Hi Everyone! I was going to write Saturday night, but I've been so tired. My mom's relatives from Kentucky came up to attend my cousin Josh's wedding. the wedding, was absolutley beautiful. It was my first time attending a double wedding and eveything went off without a flaw. (Just don't look for ME to get married double, if I do! :) ) Yesterday, we had a cookout, played basketball, and had a family cookout horseshoe tournamnet! (You can do that with 23 people! :) ) so, needless to say, I'm exhausted. Sleeping on an air mattress for three days doesn't lead to alot of great night's sleep either.

The one thing I decided this weekend...I can't stand certain things about my family. I don't mean my extended family..I mean the four of us. We'll start with Jill (Dad will lead us in a whole different direction, so we'll save him for later.). First of all, the whole relationship between Jill and Trish gets to me every now and then. Saturday, Jill went to see Trish's new apartment in Manyunk. She left from the reception and booked down there for a night of drinking and debauchery as only a group of girls in a city of young people and a famous bike race can find. When she left, Jill said she'd be back Sunday for our cookout. We heard from Jill exactly once at 11pm to tell us she was gonna stay another hour or so and then come home. She got in about 1:30/2am. Somehow, it just seems...well, I want to say irresponsible, but I don't know if that's exactly right. She's very selfish like this and I guess, being such a non-selfish person (almost to fault) not only do I not understand people like this, but find they push every button I have. :)

Now, on to Dad. By the end of Saturday night, I was ready to throttle him with the wedding cake! He was upset and I got to hear about 1) how he missed his nap 2) why was this so long 3) how long do we have to stay and various comments - usually started with the phrase "Oh geez" about my mother. At the reception, we tried to get our family together for a picture, since all of my mom's brothers, nieces and nephews, and parent's were in attendance and dressed up! He hates these things. So, he began complaining and then kept yelling (well, stating loudly and sharply) at me to find everyone, which is what I was doing while he was telling me to do it. However, he always wanted me to go right to get so-and-so when I was going left to get so-and-so and then got mad b/c I "wasn't listening to him", when in actuality I had a plan. Did he want to hear it? nope. So did I bother telling him after awhile? Nope. The straw was actually during the picture. He began yelling (again just agitated sharply and loudly) at my mom who was on the other side of me about the camera not working, while she was talking to her brother about the camera not working. Instead of trying to tell him in front of my grandpop and whatever other family members were around us, I just said (maybe a little agitated at the way he would talk to her in front of other people) "Dad, she's got it". To which he raised his voice and told me not to yell at him, (to which I told him I wasn't yelling and that she was talking to my uncle about it, but I had to yell it b/c he was yelling at me over it) then went on to talking about how she's not paying attention and blah, blah, blah. Throttle him! :)

It was only by the grace of my dad's impatience I didn't sit and miss Neil during the wedding. It hit me at times, and I must admit during the reception I thought about him often and wished he was there, or that's I'd be talking to him after the wedding or something, but not often. Neil would probably not have talked to me the way he talked to mom, but he definately would have complained about having to be there. Maybe not during the being there (although he would've made it clear by body language any time would be fine to leave), but he would've let me know it ahead of time. Making sure to make it seem like a great sacrifice he was making to be with me b/c I asked him. The constant complaining about his life I do not miss. The part about it that gets me is that it doesn't seem like he complains anymore. About life or anything else. Happily married bliss.I also had mixed emotions about that. Part of me would get sad about the possibility of Neil and Christy sitting at that head table smiling and doing that annoying kissing when people clink glasses and the other part of me thinks they deserve to be stuck with each other for life! If she wanted that complaining in her life, by george she should have it! (reminds me ofthat email about the three women who went to heaven. St. Peter meets them at the gate and tells them they'll be chained for eternity to another based on how they lived their lives. The first woman is chained to an ugly man for the sins she commited in life. The second woman is chained to a similarly ugly man. The third woman approaches St. Peter and he chains her to gorgeous young man. When she comments on this, the man says (something like) "I was a horrible sinner".) (and he should be stuck being drug around everywhere and well...treated the way she treats people b/c he chose it.)

In any case, as mom and I say there are ants and there are grasshoppers. Mom has learned the art of living with grasshoppers. As for me, I just keep getting annoyed! Can't you pull the wings off them or something? :) Just holding my breath and muddling through. Can't be here forever. And is we all stay together much longer...we may not last forever! :)

Gonna go to bed. I'm tired. Just a bit of warning to anyone who still reads me...Tomorrow is Neil's birthday. I didn't send him a card, email, or anything. I'm trying to stick to my guns. It'll be hard, and tomorrows blog may be very emotional, so bear with me. (With the way I grieve for him, you'd think he died instead of just left me.)