So, I'm a little over my normal every two week message. Just be glad you didn't have to hear the rant about the ticket I got for waiting to pick my parents up at the airport. I'm still so mad about that! Anyway....

I've been having some really odd dreams lately. I'll spare you all the details, because really, who wants to hear them...but it got me thinking...at what point in your life does the 14 or 15 year-old insecure, "will-they-like-me?" person go away? Perhaps it's working in a high school that has intensified my feelings of "high school" or it could be the dreams that reminded me of the ups and downs high schoolers go through. For girls it was finding friends, fitting in, crushes on guys and dreams with Hollywood endings (oh, did I mention I'm addicted to "teenybopper" t.v.? That could be doing it too!).

As an "Almost 30" person, I have found a calm, happiness in who I am. Comfortable with my body (for the most part-but who wouldn't like to lose a few pounds here or there), my looks, my personality and knowing he's right when he says "it's not you it's me"! :) (not that that's ever happened to me :) ) Yet there's also some 14-15 year-old in me that gets a little thrill from knowing we see a few more athletes because they come in to see me. (Not an "ego" thing, but a fact. Bill's told me there are a few that get upset when I'm not here and it's just him.) Maybe the little part of me from high school that still wants to "fit in with the cool people".

Maybe it doesn't ever go away. I see it from time to time in adults too - Walking into a party of remote friends and wondering if you'll know anybody, will you find anyone to talk to, or what will they think of you? Or the act of walking into a restaraunt (not a deli or McDonald's) and eating by yourself? Maybe we always want to "fit in", be with the cool people, live out the Hollywood ideal life, somehow seeking out retribution for the 14-15 year-old who didn't get the experience the first time around.