Downhill slide

A few days ago I was doing what I normally do at night while waiting for my medicines to kick in and make me sleepy, I was checking Facebook. Upon scrolling down I saw an article on our State association page for a colleague indicted for theft. The picture was of half a face and I thought "Holy Cow, he looks old. How is he still one of us?". Then I read the few lines underneath...he was an old friend.

I don't mean the old I originally thought looking at a forehead and eyes. I mean from college. He was a few years ahead of me in our program. A friend, a mentor. He showed me the ropes, taught me things I would need to know, as did all the upperclassmen at the time. I spent time at his house, with his roommates and family for parties, or just to hang out. When he graduated, it was pre wide-spread computer use. Our college emails went out the window and, unless you had AOL, so did friendships. People went their own way. In our profession, we knew we'd see each other again at conventions, meetings, etc. We had met alumni from our university who had long since graduated while we were in school, so there was no doubt this would continue on past our collegiate years.

Only it didn't. He didn't attend conventions - state or national. He didn't come to alumni events. I heard through the rumor mill he'd gotten married. His old friends, who were like brothers, didn't hear from him often either. I saw him years ago at a state meeting and was thrilled. He didn't seem as enthused. We talked a little. He had a daughter. His brother had gotten married and he was changing jobs. We never spoke again.

The picture, headline and ensuing story hit me like a ton of bricks. Sadness and shock. How did he get to that place? After a few days I still can't wrap my head around it. I know morals vary from person to person. Mine are rock solid in the stealing department. I live firmly in the do unto others rule, even if at times my emotions and brain conflict. Sometimes I WANT to do unto others, but my emotions are betraying me. It creates great inner turmoil, until the emotions pass and Golden Rule prevails. On taking money or property from others, I have no conflict. I don't want it done to me. I don't do it to others. I have one instance of having something stolen. It was my own fault and I still have nightmares about it. My grandmother, said "they must need it more than you.". Which gave me an ounce of comfort, but it was mine, not theirs and I wanted it.

I know there must be a million reasons how it started for him. A few dollars here, then it became easy. How do you get to the point in where starting even seems like an option? I am sad for him. Sad to see him slide from the golden child in a college program to prisoner. It seems likely he will do time. Time that seems so precious to me lately. I am sure he is relieved it is over. I've often heard that in deceit, lies and cover-ups the criminal is relieved when it is finally ended. I feel sorry for his daughter. Kids can be cruel and she will be without a father for some time. I emailed a few of our old friends. The reactions were all the same. Shock and sadness. I hope he knows we're thinking of him. Wondering how it happened and hoping he can make it right from here out. Rooting for him to overcome. He was our friend.