We've run into a slight Blog problem. My friend Kare started a blog. While this is wonderful, it also has stiffled my creativity. When I get inspired to write, I want to write about what SHE wrote about! :)

Unfortunately, I've been thinking about the same thing alot lately. I'm old. The worst part of being old, is that I know I have so much more life ahead of me until I really qualify as old. Even worse than that is the idea I have NO idea where my life is headed.

The last month or so I have come home every day from work annoyed and hating my job. My father and mother keep telling me everyone feels like this about their job. My mom always says, "you're just not cut out for business". Maybe that is true, but I refuse to believe everyone feels about their job as I do about mine. While annoyance and frustration will, no doubt, accompany any job, I just don't believe it outweights the general enjoyment of their career in most people.

I am always trying to do the best for our customers. In my mind, if the customer is happy, we will get repeat business, word-of-mouth business and our business will thrive. Maybe that's all a romantic, idealistic notion of business, but I believe it is what to strive for. The Major Accounts Rep I work the closest with tells me often how much he appreciates all I do for him and how efficient and professional I am. In a couple of instances lately, I have saved our biggest accounts from pulling our contract. I learned somewhere that the bosses people respected and admired the most were the ones who would pick up the phone and solve a problem as it arose. It showed the employees they and their problems were important. I vowed to be one of those people. In my position I have tried to be that person. When our customers have a problem, I try and locate the person who can fix it (if I cannot) to get it resolved quickly. Lately, it's been days and days of running around. No one wants to take the problem on, so the buck just keeps getting passed. I only know so many channels before I run out of options. Even at times where I find the person that can help (or can make the decision to free up the technician who can help), they are unwilling (or won't free up the person to help). Yet, they constantly come down on me to get the problem resolved. I can't take it any more.

If mom and dad are right, I will go through this for the next 48 years until I can retire. If they are right, and this is the problem in every job, then I will finally have to just let go of the trying to make it better and just adjust to the medicore that seasoned vets in a company have done. I guess there is a good reason we view most "old timers" in a company as "grumpy" or we ask them, "How have you managed to deal with this for so many years?"

Before I wrap this blog up, I just wanted to let you guys all know I got an email from Neil the other day. He and Christy bought a house (down the street from Jesper and Chris and his former player JJ and his wife? Katie) and he says they will probably get engaged soon because it is "the next logical step". For as upset as I am about the whole thing - beginning with wishing I had never met him AND gotten involved with him or how he and Christy play with my emotions and manipulated the situation, I am also a bit relieved. I would never want to be with some one who married me because "it was the next logical step" or because it is comfortable and easy. I want him to say to his friends that he loves me and knows he wants to spend every minute of the rest of his life with me (or something like that. 'Cuz guys - straight ones - just don't talk like that. :) ) not that he was with me when he realized it was time to settle down. I believe Neil is gone from my life and while I would've been happy had things turned out differently with us, given the circumstances and all his poor decisions, I will try and believe what you all say and that I will be better off with him gone. (Oh, and if any of you hear he got half of what I went through, you must let me know. :) )

Well, I'm off to hibernate. As a pretty grumpy, sad, dejected (who feels empty and lost most days) person who hates the cold, I figure hibernating is best! (I just wish I could really do it! I DO still have to leave the house occasionally.) I hope you guys are all doing well and staying warm. 6 more weeks of winter according to Puxatawny Phil. Some words of advice, "Don't Drive Angry".