Hi Everyone! Happy Memorial Day!!!

Well, once again things here are exciting. I'm in the midst of a career crisis. So....

I got a call last Friday from my boss, Denny. He wanted to let me know he had been contacted by a gentleman in our Washington Suburban who wanted to talk to me about a position in his office. Vince is a Global Account Manager for the Professional side of our company. His Global Account Representative has become the Districe Service Manager and he was given my name as a possible replacement. Denny gave me the information, let me know Vince would be calling me and wished me luck. I talked to Vince and we scheduled an interview in Silver Spring for Friday (this past). Vince called back and said his boss was going to be in my office on Thursday and could I meet with him? So, interviews Thursday AND Friday for the same position. I didn't really have a whole lot of time to think about it, given I was depriving myself of taste for two days, then anesthetized Monday. Tuesday, I received a phone call from a university where I applied for a fundraising position. We scheduled a phone interview for Friday afternoon.

When I went into the office on Thursday, after my meeting with Vince's boss, our Sales Manager asked to talk to me about the interview and the pending position. He used to work in the Washington area office and wanted to get my thoughts, give me some insight, etc. Then, I spent an hour and a half with Denny, going over some of the same things. I knew I had a list of things I needed to consider and issues which would become factors with taking the position. Of course, there is always the fail safe Pro/Con list...which I have always used more like Phoebe telling Rachel she wasn't pregnant...a guide to make a decision, then figure out how I really feel about it before finalizing my decision.

I met with Vince and had a nagging feeling in my stomach. Not a "I don't want to do this" feeling, but something either was not sitting right or I just couldn't put my finger on what I needed to straighten out. Here's the job scoop...I would be pretty much managing all of Vince's accounts from our office - working spread sheets, talking to customers, answering questions for them, placing orders, etc. The money would be "significantly more" (from what I can gather - since no one can tell me and Vince just said "over 40" is maybe 42 or so) and, according to Karen, would give me enough to live and pay bills. So, these are the thoughts running through my head....

* What is this feeling I can't put my finger on? There is some part of me that looks at the actual description of this job as a demotion. I have been doing alot of things since I first came to this company, most of which are either explicitly not my job description or very far stretches and twists of it. The best part is the getting in front of our customers. They know and trust me. Most of the time they contact me instead of their sales person. They know I will get whatever the need taken care of done. I enjoy seeing and meeting people and giving them a face to associate our product with. This would all change with the new job. From the best description I can get, it seems like a glorified secretary or clerical position. I feel more power and prestige in my current postion than this one seems to have. All of you who know me know I don't look for power or prestige, but control...yes I'm Type A, I like the control that comes with managing an account which has been turned over (essentially)to me. So, am I viewing this job as a demotion? A clipping of my wings? Being confined? Is this the thing I can't figure out?

* Is it wrong to turn down a promotion? A promotion is what most people work towards. We want to get ahead and be rewarded for our hard work. It seems 3 collegues of mine, all individually, submitted my name for this position. Is it a slap in their face if I turn it down? Also, does it reflect poorly on me if I turn down a promotion I was obviously interested in enough to interview? I was trying to weight the job on it's description, in addition to figuring out if the increase in cost of living was worth the change. It's one thing to have an increase cost of living and have to figure out if the salary difference would cover the raise in rent, utilities, etc.(say going from $800 rent, food, utilities to $1200 for a difference of $400 or so dollars). For me, I would be going from having to pay none of those things, to incurring those costs to a tune of at least $1200/month (so a $1200 increase for rent, utilities and food). Quite a difference! Also, if I turn down this promotion, will others begin to think they shouldn't offer me a similar position because I wouldn't take it?

* How can you tell if you could work with someone from a brief interview? Vince is a very different sort of person. I heard alot about him from the people I spoke with regarding this position (including his boss) before I actually met him. One of the things that sat a little off kilter with me (I don't want to say it annoyed me, because it wasn't quite that strong a feeling) is he constantly mentions his worth to the company and how much money in sales he has. It didn't annoy me, or make me think of him in an arrogant sort of way because he mentions it as factual, instead of in a braggadocious manner. He doesn't say it to show you how wonderful he is, but more to show you why he needs an "assistant" in a hurry. I was told Vince was quite "my way is the best way" and I'm not sure I can be a puppet doing someone else's work because they are to busy. I need a vested interest, even if it's just some ownership over the work that's getting done. I couldn't get a good grasp for that during the interview, which brings me to another thing....

I had contacted the woman who had the position previously to see if I could talk to her before my interview, or meet with her afterward to ask her some questions about the position. One of the things I like about this opportunity is that the woman who did it for 3 years will still be in the office to give me guidance. I finished my interview with Vince and he called Catina in, to answer any questions I may have of her. I had mentioned to him I was supposed to meet with her after he and I met, then he brought her in to his office to speak with me...while he was there. Adam, our Sales Manager, had told me Catina is very straightforward and honest and would give me truthful answers which would give me a good feel for the position that meeting with Vince or his boss might not. I was a little upset that my chance to get the truth was thwarted by it taking place in front of Vince. I was not sure how much Catina could be honest, or if I even felt comfortable asking the questions I wanted to, because how can you say "Is your boss a jerk? or Why did you quit?" in front of the boss himself? Since my interview was on a Friday before vacation, I left my work cell phone off all day. I checked it today just in case and found Catina had called me at 10:15, just after the interview and asked me to call her. I am curious as to what this was regarding.

Anyway, the "Pros" to this job would be feeling like a contributing member of society again. I know it's not all it's cracked up to be, but I can't help feeling as though I have flown through time and ended up back in 1993. Instead of feeling "almost 30" I feel 18. It also may mean a social life. My social life has drastically changed since moving back home. I know longer feel like my time is only mine, and I should take everyone else into consideration before planning things, like dinner, drinks, etc. And forget dating altogether. It's a bit embarassing to me to be 28 and having a date pick me up at my parent's house, where I live. Not to mention that spending time alone would have to be arranged around Dad's ice cream time and mom's cleaning, computering, etc. It would also be more money. I'm still not really sure this is a "Pro", since the difference in salary may end up just covering rent and I'll have to take from what I currently make to pay utilities, food, etc. It is a promotion. It would look great on my resume to show a promotion after 9 months of employment, plus it would lead me to other opportunities in our company I may like more. Some others are friends in the area, less miles on my car/less driving daily and developing new skills.

The "Cons" oddly enough look a bit like the "Pros". It would mean moving out of here. While I do have two very close friends in the Silver Spring area, here I have people to eat dinner with and interact with every day. There, it may be once or twice a month I see my friends to "unload" my day on. I pay no expenses here. It has been helpful in being able to save money. For the first time in my life, I have money in a savings account. The money factor from above would fall in the "con" category as well. I'd still be in copiers. ('nuff said!) I'm sure Friday I could have given you others in both categories, but I spent yesterday floating on a raft at Seacrets (a jamacian themed bar/restaraunt) in Ocean City Maryland. I imbibbed some Red Stripe and got a tad bit sunburnned and am now feeling tired..I think my brain cells are still on the raft "watering" ;), so I'll just move on! :)

Here's the other wrench in my poor brain - - - the university interview! I was perplexed and conflicted through most of Friday (not at all on Saturday - see "watering" above or today, because I'm tired). I had a 3pm interview with a woman from the university named Pat. I had just gotten to Ocean City and filled Karen in on all the thoughts and questions and feelings I had about my Thursday-Friday morning interviews with our Washington Suburban people, when my 3pm phone interview took place. I really enjoyed talking to her. It turns out Pat worked with my boss' boss from UNCG, Patty, at Florida State. Patty loved me, we worked well together and she was upset when I left. She told me to use her as a reference at any time. So I do. Pat and I talked about the current position, as well as her home city of Chattanooga and the fried green tomatoes place she just has to try when she goes back to visit her family. The current position would be raising money for the extended "non-traditional" campus. Since there are no models for this anywhere across the country, the position could be whatever the incoming person makes it and could take shape. There is tremendous support for this position from the Chancellor of the Extended Campus (who, did I mention knows my old roommate, Karen?), as it was his idea. I have to say I loved everything about the position and Pat seemed wonderful. I asked her about a timeline (seeing as the Washington office wants someone in there ASAP and is probably expecting me to have an answer on whether I would take the position on Tuesday). They are planning on narrowing it down to 3 candidates by next week. She has interviewed 6 and has 2 more to go. Those 3 would visit campus and they hope to have the person on campus late August/early September when classes begin. We didn't talk about salary. BTW, did I mention it's in Daytona?

I spoke my way through a plan with Karen after my 3pm interview ended. I am pretty sure I would pass on the Washington Area job, if I were one of the 3 candidates considered for the Daytona job. Denny told me two things in our hour and a half meeting I thought were very good advice - 1st, listen to my gut and 2nd don't let Washington rush me into a decision. I plan on calling Catina on Tuesday to see if I can get some more answers to my questions and take a day or two to ponder them. At that point, I should know whether I am making the final cut on the Daytona job and can make a decision from there.

What I haven't figured out is, if I don't make the final 3 on the Daytona job, would I take the Washington Area job? Should I ignore some hesitation on my part (and ignore Denny) and take the job? Or should I turn it down because of something I can't put my finger on and stay where I am, financially, socially, career-ly (yes, yes, it might not be a word, but if our "new Bill" can create "watering" and my friend Lisa can make up "obnoxion", then certainly I can advebtivefy "career")and physically. Lord knows I haven't made any good decisions in the last two years or so when it comes to managing my life, but I don't want to get so caught up in not getting any farther off-track that I become convinced any decision I make will be the wrong one. I am not sure I am thoroughly convinced I trust myself and my motives for leaning one way or the other. Am I doing it because I'm settled and scared of change and the unknown? Or maybe just to break free of the life I am living?

Speaking of the life I am living...everything went fine with the previously mentioned colonoscopy. I have a slight colitis (according to my GI guy, due to stress - I have to schedule a follow up appointment to discuss treatment methods)and a very black and blue hand, from the FIRST attempt at an IV. (And those little needle suckers HURT!!! The second attempt in the arm didn't even leave a needle mark!) I am still avoiding fruits, vegetables, chinese food (well, I keep trying different dishes determined to be able eat some, but so far no good. I tried Lo Mein tonight, we'll see how it goes), dairy, soda, alcohol and eating fast or in stressful conditions. For those of you with good memories, I know Red Stripe is alcohol, but if you have a REALLY good memory you'll remember I have NO WILLPOWER when it comes to food - and a very short memory when contemplating something I want that tastes good vs. why I don't generally eat/drink it! :) ) I believe some sort of IBS drug will be the next step of action in an attempt to let me eat fruits and veggies again! (It's so hard to lose weight just working out 4 days a week and eating carbs, little protein and desserts! ;) )I know - probably a whole paragraph of TMI, but it is the biggest cause of upset in my life lately.

I'll keep ya'll posted on the job front. Keep your fingers crossed that everything works out for the best (whatever that is)! Night! Happy Memorial Day! GBA (and our Veterans)!!!