Good Morning! I'm sitting here bored at work, so I figured I'd write the blog I was too tired to write last night. My grandmother is in the hospital. We think she's gonna be fine, b/c they can't find anything wrong with her. She went in with the same things she's had previously. My grandmother wanted to cook a big dinner for my cousins Sunday night before their parents returned home from their vacation. While she was cooking, she began not feeling well and went to sit down. My cousin Jeremiah brought her her request nitro along with a glass of water. She began to feell better and got up to go to the bathroom. She remembers going for the doorknob to get out, then the next thing she remembers is being on the floor and hearing my cousins Joanna and Joel and my grandfather calling for her. No one knows how long she was actually in there. She finally relented in going to the hospital, but all her initial tests were negative. She had an echocardiogram (originally scheduled for next week) yesterday and they kept her again. Today she's supposed to have a carotid artery test and a back x-ray. (Last year when she fell, she complained of her back, but since she hit her head, they were more concerned about that. Turns out she broke 2 vertebra. This year, no ortho. consult was made, so my mom had to fight with the Drs. to finally arrange for a back x-ray, since once again it was her area of most pain.) It inspired the lovely conversation last night of what would we do if something happens to her. (not immed., but it's inevitable)

My grandmother is a saint. Really. She's never said an unkind thing about anyone. She goes out of her way for everyone, whether she knows them well or not. She's always willing to help, hates being helped or "being a burden", and we all swear her prayers at night take 2 hours or more. My grandmother is really an angel and I know when she passes, there will be no doubt or hesitation in her moving to Heaven. We, however, will all have lost a truly wonderful person and it will be a huge void in all our lives. But, the changes are evident, and maybe it's more to prepare us to see her go, then to prepare her.

I believe it was two years ago my grandmother was diagnosed with Macular Degeneration. it has progressed to the point where, even with a large magnifying glass, she has difficult seeing or reading. Still, this has not disuade her from cooking for my grandfather and her family every chance she gets. Even after the pains in her chest and fainting began while she was in the kitchen did she quit. But this time, she may have relented to giving up cooking, except on occasion. Still, even with the gradual losing of her sight, she has never once complained or asked "why me?". She always reflects on how wonderful and full her life has been. There is not much I can say about my grandmother that isn't wonderful and gushing (it may be the only time in my life that I gush over anything!). I used to think I was her favorite grandchild. And I think I was until Jill came along! :) Then John and Josh, Rachel, Jeremiah, Adam, Josiah, Rebecca, Joanna, and finally, Joel! Each one of her grandkids is the most wonderful thing in her eyes. My mom still tells me though that I am her favorite. My guess is John or Joel.

She is frustrated I think at what she cannot do that she'd like to do. It is a tough road and I hope that when it is her time to go, she doesn't suffer or experience pain. Luckily, I think we have her around for a few more years. It does get you to thinking though about how frail life is. I'm sure many people experienced this after 9/11 and I hoep they keep that memory tucked just below the surface. We should remember how precious and fleeting life is. At any moment, those we love could be just swept out of our lives, so we should constantly remind them how much we care about them and how special they are to us.

Well, I guess it's time for me to get some work done today. I'm still job hunting, so if any of you hear of anything...let me know. And, as always, I'll keep you posted as to the interworkings of my mind, and the daily nonsense in my life! ;) I hope you all are having a good day!