Tears In Heaven

Hi Aim (and maybe Hank) (anyone else reading?)!

I found out Saturday while in the midst of my 8am-9pm day that one of my former Basketball/Baseball players mothers had passed away. Kyle is a Soph at Johns Hopkins and was such a sweetheart. When I first met him as a Soph or Jr at Lenape, someone told me his mother was battling breast cancer. I often wanted to ask Kyle how she was doing, but never wanted to bring the subject up in case school (Student Council President) and sports (as I mentioned, Basketball and Baseball) were a refuge into normal for him. Kyle's senior year I heard a few things about how Mrs. O was not doing too well. Kyle graduated and moved on to JHU and stops back to visit on occasion. I still never had the heart to ask.

One kid in the group of guys he hung out with, BJ I keep in touch with fairly regularly. I always ask BJ about Kyle and his mom. I think about them often. How difficult it must be for an 18 y.o. boy to leave home for college and his life knowing his mother is fighting for life everyday. BJ never really has much news - "Ms. V, guys don't talk about that stuff. We get together and hang out, but he doesn't share and we don't really ask. We're guys.". Our Student Council Advisor told me Saturday about her passing away. He told me Kyle was at a few Varsity Bkt games over the holiday and told him his mom was in pain all the time. They hoped it wouldn't drag on a suffer.

I have been told lately I'm "maternal" and I guess that kicked in when I heard. I attended the viewing on Saturday. What a group of people! It was quite a turn out. Kyle seemed pleased to see me and genuinely seemed to be doing alright. The same could be said for the older son, daughter and Kyle's dad (who after seeing me often for Kyle's injuries must've been surprised to see me there). I know it must be different when you've been faced with the reality of this moment for years. According to another former baseball player I saw at the Funeral Home Mrs. O had fought back a bout with breast cancer years before I met Kyle, so the thought that this could eventually be reality had been in their home for a long time. Perhaps that's what the calm, serene and happy (? - can you say that? it was smiling and friendly attitude...maybe happy isn't the exact right term) look of the family was. I worry though about the moments in the next week or so. For the Father - when all the visitors have left and both of his sons return to college (his daughter is married) leaving the house quiet and lonely for the first time. Or when, after returning to college, either of the sons calls or comes home and mom is not on the other end. Or for the daughter when her own child is born, or when she wants advice on cooking, marriage or the like and there is no mother left to turn to. It's these moments when I think the grief strikes you most.

I told Kyle he always knows where I am should he need anything. Not that he'd ask, it's not how he is. The group of guys from h.s. are close and the mothers even more so. Kyle will never want for anything any of those mothers can provide. I hope the Father knows he can come watch baseball, see the new Lenape crop, socialize with those around him and in a place he spent so much time to forget the loneliness even for awhile.

When I knelt beside her coffin, I offered up a little prayer for the continual watch, love and support of those she left behind.

-Song by Eric Clapton