(This is a Michael Kramer advertisement. Please be advised this is a non-apid ad! :) )

I was reading an article today in Prevention magazine called "Bouncing Back". It wasquoting a research study and focused primarily on loss of loved ones, especially since September 11th. Here are some well extracted exerpts from his article.

"Saying that we should pull together and get on with life is fine. But for those of us engulfed in these or any other tragedy, how are we supposed to 'get back to normal'?" Dr. Levine, noted author and chairman of the Institute of Behavioral Health in San Diego says of a study he did, "What I learned from these people is that everyone reaches out to someone. That's how they survive. That's what makes them resilient." The article goes on to say that when interviewing people who bounced back, the researchers asked "What really worked for you and what didn't? The first thing they said, of course, was decent food, clothing, and housing. But the second thing they said was having someone who believed in them and told them they were going to get better. It was the opportunity to be close to one single person that gave them their ability to bounce back."

For me (granted some may not classify this as tragedy, but the emotions I've felt may convince you otherwise), it was not one person but many people. One of my favorite non-suspecting ones is my old roommate Mike. Picture it, you are hired at new job, leaving behind a small piece of h*ll (for any of you who've ever been to Rustin, LA...Mike says you'll understand) and arrive all bright-eyed to begin your awaited future. You move in with some random girl your co-worker arranged for you and off you go into happinees, right? Instead you come to realize that your co-worker and your new roommate are in the beginning stage of what will become a horrible relationship. Not the ideal situation you thought it would be, is it? The tensions on you must be enormous. Then, imagine the 4 months you come home to your roommate dissolved in agony, hasn't even gotten out of bed for the day, OR has called and asked you not to come home at all. Fianlly, she moves away; But you are not absolved of your roommate responsibilities yet. You get random emails admitting to absolute misery or cryptic phone calls you swear really aren't just to wish you a Happy Feather Pillow Day! :)

There are other people I've leaned on whom I've known longer. We've share some things and been there for each others ups and downs in life. Mike, bless his little baseball soul, just gets the brunt of the bad (and unfortuantely since I've known him...no good). There are some people who I've known a long time who have bowed out when I call upset, or wish to talk. Mike has not. And even when I ask him if I've been too much, and encourage him to tell me to GO AWAY for his mental health, he tells me I'm "ridiculous" or "absurd" and continues to "listen" and "receive" whatever I feel like telling him.

This past Thursday after my meeting with Bob, the president of the company I was temping for, I was flying on cloud 7 (9 was full :) ). There were a few people I wanted to share with (Yes, Neil being one of them, but couldn't be...it was a little humbling to my mood). So, I picked up the cell and called Mike. After rambling on to his voice mail for 15 minutes, I hung up. While waiting for James for dinner Saturday night, I checked my voice mail to find one from Mike. It was very "guy jock" message, but it still made me feel mushy and girlie! :) He said I deserved to be "pumped up by someone" (See, guy jock...I told ya! :) ) and he's sure so many people (and he listed a few...even got Mark's name right!) feel the same way, but it's good that someone told me and made me feel good. I deserve to feel good and be happy. (During our brief reutrn call - actually person-to-person - Neil called him and interrupted and immed. lowered my happiness buzz...but I digress.)

This is the type of person my Michael is. He's concerned for others and tries to find the time to help others...while doing things which satisfy himself and those he wants to spend time with. Sometimes, he overextends himself in trying to do too much with too many with too little time, but it's a very understandable trait! :) Although he's not great at returning email :) or picking up the phone when he's not in his car! :), the people he's close to know he is always thinking of them and will always "be" there if they need him. I only hope that there is a time I can return the favor for him and let him know how special he is to me for all I've "put him through". :)

They (whoever they are) say that in times of crisis there are those you can count on and those you can't. In the last more-than-too-many months I have learned who I can count on to be there for me when I need them, for however long I need them, not because it's easy (as a matter of fact, I'm sure it's been extremely draining and frustrating) but because they care about me and know that by leaning on them I will "bounce back". (I just wish I could be as confident as they are)

In addition to friends, there are 6 other things this article recommends to help "bounce back". 1) Search for spiritual peace 2) Count your belssings 3) Take up skydiving (well, actual a new interest) 4) Get good at something new 5) Help Others and 6) Love, Love, Love.

Please keep Mike in all your thoughts starting today as his Spartans take on the Georgia Southern Golden Eagles tomorrow at 4pm to kick off their show in the Southern Conference Tournament. If all goes well, he'll still be in Charleston coaching on Saturday (or Sunday) during the finals!