It's funny the things that pop through your mind on any given day. Thoughts like these, often pop through my head when I'm tired OR have been running around like crazy. I liken them to those awful pop-up ads on the internet. It's just a way of me remind me that I've got something else to do. I usually use this blog to purge feelings, in the hopes that if I write them down or share them, they'll go away. :) So, a Friday Potpourri for your reading....

A friend of mine once said, "Jenn, you have to love your family; you don't have to like them." Somedays this is more true than others. Yesterday was one of those days. I was looking forward to hanging out with Jill and taking in baseball. I had never been to Yankee Stadium and was all set to enjoy my trip. Yet it seems, every excursion with my sister ends the same way. In this case, Jill sat and talked to the gentleman (how weird to call men our age gentlemen) sitting next to her the entire game. So, I sat and watched the game, the fans, etc. Not having anyone to comment on the game with, or point out things in the crowd with. I always think going out with Jill will be different and yet every excursion I end up alone wishing I'd stayed home. (Well, maybe I didn't wish that this time...but it def. isn't as fun watching a baseball game alone.) Somehow things in life just aren't the same when they happen and there's no one around to share them with.

This leads right into point #2 (well at least to me). Neil. I know, I know...heaven forbid I write a journal without his name in it. I miss him. There, I said it. Unfort. Missing him immed. jumps to the fact that all I miss about him he's now sharing with someone else. Maybe similar to the Jill situation in this feeling. It seems like life keeps moving and everyone is sharing the moment with someone...and I'm the third wheel. It jumps right back into all the feelings of "What's wrong with me that these people would rather spend their time with others?". So, needless to say, last night I was right back dreaming of Neil constantly chasing Christy when I'm sitting right there and she's obviously the worst choice of the two. As another friend, in a very different situation once said, "It's like I'm screaming underwater. No one can hear me and I'm yelling as loud as I can." Not a fun feeling.

Next, we move on to Hank. Hank is my mom's friend in New Mexico. And I just gotta ask..."Hank, were you a writer for The Way We Were?" For those of you who haven't seen it, The Way We Were is basically a tale of two people who love each other but find they are not compatible and in the end, go their separate ways in there separate lives loving each other. I HATED this movie!!! I want to know why the things that pierce your heart would turn your life into such horrible upheavel if it wasn't supposed to work out! Why would God want us to love something or someone so much and then rip it away to know it will always go on without you. My old college roommate's theory is appreciation. If we have to go through hard times to get to the good ones we'll appreciate it more. My question is...If you appreciate every site, smell, sound, and feeling in Albequerque (Sorry Hank. Hope I didn't slaughter the spelling too bad!) why would you be granted it, then it doesn't work out. Should you appreciate the fact you even got to be there, if it just leaves you yearning to go back everyday of you life? If nothing else will ever measure up, isn't it better never to have gone in the first place? I'm beginning to think it would be. So, as I read the story of Marla Hanke sent me, I was hanging on the edge of my chair just knowing in my heart the story would end with Marla and Garrett living in N.M., together finally, with jobs and the financial means to support themselves. Guess what? The story ended and Marla is in L.A. and Garret is in Sacramento with no N.M in the immediate future. Such is the story of life; wishes, hopes and dreams and no inkling of them ever coming true. Doesn't mean I have to like it, guess it just means I have to get used to constant disappointment because in all the years and everytime I've watched that STUPID movie, the ending is always the same.

Seeing old friends is always good. My friend Bill came to the baseball game last night. It was nice to catch up and talk about old friends and people we knew. A little akward I must admit. And I'm not quite sure why. We talked about getting together and getting Kare to come up sometime to see us all. :)

O.K. It's almost time for me to go home, so I'm gonna wrap this up with a couple funny moments from last night's game. Well, not from the game itself, but the SSU people in our section. You WON'T see these stories on the website! :) First, our section was packed. This guy came up the aisle from my right and asked the guy 5 seats over if he could get through. So, you know...this started a chain reaction of everyone getting up. You know where his seat was? On the end of the row...right on the aisle. Jill turned to me and said, "Guess he graduated from your school?". So, I hit her with a ball of tin foil! :) Unfort. it rickashayed off her and hit the guy she ended up talking to all night. So he says..."I see. Salisbury girl, are ya?" I put them BOTH on my list! :) The FUNNIEST thing happened in the 8th inning. I had left Jill (Not that she really noticed) to go up and sit with Bill and his friend Laura. As we were sitting there, this guy fell over the seats and tumbled down 20 rows of blue seats. I wouldn't say this was exactly funny at first, but it turns out he was a business student from Salisbury who was there on an officially sponsor school trip. At least, we're pretty sure he was b/c as soon as they escorted him out, the rest of the Salisbury contingent left too. Thing was...he was blitzed! He wasn't hurt in the least, I'm sure, but I'm not so sure about the other unsuspecting fans whose heads he rolled over. Maybe you just had to be there. :) (Or could be...you just had to go to Salisbury to get it!)

Night all!

Jenn