Sentimental Feelin'

Hi All!

Well it's been a loooong time since I've written in here, but I've been feeling sentimental and philosophical so I thought I'd start again. Maybe writing will clear my head and allow me to sleep peacefully.

I've been feeling pretty sad about the bulldog-that-wasn't. For those just joining my moping, I filled out an application to "rescue" a bulldog a few months ago. The rescue contacted me two weeks ago (or maybe it was only one) and had a dog for me. Total anxiety attack. I was stomach in knots, unable to breathe for hours after thinking about it. I've been so excited for a bulldog and now that it was here, I totally flaked. After a Thursday night, post-weigh-in Friendly's dinner with mom melt down, I told the rescue that between my hours working and finances, I wasn't sure I would be a good home now. I still hope I did the right thing and have been mourning the "loss" of my bulldog since. My mom (sweetheart that she is) bought me a Webkins Bulldog to practice baby steps toward commitment and caretaking. It's not the same for various lonely single girl reasons too pathetic to write here.

In all my moping, I finally have some downtime to catch up with friends. Bill (our Head ATC) has been going to Michigan to watch his daughter play Field Hockey for Central Michigan. This left me with no weekends off since August until November 3rd. The constant working has left me a bit out of pocket. My head emerged to find one friend whose grandmother passed away and another whose caretaking of her father has increased the marital discourse in her life. It's a small reminder of how minute and "stupid" my "woe-is-me no bulldog" moping has been. Although it didn't alleviate it, it is a reminder of how much worse things could be in life.

I am greatly looking forward to Katie-sitting in December (although, Aim, after reading today's blog...maybe I shouldn't be so excited! :) :) ). My schedule has fallen in line with no all-day wrestling matches, so now it's just planning things to do with my little friend, Kaitlyn. :)

I will TRY to write here more often. Even if I am not around, you all are thought of by me often. (Especially on those days I'd like to run away to an island with friends or go back to specific fun, bar-hopping light-hearted moments!) I am off to Girls' Soccer State Semi-Finals in Central New Jersey tomorrow. Wish us luck. Both the Girls' and I have worked our butts off this year to go this far and I'd LOVE to see them win the States!