...I have a whole 'nother year to live in my 20's! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!

(And, as a side note, resignations should not be given 3 months in advance. Get him out of office!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)